94. Top 5 Tips for Choosing a Therapist

Choosing the right therapist for you is essential for effective therapy and personal growth. Picking a therapist’s name out of a hat simply won’t work as there are many points to consider, especially if you’re new to therapy. It can be overwhelming at first, but I liken the search for a therapist to the fun, positive experience of going to your favorite ice cream spot every week.

Each week you try a different flavor and make notes on what you like and dislike about it. After a few weeks, you’ll have tried many different options: dairy free, loaded chocolate, fruity sorbet, waffle cone or no cone, etc. You’ll know your favorite amongst the options, and that flavor will come to mind as the one you enjoy most and feel most comfortable calling your favorite. Almost intuitively, based on your needs and preferences, you will ascertain which flavor is number one.

It may be a simplistic analogy but it works! Sometimes you have to try a few before you find the “right” one. As a practicing psychologist myself, I know that I am not for everyone, which is why I sometimes refer people out to other professionals that I know will be better suited to help them with their individual needs. I trust that other professionals will do the same when they know there’s a better option for their client.

Read on for my 5 top tips on how to choose a therapist who’s best for you.

Ask someone you trust.

• Word of mouth is great when you’re first starting your search. Ask friends or family if they know of anyone or have experienced therapy themselves with someone they think would be good for you. The people closest to you tend to know you better than most, so it’s a great place to start.
• Don’t have anyone to ask? Seek out local reviews of therapists and counselors online! Look for licensed and credentialed mental health professionals such as licensed psychologists (PsyD,) licensed professional counselors (LPC,) licensed clinical social workers (LCSW,) or licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT.)

Consider accessibility.

• Do you want to physically enter an office and meet with someone face to face? Would you prefer a Zoom or Facetime call instead from the comfort of your home? Maybe you don’t feel like being on camera and you prefer a phone call. Maybe you want a mix! Make sure you pick someone who offers sessions the way you want them.

Ask for their area of expertise.

• Don’t be afraid to ask the reception team or the therapist themselves if they have the knowledge base and experience that is specific to what you want to work on. (Some therapists offer complimentary consultations and you should absolutely take advantage.) Some professionals focus on childhood trauma, PTSD, substance abuse issues and recovery, female issues, depression and anxiety management, LGBTQ+ issues, OCD and related issues, relationship issues, child therapy, and more.

Check costs and check your insurance.

• Don’t cause more stress for yourself by getting to the end of your search only to find out that the professional you want to see is out of network. Therapy can be costly, so it’s essential to consider your budget if you’re paying out of pocket. Ask if they accept your insurance. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees or other payment options. Don’t be afraid to ask!

Choose someone who you can build a relationship with.

• Research has identified that the relationship between therapist and patient is the number one most important agent of change in therapy. It’s crucial to feel comfortable and safe with your therapist, not only for comfort but for growth. Consider factors like their communication style, gender, age, and cultural background to find someone with whom you can build a strong therapeutic alliance. Feeling comfortable with someone is a very personal experience that only you can define. Trust your instincts.

While research and recommendations are essential, your gut feeling about a therapist should not be ignored. If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable during the initial sessions, it may not be the right fit and you should confidently move on to the next ice cream flavor (therapist) that feels like a better choice.Therapy is a collaborative process, you can’t do it alone, so whichever mental health professional you choose can significantly impact your therapeutic journey and overall well-being. Take your time, explore your options, and don’t be afraid to speak up and ask questions.

Baby on the way? Check out Alyssa Berlin’s The AfterBirth Plan.

Dr. Alyssa Berlin is a clinical psychologist specializing in pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting. She offers private counseling for women individually and with their partners. Dr. Berlin is the creator of The AfterBirth Plan™, a program that prepares couples for what to expect after a baby is born. The workshop teaches couples how to prepare for a healthy postpartum transition for the baby, for each partner, and for the evolving relationship. She combines her psychological background and her doula training to help women and their partners feel empowered and comfortable in the labor and delivery process, both on a physical and emotional level. Dr. Berlin has specific expertise addressing fear and anxiety that may arise before, during, or after birth.

Dr. Berlin is on the Board of Advisors for the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN) and is a faculty member of Maternal Mental Health NOW Training Institute. She conducts live pregnancy and parenting workshops throughout Southern California and online. You can read Dr. Alyssa’s blogs on the Huffington Post where she contributes to PBS’s ‘This Emotional Life” project. Dr. Berlin received her doctorate degree at Argosy University in Atlanta, GA and went on to become a certified Gottman educator. She is a member of the American Psychological Association. She and her husband, prenatal chiropractor Dr. Elliot Berlin, live in Los Angeles and are the proud parents of four amazing children.