Ep. 145 Hilary Duff – After Birth
November 20, 2019 · 69 minutes · Episode 145
About this episode
Hilary Duff shares details about the last few days of pregnancy and what it was like to experience labor and delivery at home. Spoiler alert: She’s a total G.
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Key quotes
“And she looks at me and she's like, so you want to go get in the tub? I start bawling like hysterically crying like tears of joy. I feel so I felt so proud of myself. I was like, oh, my God, I'm there.”
“And she reaches up both of her arms and like curls into me, reaches up her arms right at my neck as to give me a hug. It was the most… First of all, I couldn't believe how strong she was, but it was so clearly like a hug.”
“The one thing that was like, many women have done this before you and now you can do it too was something that I really held on to”
“I think when I keep saying the feelings were so big that's what I'm trying to tap into is to tell you like I couldn't control it anymore and I just gave over to it. But then your body's just doing what it's going to do, right? And I kept telling myself like your body's going to do this. Let it go.”
“And I was like, I think birth is so personal and every experience is so different and everybody is so different. And I would never be like, oh, you have to do it this way.”
Related episodes
- Ep. 431 Postpartum with Emily Johnston (Part 3)
- Ep. 84 Out-of-Hospital Birth Centers – Hayley Oakes, LM, CPM
- Ep. 440 Holiday Top 10 Countdown: Part II
- Ep. 430 Birth with Emily Johnston (Part 2)
Transcript
AI-generated transcript with speaker labels — may contain errors, especially names and medical terms. Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC appears in blue; Hilary Duff in orange.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:13] Welcome to the Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Elliott Berlin. My last interview with today's guest took place 10 days before she delivered her second baby. And now it's 10 days after she delivered her second baby, Hilary Duff. Welcome back to the podcast.
Hilary Duff [0:40] Hi.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:41] Congratulations.
Hilary Duff [0:42] Thank you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:43] You look a little different. Last time we spoke, you were waiting for labor to start. You already had lost your mucus plug, which we didn't talk about, but I always say look under the couch.
Hilary Duff [0:54] I didn't lose it under the couch.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:57] No, but that's where everything I lose turns up. Mucus plug.
Hilary Duff [1:00] I wouldn't be surprised, this crazy household that might be under the couch. It's such an awful term.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:05] It's so gross.
Hilary Duff [1:06] Even just to call it like your plug, it's just weird. And mucus plug doesn't make it any better. Mucus plug. I know. You know what was so frustrating? I lost my mucus. And then the other one, the bloody show.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:16] The bloody show is hot.
Hilary Duff [1:17] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:18] Really hot.
Hilary Duff [1:19] But I had mine at two separate times.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:21] You did? You had a double showing?
Hilary Duff [1:23] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:24] You had a matinee?
Hilary Duff [1:25] Yeah. Which was so like, really got my hopes up, you know? Oh, yeah. Twice. And then I still didn't give birth for ten days.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:31] All that obstetric terminology is very, I think men came up with it.
Hilary Duff [1:37] You do? Because I feel like a man. I'm very tired.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:40] You did just have a baby. I feel like a man cringes every time they hear mucus plug your bloody show. I don't know. You know what it's called if your cervix dilates early before 37 weeks?
Hilary Duff [1:51] What?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:52] Served in cervix. Isn't that mean?
Hilary Duff [1:55] It's mean.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:56] Yeah. And on the other side, if you're in labor and it doesn't go fast enough, failure to progress. There's so much pressure on us.
Hilary Duff [2:03] And then the mucus plug. And you know what happens? As if we don't do enough, you're going to make us failures. Feel bad at everything. Incompetent.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:10] Like your cervix should have studied harder.
Hilary Duff [2:13] And then you don't just have your mucus plug, but you lose it because you're an incompetent failure.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:17] Right.
Hilary Duff [2:18] I hate all that terminology. It should be like your pregnancy cap, you know, and you release it because you're ready to have your baby now.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:24] Oh, you're the best. We should rename it all. Let's do it.
Hilary Duff [2:27] I'm ready. We'll write it on textbook.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:29] You're the best, honestly.
Hilary Duff [2:30] Oh, thanks.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:31] I think you're the best. So last time I was here, I picked up this vibe from you that you were pretty excited to have your kid with a side order of nervous anticipation.
Hilary Duff [2:40] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:41] Is that about right?
Hilary Duff [2:42] I'd say that's accurate.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:43] So take me through the next 10 days after I left. What did you do? I know you were like ready. I saw you trying to do things to help get the ball rolling. What did you try?
Hilary Duff [2:52] Well, I worked out almost every day, so I was still hiking and I still was going to some exercise classes. I was drinking lots and lots of raspberry leaf tea with nettles.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:04] Do you like the flavor?
Hilary Duff [3:06] Yeah, I learned to love it. I put a little stevia in there. And I liked it iced. I always drink it iced. My girls make lemonade. And so they make third trimester lemonade, and it has raspberry leaf tea in it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:21] You know what?
Hilary Duff [3:22] Next baby.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:23] Maybe that's what I was missing all along. I needed to be spiked with lemonade.
Hilary Duff [3:26] That's right. We'll get you covered. I was doing like primrose oil or barrage oil, eating it and sometimes the other way too.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:39] Oh, both? Just wherever you could get it in?
Hilary Duff [3:41] Yep. Okay. Lots of walking. I mean, I was jumping on the trampoline with Luca.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:49] What?
Hilary Duff [3:50] Yeah. I have two speeds. Yeah. One is like I'm flattened out, I'm dead tired, or I'm like go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:58] And you were still go, go, go of 39 weeks.
