116: Birth and Baby: One size doesn’t fit all

We met in a coffee shop in 2015 to talk about moms. Why weren’t they being supported after the birth of their baby? Why were women of color more likely to die during childbirth? Why wasn’t anyone talking about postpartum depression? We talked about our personal stories and the lack of resources available to us while pregnant. It was clear that we both had the same goal – to help families, especially mothers, thrive during pregnancy and early parenting.

In 2017 we were working together as co-owners of Gold Coast Doulas, West Michigan’s premier doula agency which had grown to include birth and postpartum doulas, lactation consultants, sleep consultants, and educators. When the pandemic hit, we had clients and students wondering what would happen. We thought a shutdown might last a few weeks but when it was clear it was going to be several months or more, we knew we had to think fast and completely shift the way we thought about our business.

Gold Coast Doulas immediately began to offer virtual birth and postpartum support and classes. We also began working on recording our classes for students to watch from home and offering live phone chats. The Tired as a Mother online series was created in place of in-home consults which were no longer happening. Informed Pregnancy+ now hosts the first in this series on pregnancy and newborn sleep which also offers additional sleep classes that cover through the toddler years.

We realized months in, our pregnant and newly postpartum clients were starved for community and that’s what drove us to create the Becoming a Mother online series. Eventually we wrote a book from that series called Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby (2024.) It’s an all-encompassing guide to pregnancy, birth, and early parenting. It’s the book we wished we had when pregnant!

We took a decade of working with clients and students, personal experiences, evidence-based resources and information, and client stories, and brought them all together into one easy-to-read guide. We believe there is no other book like it. It gives an overview of several options, so mothers and parents can make their own informed choices. Most books will tell you one “right way” but we don’t believe there is only one way. We know that even within the same family, parents may have to shift parenting styles based on each child’s personality. We know that not everyone plans to breastfeed, and we know that not everyone wants to be an attachment parent.

Mothers can read a book and end up feeling guilty or defeated before they even begin. With sleep books, for instance, parents might try one method and if it doesn’t work, they believe they’ve failed. Or if the method is too difficult, they may give up, again feeling like they’ve failed. When a book (or person or group) gives you only one solution, that can be very damaging. If that one way doesn’t work, what is a parent supposed to do?

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to parenting. We want you to understand what resources are available to you, what circumstances may arise, and what choices you may have to make. We want to give you the tools to make educated decisions and learn to trust your instincts.

Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby is the book we hope every new mother reads. We know it sure would have changed our pregnancy, birth, and postpartum journeys if we had this available to us when we needed it!

Kristin Revere and Alyssa Veneklase are the co-authors of Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby. Kristin is the owner of Gold Coast Doulas, a Certified Elite Birth and Postpartum Doula, a Newborn Care Specialist, and a Baby Registry Expert. Alyssa is a Certified Elite Postpartum Doula, Certified Sleep Consultant, and Newborn Care Specialist. They both teach The Becoming a Mother online series.