Hilary Duff [4:00] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:01] I'm just thinking because my kids are like, dad, jump on the trampoline with me and I'm not 39 weeks and I'm still like, oh, all right, fine. I feel like a terrible dad.
Hilary Duff [4:11] You are the farthest thing from a terrible dad. I know that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:15] Thank you.
Hilary Duff [4:16] What else was I doing? I was eating the salad. I was eating spicy food.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:19] Tell me about the salad because I saw your post about the salad.
Hilary Duff [4:21] I know. I don't know.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:23] What's in the salad?
Hilary Duff [4:24] Lots of walnuts, I'll tell you. And I'm not a fan.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:26] You're not a walnut fan?
Hilary Duff [4:27] No. The dressing is very good.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:29] Spicy?
Hilary Duff [4:30] No. It's a lot of like vinegars and like oregano and stuff like that. I think that if you look online, there's something about oils and vinegars and spices that's supposed to help.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:41] Did you eat it just once?
Hilary Duff [4:42] I didn't. I ate it a few times. I even went and just got the salad dressing to do a shooter.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:47] I'm surprised you didn't insert it with the barrage oil.
Hilary Duff [4:51] I did not. I was a little scared of the burn.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:53] What else? You were doing a lot of physical stuff.
Hilary Duff [4:57] Yeah. And then I finally talked to my psychic and she's like, oh, I can do this. And she's like, she wants to be a Scorpio baby. So she's waiting for it to turn for like the sign to like the moon to shift into Scorpio or whatever. And she wants to come on the full moon. And she totally did. She came on the full moon.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:14] Yeah. And she wanted to be on her duty. Remember I sent you a picture? I was driving. I'm like, if this… I just saw that moon. Yeah.
Hilary Duff [5:21] I was like, if this doesn't do it… I forget.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:23] Did you send me that on the 24th or 25th? I think I sent it to you while I was driving to you and I saw you I think the night before you went into labor.
Hilary Duff [5:29] Yes, you did.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:30] So it was while I was driving.
Hilary Duff [5:31] Yeah. So it wasn't quite the full moon because on that night I went into labor, it was like the big full harvest moon. Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:41] It was the next night. Yeah. Yeah. I was also driving actually in this neighborhood at that time.
Hilary Duff [5:45] You were?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:46] And I was wondering. I'm like, hmm.
Hilary Duff [5:48] Why?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:49] I… because I saw somebody else very close to here.
Hilary Duff [5:51] Okay.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:52] That's right.
Hilary Duff [5:53] You said you see someone close to here. Yeah. I went into labor at 1230 p.m. And yeah, that was so… It was like crazy. I was like a little…
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:05] Hang on a second. I was really impressed about something on the night that I saw you. It was the night before you went into labor. And I came in here and just to backtrack for a second, you said in our last interview that you were… your process in putting together your team was pretty specific. Like you started to interview midwives and it sounded a little bit like Goldilocks, you know, and the bears. This one's a little too hippie for me and this one's a little too medical for me. And this one's just right. Right? And that was Beth. Yeah. When I came over that night, you were like, yeah, something came up and Beth has this medical emergency and might not be here for my birth.
[6:47] And you were so relaxed about it. It was surreal because I had accused you of being control freaky.
Hilary Duff [6:57] Do you retract the statement?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:58] No. I take it back. You can still call me Nick. I was really impressed. I'm slightly worried about Hillary. You were totally concerned about Beth and her situation that was going on.
Hilary Duff [7:10] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:11] You hadn't even met the midwife that might have been your midwife that was covering for her. Right. I knew her and I loved her, but you were just chilled about it. You were just surrendered to it.
Hilary Duff [7:20] I think this process, as much as I wanted to control her getting here and being able to control the situation, know how long it was going to last, like the pain and all that stuff that we talked about before. When really big picture stuff happens, I tend to be very calm. I'm like, well, in the grand scheme, I'm ready for the baby to come out. Whoever Beth is putting me in touch with is going to protect me and keep me safe. And she's not going to put me with someone that's not going to mesh with me. You know what I mean? Everyone has a job to do and everyone knows what needs to happen. And I'm sure that's going to happen. And so there was no way to, there was no point in freaking out.
[8:04] Like, what was that going to, how was that going to serve us?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:06] I don't know. But I mean, that's logic. But emotion is different. Yeah.
Hilary Duff [8:11] Something really big happened, you know, in Beth's family.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:14] So it was like, it just was way bigger than me and having a baby.
Hilary Duff [8:19] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:20] It just felt really selfless and just very, just surrender-y and I was pretty impressed.
Hilary Duff [8:27] Well, you know what? I just waited for Beth to come home.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:29] That's what I think so, too.
Hilary Duff [8:30] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:31] I think so, too. I think she wanted Beth to be here. Or maybe it was that massage and adjustment because we did a lot of work opening up your back and your hips and your pelvis and then your baby came.
Hilary Duff [8:43] Yeah, my baby came.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:44] Now don't you wish you had have done it a week earlier?
Hilary Duff [8:48] The massage?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:49] Yeah. Who knows if that was it?
Hilary Duff [8:51] But Luca was- I think that it was, I think all of it was part of it. You know what I mean? Yeah. That moment just kind of made it happen that night.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:59] You did not have a ramen bowl, a spicy ramen bowl?
Hilary Duff [9:01] I did not have a ramen bowl. I can't even tell you what I ate for dinner that night.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:04] Yeah. But I'm just saying you tried everything else. You had the nettles and the red raspberry leaf. You had the salad multiple times. You did salad shots.
Hilary Duff [9:12] I did salad dressing shots.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:14] Yeah. You had no spicy ramen bowls.
Hilary Duff [9:16] Isn't that weird? Yeah. Each kid has their own thing. Yeah. Maybe she wasn't feeling those flavors. So I wasn't interested.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:24] So how did it start the next night?
Hilary Duff [9:27] I mean, honestly, it was a totally normal day. No signs of anything. And I had an awesome night with Luca. Got to have a lot of time with him, like to put him to bed. Oh, that's super nice. We went outside in the front. We had a bunch of random flowers bloom, like roses. We cut a big blooming pink rose and put it in water and put it in Banks' room. And went to bed. Matt and I were in bed. We were watching a show. And it just started. And I was like, oh, that's a new feeling. That's a real feeling. And I started pacing a little bit. And he was like, oh, I should get up and shower and wake up. And I'm like, I don't know. Let's lay back down. And then we got up, got down, got up, got down.
[10:24] And then it kind of, I think that nervousness kind of kicked in of like, I can't lay down anymore. I need to be walking because the contractions were, they were coming five minutes apart right away.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [10:36] Out the gate?
Hilary Duff [10:37] Mm-hmm. I broke a vase. I bumped into something in my room.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [10:41] Just by accident? Knocked it over?
Hilary Duff [10:43] Yeah. And Matt was busy kind of getting the house ready. He was getting the birthing tub out of Luca's room because he was using it as a trampoline for a while.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [10:55] Multi-purpose.
Hilary Duff [10:56] Yep. And I was just kind of pacing around, like dealing with it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:01] Was it just like Luca, when it started, you're like, yep, this is it?
Hilary Duff [11:04] Yes. It was very clear that that was happening.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:07] Did it seem familiar, like similar to how it had been last time or was it too far away?
Hilary Duff [11:12] Yes. But I have to tell you that what I told you last time about getting to the hospital when my contractions were three minutes apart, that had to have been a lie because I did not feel that kind of pain with Luca before I got the drugs.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:24] Oh, at home?
Hilary Duff [11:25] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:26] Wait a second. So here you got to three minutes apart.
Hilary Duff [11:30] I actually never got to three minutes apart here before I was in active labor.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:34] And it was more intense than you thought it would be?
Hilary Duff [11:37] Hell yeah. Yeah, it was.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:39] Right away?
Hilary Duff [11:40] Yeah. I mean, tolerable, but right away. It was definitely tolerable. I mean, it's all tolerable, but right away it was just like, oh, these are real feelings. Like this is, you know what's going on, you know, because it still feels pretty big.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:59] Did you feel it in the front or in the back or both?
Hilary Duff [12:03] I felt it, you know what, through my whole entire labor, it was kind of switching back and forth where I was like, oh, I heavily like feel it in the front right now. And then maybe as I would like progress, I'd feel it like wrapping around my back. And then sometimes I would move positions and I wouldn't feel it like wrapping around my back and it would be mostly in the front.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:26] Did one feel more or less comfortable than the other, front or back?
Hilary Duff [12:33] I think the one where it's wrapping around my back felt more comfortable because I dealt with them less. Oh.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:40] What do you mean you dealt with them less?
Hilary Duff [12:42] Like those didn't seem to, you know, I've always heard of like back labor, but that has something to do with the position of the baby, right?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:51] Usually.
Hilary Duff [12:52] I just, you know that wrapping feeling I'm sure like you've heard women talk about where it's like the tingles like start in your back and then kind of like coming up all the way around, forward.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:02] Oh, they move around to the front, yeah.
Hilary Duff [13:04] I had some of those, but the majority of it was all in my front.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:11] Yeah. What did you do in that early time to get comfortable? You said you were walking around, you broke a vase.
Hilary Duff [13:17] I walked. I broke a vase. I was like kind of tidying the house.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:23] That's what you said when I asked you if you could direct your labor, I said, right? What would you do? You're like, I'd be milling around the house, go play with the dogs, play with Luca, tidy up a bit.
Hilary Duff [13:33] Didn't play with the dogs a single bit. I didn't want them anywhere near me. Even though Momo actually was a dream and he didn't leave my side the whole entire time.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:40] I was wondering, did they act differently once you?
Hilary Duff [13:43] They were really chill.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:44] They were.
Hilary Duff [13:45] They were really, really chill.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:46] Just their usual selves, no difference?
Hilary Duff [13:49] More chill than usual. No, Momo knew something was going on and followed me every step I made, but didn't bug me, didn't ask for attention, just wanted to curl up near me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:00] Oh, so sweet.
Hilary Duff [14:01] It was so sweet. I tried to rest and lay down. I would get up if I was uncomfortable.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:10] With Luca, you did your hair.
Hilary Duff [14:12] I didn't. I definitely brushed my hair. I'll tell you what. I put my eyebrows on.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:19] Oh, that's something. That's hair.
Hilary Duff [14:21] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:22] It's a form of hair.
Hilary Duff [14:23] I definitely filled my eyebrows in, which is so funny. I kept walking in his room, checking on him. He was out cold. Now it's early in the morning or 2 in the morning. That really surprised me because I was thinking I was going to get further along by that point in time. I don't know. In my mind, I always thought I was going to have her at night. The morning rolled around so quickly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:46] When did you reach out to your team?
Hilary Duff [14:49] We reached out around 2 a.m., so it had been about two hours.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:53] And Beth was back or just coming back?
Hilary Duff [14:56] Beth had just gotten back. I think she got a few hours of sleep, but not much.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:02] That's what's usual for midwives. I've been texting with her ever since. Do you know the emoji that you can send where it fills your screen?
Hilary Duff [15:13] Oh, I've seen it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:15] I just send her babies like it's raining babies because she's delivered three babies.
Hilary Duff [15:20] I know, since you. She's been really busy. It's just a baby boom. It's raining babies. We reached out to Daisy first, my doula, and then sent Beth a text just so everyone was on the same page, like, OK, it's definitely happening. And then everyone, you know, this whole entire time has been like, it's your second baby. You're probably going to progress really fast. And that was not really the case. So I know you got the text at around 2, like, hey, when can you be here?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:49] I know. What time? I didn't get a text until like 9 in the morning.
Hilary Duff [15:55] Oh, you got a text at 9 a.m.? Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:58] From Daisy?
Hilary Duff [15:59] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [16:00] Saying what?
Hilary Duff [16:01] This is so interesting. I don't even feel like I was there for half of this.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [16:05] Yeah. 2 a.m. would have been no problem. 9 a.m. No, I thought like 2 p.m. You got a text. No, no, I already got a text in the morning at 9 a.m. OK. Daisy was like, she just said what you basically said. Labor had started, you know, shortly after midnight and it was slowly building up and progressing, but, you know, not super active yet. Yeah. And she just questioned availability. Could I come over? Yeah. With a ramen bowl, as I had promised.
Hilary Duff [16:34] See, I didn't know about that conversation. OK. I knew about it by like maybe one or something like that. And then you were available at 4.30 and I was like, I'm not going to be still pregnant at 4.30, so you tell him not to come because I'm getting this baby out immediately.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [16:53] So that's so funny. That was our conversation at 9.30 was I don't think I can really get there until 4.30 because I can't cancel the patients at the office. Yeah, of course. And I said, and I hope she's not still in labor, and I said she's probably not going to be in labor still by 4.30. And Daisy was like, maybe if I just tell her that you could come then she'll get the baby out now. And she did it and it worked.
Hilary Duff [17:19] Yeah. I think that was the most surprising part for me was thinking it was going to progress a lot faster than it did and it just didn't. So by the time I was in active labor and transition or whatever, I had already been in labor for a really long time.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:39] During that whole time, what were you doing for comfort?
Hilary Duff [17:43] Moving around a lot. My sister and my mom were downstairs cooking and hanging with Luca, watching a movie. I think Guardians of the Galaxy was on TV.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:54] Great birth movie.
Hilary Duff [17:56] I know. I was sitting on the bouncy ball at one point behind the couch just trying to get through some of the contractions. I'm like, when I pictured my birth, I didn't picture watching Guardians of the Galaxy on TV. And Luca's explaining to me the characters and stuff like that. And I sat on the floor for quite a bit. It felt really good to squat if I would be talking to someone. I was very normal in between contractions. And then the contractions would hit and I would just have to step away. And I would hold onto the wall or kind of hang on something but squat down.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [18:33] That helps a lot of people. Did you get in water at any point?
Hilary Duff [18:39] I never got in water.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [18:40] Really?
Hilary Duff [18:41] But I have to tell you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [18:42] Did you think about getting water or it just didn't seem appealing?
Hilary Duff [18:45] It didn't really seem appealing and I kept being hot and cold. Matt and I laid down a lot. We took quite a few naps upstairs and he was amazing and just really calm. Daisy did that shaky back thing to me a few times.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:08] Oh, with the roboza?
Hilary Duff [19:09] Mm-hmm.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:10] How did that feel?
Hilary Duff [19:11] It felt really good. And then what else felt good is she flipped it around and took the weight off my belly because I told you all my contractions were in the front. Yeah. So kind of being on all fours and having the scarf tied around my belly and lifting up while I was having a contraction felt like a weightless kind of feeling. Yeah, it felt really nice.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:34] How was Luca when he woke up and found you in labor?
Hilary Duff [19:37] He was totally calm. He was kind of uninterested.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:41] Really?
Hilary Duff [19:42] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:43] Were you making noise during your contractions?
Hilary Duff [19:45] Uh-huh.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:46] He's just like, oh, it's mom.
Hilary Duff [19:47] I was trying not to make noise. I think maybe I was a little more aware of that when he was around. But I warned him. You know, we had a lot of talks about what this day kind of was going to look like and what I might sound like. And he was cool through it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:03] Oh, so he stayed home.
Hilary Duff [20:05] He stayed home, yeah. But you know, his room is here and I spent a lot of time upstairs. Once my contractions were coming, once they were getting a lot more intense, I was upstairs mostly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:16] And were there other things that got more intense that felt comforting to you? Was touch comforting?
Hilary Duff [20:22] Touch was very comforting. Light touch, which is funny because when people light touch me, I'm so creeped out for the most part, like in life. I'm like, oh my God, just don't give me like a light puny handshake. Don't just like caress me or something. I'm just not interested in that kind of stuff. And it felt really good in labor. Like Matt would, you know, touch my arms or touch my back or Daisy would like lightly like rub her hands up and down my legs. And it felt really soothing. Also, some oils smelled a lot of clary sage and that felt really good. Oh, it's so earthy. I don't know why it felt really good to me. And then the other thing that was really helpful was anytime someone would tell me
[21:14] to relax, I'd want to punch them in the face. But Daisy would say, actually, the one time I told Matt, I was like, you have to shut up. You're going to die if you say that again. It was one time he like popped up from like dozing into a nap. It was like a long day for him, too. He was like, just relax, babe. I was like, you're going to die if you say that. He was like, sorry, sorry. OK, that's not that's not helpful. But then one of my midwives, Julie, who is amazing, came in and she's like, just like just melt into the bed like when your contractions are coming. Just imagine yourself melting into the bed. And then for some reason, that really helped me like just stay really relaxed.
[21:57] That was the hardest part was like not fighting the contractions.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [22:00] I was wondering, prior to that, were you fighting yourself?
Hilary Duff [22:03] I don't think I was. I mean, I was trying to I was trying to stay calm. Maybe the first couple of times I would fight them, you know, as they would get more intense. And then you can't, you know, and they would, you know, the midwives or some or Daisy or Matt, you know, would remind me not to like hold the stress on my face, like relax your face, relax your jaw, like breathe and just try to melt into the bed. And all that stuff sounds so annoying right now when I think about it. But in the moment, like I needed the reassurance, not the reassurance, the guidance, you know, to remember because it's hard and it's so repetitive and it's such a natural feeling to want to fight it, you know, because it's
[22:45] big energy moving through, you know, it's intense big energy moving through you. And and, you know, I felt like I did a lot better when my whole team was around. My midwives were going in and out throughout the day. And I did really well when it was just Matt and I. And then I did really well when it was like Daisy, Rebecca, my photographer, who's also a doula. She's also a very calming. Amazing. Yeah. And then like my three midwives and when everyone was around me and Matt and my family, like it was I did much better. So weird. I totally thought it was going to be the opposite. But it was like I needed a tribe of people.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:29] You said that when you need to figure stuff out, you like to just go inside and be alone.
Hilary Duff [23:33] Yeah. But this was such a bigger, scary feeling. I definitely got through some contractions alone. Like I don't know what it's called, but I some of those big, big, big ones where you're like, oh, I'm moving for it. Like I'm progressing. You can feel the baby moving forward. No. Like the contractions are getting way bigger. The pattern, you know, you'll have a few. Then your body can deal with those a little bit better. And then a big one comes, you know, and then you've kind of like gone to another step. Yeah. Or that's how it felt in my mind, at least, or my body.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:02] No, it builds up.
Hilary Duff [24:06] I felt like I would let myself move forward when I had the whole team around me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:13] When?
Hilary Duff [24:14] Because I know, yeah, it was probably around two or three when Daisy's like, OK, no need to come. Baby's almost here.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:21] Yeah.
Hilary Duff [24:23] You know what? To be honest, Daisy, I think she didn't think I was progressing as fast as I was. And maybe I was handling or acting like I was handling the pain better than how it felt, you know, because she kept being like, we need we need the contractions like tighter together. We need them coming like a little stronger, a little more frequently and a little like a little longer like each contraction. I don't think I ever had a contraction longer than 40 seconds. No.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:54] And also you said they never got really close together.
Hilary Duff [24:56] And they never got really close together.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:58] It happened to my wife with our first baby.
Hilary Duff [25:00] So I was like thinking, I'm like, well, why am I holding myself back? Like, what's going on? Why am I not progressing? I was getting very frustrated, you know.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:07] Your body didn't read the textbook.
Hilary Duff [25:09] No, my body was like, this is how we're going to do it. That's right. And so finally Beth came in and she's like, you sound different to me. So I want to check you. I hadn't been checked the whole entire time. Just such a different experience in the hospital. They're always like jamming up. Jamming up. They're like, what's going on?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:30] It's been a minute. Let's check you again. Yeah.
Hilary Duff [25:33] They like to check. Yeah. So I hadn't been checked at all. And I got really nervous. And I think I started to cry a little bit, like not boohoo cry, but like I think I welled up because I got I got really nervous that I was going to be disappointed by what she was going to find. You know? And she she's like, I'm not going to tell you your number. I'm like, I just I like to pass tests and she's like, this is not a test. You crazy. I'm like, I just I don't know. I've been like working so hard all day this. I just like want to be there. You know, I want to be there. And she's like, well, I'm going to either tell you you can get in the water or you can't.
[26:16] You know? Like, so that means I'm close enough to push time. Go time. Party time. And so I get through like a few more contractions. They like get the bed ready and everything. And she checks me and Matt's like holding my my face. He's like at my head. And she looks at me and she's like, so you want to go get in the tub? I start bawling like hysterically crying like tears of joy. I feel so I felt so proud of myself. I was like, oh, my God, I'm there. I got there like I thought she was going to tell me I was at like five centimeters and I had a ways to go. It was such a happy moment. It was such a happy moment. And also scary, scary for the next phase.
[27:04] Yeah. Scary for the next phase, but like much more of a relief. Excited, scary.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:09] Yeah.
Hilary Duff [27:10] Anxious.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:11] Yeah. We are going to take a quick commercial break. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. So you hop in the tub?
Hilary Duff [27:33] They had to fill the tub.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:35] Oh, was it filled yet?
Hilary Duff [27:36] Nope.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:37] That takes a minute too.
Hilary Duff [27:38] It took like maybe 15 minutes or so. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like. The right temperature. Yeah. I was laboring on the bed, which I hadn't been laying down. The contractions actually felt a lot stronger laying down for me. So the ball was helping a lot. Sitting on the ball. Oh, you know what else helped me? The heating pad.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:00] Your back?
Hilary Duff [28:01] The heating pad, yep. And then if I was like too hot on my back, I would just put it on my belly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:05] On your belly?
Hilary Duff [28:06] And it felt really nice.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:07] I see people, like in the hospital, they take the shower wand. Izzy, go away. I'm sorry. You're a lover. They take the shower wand, you know, and you have the hot water, and a lot of times they just hold it either by their back or by their belly.
Hilary Duff [28:21] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:22] The warm seems to be helpful.
Hilary Duff [28:23] So once I got in the tub, I wanted the, I wanted cold water.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:28] Because the tub was hot?
Hilary Duff [28:29] The tub was pretty hot, and it felt amazing at first, and then all of a sudden I was like, I'm very hot. And it wasn't that the water was hot. I think it was just like a weird… Hormonal thingy? I don't, maybe. And I wanted the hose, like just cold water running on my back. Felt really like nice relief. And then the tub started to get too full, and then it was like I didn't get to have that cold water anymore. And so then Matt was like, either Matt or my sister, I don't even remember who. I don't even remember who. Was like squirting like the Fiji bottles with the pop top on them. Cold water on my back.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:08] Multipurpose. I never thought about using the Fiji bottles that way. What, your mom and sister had never been to a home birth before. Yeah. Right? How did they feel about you choosing to have the baby at home?
Hilary Duff [29:20] I think it made them nervous to not, to think about not being at a hospital. But they just didn't know anything about home birth. And once they heard about my team and let me explain it a little more, one, my sister got super excited. She was like, I'm pumped for this. Really? I'm ready. If anyone can do it, it's you. And she was so supportive and amazing. And I think my mom was a little more worried but then got, you know, got behind me. She knows that I'm pretty, I don't think stubborn in this turn, like this, this is not the right time to be stubborn because obviously if anything went wrong, I would be like in the car on the way to the hospital.
[30:12] But I'm just, when I have my mindset on something, I want it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:16] You're headstrong.
Hilary Duff [30:17] I'm headstrong. And so she knew she has to like jump on board or there's no other option.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:24] Right, but when she was here, did she seem comfortable?
Hilary Duff [30:26] Yes, yes. I think she, I think I'm the baby of the family. So it's hard to watch your child be in pain and do something that you've never experienced, you know? So she had C-sections. And so the first time around just me being at the hospital delivering Luca was a lot for her to see. And then this was a totally different experience. A different experience and still a lot, a different a lot, a much more a lot. The first time she saw me having a contraction in the house, she was like cooking bacon for Luca on the stove. And she's like, I just kind of like squat down and like holding onto the cabinet. And I'm not like talking during my contraction
[31:09] because it hurts, but I'm breathing and I'm just like, you know, honestly I just step away from the conversation we were having to like get into my zone to just get through it, you know? And my mom was like, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. And I was like, mom, you cannot do that. You cannot do that all day. It's gonna make you feel secure. Yeah. And she's like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, just don't do anything. Just go about your-
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:36] Keep cooking bacon.
Hilary Duff [31:37] Keep cooking that bacon, girl. But she got used to it for sure. And then, you know, she's my mom, so just having her here for the support of the comfort that your mom brings, you know, was important to me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:51] Yeah. Even me and my mom, like when I'm going through a hard time. I mean, it's just the person you call. Right.
Hilary Duff [31:59] So how long were you in the tub for?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:01] Do you know?
Hilary Duff [32:02] I have to tell you, in my mind, I told the story to someone and it was like 30 minutes. And Matt was like, no, no, no, no. It was like an hour and 30 minutes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:12] Oh, it was good that it felt shorter than longer.
Hilary Duff [32:14] Yeah. I think there's big chunks of time that I don't remember in the tub.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:21] Your body's protecting you?
Hilary Duff [32:23] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:24] I guess. So I'll do it again. It's kind of- Did you feel like it was out of body?
Hilary Duff [32:29] I, hmm. No, I felt like I was in my body and I feel like I just kind of went away. Like my brain went away.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:49] The thing from the core to your brain?
Hilary Duff [32:50] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:51] Oh, that's nice.
Hilary Duff [32:52] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:53] I think that's what we aim for, to just sort of shift back into the older part of the brain that knows how to do this.
Hilary Duff [32:59] Yeah. I will tell you that I kept saying to myself, oh, I don't need to be here for all of this. I don't need to be here for all of this. Like getting through my contractions and stuff and then even in the early part of me being in the tub when they were still coming on really strong, I remember just being like, my body's going to do this, my body. So like you don't have to just disconnect, just stay calm, just stay like open up. Just, you know, don't be, you don't need to be here. I kept saying to myself for some reason.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:34] It almost sounds like you're telling your rational brain you can- Calm down and go away. Turn off for a little bit. Yeah. We got this covered. Yeah. You're domain.
Hilary Duff [33:46] Right. My body was just doing everything my body was supposed to be doing, which was weird to let it take over like that. And actually really scary. I got to a point where I said out loud and I was looking at Julie, one of my midwives, and I was like, I'm really scared right now. I'm really scared.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:03] Was that before you got in the tub?
Hilary Duff [34:05] Uh-uh. In the tub.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:09] And you were in there for I guess over an hour. Were you pushing right when you went into the tub?
Hilary Duff [34:13] No.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:14] When did you start pushing?
Hilary Duff [34:15] The pushing was like five pushes. It was quick.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:18] Yeah. Did you feel ready to push?
Hilary Duff [34:20] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:21] You knew it was time.
Hilary Duff [34:22] Yeah, but the feeling was so big. It was like scary. But it was bigger than me. It was out of my control.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:29] Physically big?
Hilary Duff [34:31] Yeah, and just wrapping my head around the first sensation of needing to push, it was very big feeling. And I don't mean like the baby felt big. The shift in the feelings of my body felt like, oh my God, how am I going to climb over this? This is right in front of me. I have to face it. I have to do it. It scared me. And then the next one came rolling in and it was just like I had to push. And it didn't, it didn't, that part didn't hurt as bad as I thought it was going to.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:17] Did you think that?
Hilary Duff [35:19] The feeling was like so scary.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:21] The feeling?
Hilary Duff [35:23] Of the baby moving through my body and being able to feel all of that. It felt just really intense and really scary to let that life force move through you like that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:37] But not as painful as you thought it would be.
Hilary Duff [35:40] Yes, and I mean like actually in my vagina. I was like scared that it was just going to be like extreme pain in my vagina. And it was not like that. It was very painful in my hips. And then it was more scary, just the overall bigness of what was happening than like, ow, this hurts so bad. I can't do it again.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:04] So two things come to mind. One is you're with Luca. You originally wanted to have a Caesarian birth because you were afraid of what it would feel like for a baby to crawl through your vagina. I think that's what you said. I said crawl through. Maybe I made that up. I don't know. I might have embellished. But then you kind of said that part of your reason for wanting to do the home birth is because your body had done so much and motherhood has been so incredible for you that you didn't want to miss out on feeling what that would be like. In retrospect, are you glad that you did that?
Hilary Duff [36:40] Totally. I'm totally glad I did it. And I would totally do it again.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:44] Ooh, that's exciting.
Hilary Duff [36:45] Yeah. But I'm telling you that in the moment it was scary and it was overwhelming and so badass that I feel like afterwards I was like, I can't believe I did it. I can't believe I did that. Because it was scary. And there was a moment where I was like, why am I not in a hospital right now with all the drugs?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:07] Oh, you did have that moment while you were pushing?
Hilary Duff [37:09] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:10] Who was around you?
Hilary Duff [37:11] Everyone. Not Luka.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:13] Luka didn't want to be?
Hilary Duff [37:15] No.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:16] So it was your mom, your sister, your midwives, your doula.
Hilary Duff [37:20] And my birth photographer.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:22] And your birth photographer. And then eventually your baby.
Hilary Duff [37:25] Yeah. And then I think I got the head. I got her head out. And the next minute or so, obviously her shoulders were next, but I couldn't hold my weight up anymore in the tub. And Matt was holding my arms. And Beth was holding one of my legs and Tasha was holding one of my other legs. And I got her body out really fast. But they were completely supporting my weight. I remember feeling like it was taking so much to push that I couldn't hold myself up.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:05] Were you pushing on your own? Or was there coach pushing?
Hilary Duff [38:09] I was pushing on my own.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:11] Just when you felt like pushing, you would give it what you felt like. But you're kind of like an all or nothing,
Hilary Duff [38:17] like you said earlier. And she came out fast, her body. That was the weirdest feeling of feeling that body move through me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:25] Fast.
Hilary Duff [38:26] And I was so relieved when it was over.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:28] Did you reach down and feel her head when it was coming out?
Hilary Duff [38:30] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:31] What was that like?
Hilary Duff [38:33] Because then you can feel it internally, but you also can literally touch her head. Yeah. Honestly, when I got her head out, I was a little shocked by the feelings, that I was like a little… I've seen women reach down and pull their baby out, but I didn't do that. It was cool. I felt like, oh my God, okay, now I'm there. I've got to finish this job. But it was really like… It was just really intense. It wasn't pleasant at that point. And I think I was totally not in my full head space. My body was doing what it needed to do. And it wasn't until her body came out that I could want to grab onto her and bring her up out of the water and stuff.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:26] All right, because she's totally under water for that. When her head's out and you're bringing her body out, she's in the water.
Hilary Duff [39:32] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:33] What was it like when you pulled her to the surface?
Hilary Duff [39:38] So she needed a couple of breaths from Beth. She was blue, but I knew not to be scared of that because my son was blue when he came out. And she's like… I'm like, she's good, right? We're all kind of like, she's good, right, Beth? She's good. She's like, yeah, talk to her. Mom, talk to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm petting her back. I'm talking in her ear. And she just came out really fast. And Beth was like, she just needs a minute. She's got to come into her body. She needs a minute. She's fine. She's totally fine. Keep talking to her. Keep talking to her. She gave her two breaths. They stuck that little tab in her cheek
[40:18] that kind of helped soak up water in the lungs. And then she was fine. And then she did the most amazing thing. Did I send you the video, right? I saw the picture. Yeah, the video. She did the most amazing thing where I'm looking at her. They hand her to me and I'm looking at her. And you know, babies are like floppy little worms. They just don't have any control. And she reaches up both of her arms and like curls into me, reaches up her arms right at my neck as to give me a hug. It was the most… First of all, I couldn't believe how strong she was, but it was so clearly like a hug. I've never seen anything like that. It was amazing. It makes me want to cry.
[41:03] It made me feel like she was like good team mom. We did it. You did what you needed to do and I did what I need to do. And like, hi. We did it together. Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:13] It was so amazing. It was like a little high five. We are going to take a quick commercial break. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Well, you said also that you had your hopes and dreams to give birth in a tub.
Hilary Duff [41:38] I did it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:39] You could check that off your list.
Hilary Duff [41:40] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:41] What happened after that, the post-birth care? Just immediately for you and for your baby.
Hilary Duff [41:50] So I was in the tub for a while. I was in the tub when Luca came in to meet her. And the sweetest thing happened then too. I think I've been pretty public about the fact that Luca was not necessarily stoked to have a sibling in the beginning.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [42:07] Yeah. You did tell me about the card he made.
Hilary Duff [42:11] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [42:12] And by the way, that was like…
Hilary Duff [42:14] With the hammer. But then she became the Hulk. She became the Hulk and shattered the hammer. Well, I was nervous because, you know, I think he was just a little worried about where our relationship was going to stand and what that looked like having a baby in the house and all of that. Anyway, so he comes in. I'm still in the tub. And he's right there with Matt. And he comes in and he looks… I'm like showing him the baby and like this huge smile crawls across his face. And then he's like, I'll be right back. And he like darts out of the room. And I hear him let out this huge cough in the hallway. And because obviously nothing can ever just go smoothly.
[43:00] And he got like croup a week before I'm supposed to give birth.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:04] I remember.
Hilary Duff [43:05] So he's like coming… You know, he's definitely on the mend but still has like a little bit of a cough. And he runs back in and he's like, I did not want a cough near the baby. And I'm like, oh my God, everything's going to be okay.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:20] He's sick. Oh my goodness. That's so sweet.
Hilary Duff [43:23] It was awesome. It was really, really sweet and made me so happy. And then, yeah, I was just… She was rooting around already to nurse in the tub before I even got out of the tub.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:35] Did you latch in the tub?
Hilary Duff [43:36] Yep. I hadn't cut my cord yet.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:39] Oh, you hadn't cut your… Oh, wow.
Hilary Duff [43:41] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:42] Did… Was latching easier this time? Your mom didn't have to grab your boob.
Hilary Duff [43:46] No, I grabbed my own boob this time. Latching was very easy, yeah. My boobs hurt so bad right now.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:55] Right now? Are you getting baby-sharked again?
Hilary Duff [43:58] I think that's what you call it. I'm getting baby-sharked, yeah, in a big way. But she's… I mean, we're feeding great, which is amazing and I'm so grateful for. But I forget this torture, man. Yeah. It's rough. And the feeling sick because of their sucking, your uterus is kind of going back. Oh, the cramping that you're having? That's a tough few days, yeah. That's all gone now, thank God. But we just go through it, man.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [44:25] You guys… I said last time, it's just incredible, the whole pregnancy, the birth, the feeding, the babies. Yeah. It's mind-blowing.
Hilary Duff [44:35] Matt is… He's so sweet and he's just in awe. He's like, I wish I could do more. He wants to get up for every feeding. I'm like, go to bed, please. You're going to be more useful for me tomorrow. In the morning. Yes. Fresh energy. And he's just so… Gets me a snack every time I'm nursing at night for like a fresh water. And he's like, this is just so… He's like, I'm so grateful for what you did for our family. It was like so sweet. And he's like, I just did one thing one time. And I'm like, yeah, that's right.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [45:11] You did one thing one time. And now look at that. Our report's pretty easy. Was it weird when everybody left when your birth team went home?
Hilary Duff [45:23] You know what? They stuck around for quite a long time. We… We finally moved to the bed and they checked me out and they checked the baby out. Luca did the well baby check, which was so fun. He helped weigh the baby and measure the baby and all of that. And then I had a snack. I had sugar fish, I had sushi. And I thought I was going to want a glass of wine but I took a sniff and I was like… No? Not into it? No, not into it. Yeah, it was cool. We have the most amazing baby nurse, Loretta, and she came that night to make sure we got a good night's sleep. And the baby, Banks, nursed like kind of off and on all night. And we got up in the morning…
[46:13] Like I think the morning was a little more weird. But not whenever… Because you're just home.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:19] I was so tired, I was like ready to go to bed.
Hilary Duff [46:21] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:22] I remember after our home birth the morning was very strange. Because you're just there. Like you don't have to go anywhere. Right.
Hilary Duff [46:29] You're home. Yeah. And then the midwives came the next day and checked the baby out again. And Luca was so into her. Like just wanting to like kiss her head and touch her hair and like stare at her.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:43] I love that. So sweet. So sweet. How was delivering your placenta?
Hilary Duff [46:49] Not that fun. Not the most exciting. Not what you want to do after you… Yes. Not what you want to do after you give birth.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:01] You're like, and that?
Hilary Duff [47:03] Yeah, it's right. It's not over yet. They had me waiting in the tub until I was contracting, I guess, again. And then it wasn't that hard, but it's just not pleasant. Looking at that thing is just insane.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:18] Insane in what way?
Hilary Duff [47:19] I mean, it's really kind of beautiful. Not the part that faces you. Right. The part that looks like a steak or something.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:26] Yeah.
Hilary Duff [47:27] That's nasty.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:28] The part that's against the baby. The part that the baby's in is awesome. It's so incredible. Your body makes this disposable organ. That's complete life support. Yeah. And then pushes it out.
Hilary Duff [47:39] Yeah. And they were showing it to me like they lifted up the part where like she was in, you know, like the pouch almost. Yeah. And it was crazy. And then when they lay it flat, it does. It looks like a tree of life. It totally looks like a tree of life.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:52] Did you make something out of it?
Hilary Duff [47:54] I did.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:55] To eat?
Hilary Duff [47:56] I did.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:57] Or artwork?
Hilary Duff [47:58] I did. So they made me a smoothie.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [48:00] They made you a smoothie right away? Just a raw piece of placenta? What did you put in your smoothie besides that?
Hilary Duff [48:05] Lots of berries. Lots of fruit juice. Yeah. It was the most delightful smoothie I've ever had. You can't taste the placenta.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [48:11] Well, not with all the sugar that they put in it.
Hilary Duff [48:13] Yeah. No. I haven't had a smoothie that delightful since I was like 10 years old. It was just calorie filled with like juice and fruit and everything delicious. It was good. I didn't. I was a little wigged out to be honest with you. But then I did research. And none of it's like totally proven. But I don't know. I've already gone down this road of doing all this different stuff. I'm like, I might as well. Might as well do it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [48:38] And then I heard that it might help you stop bleeding. Anecdotally. Like you said, there's no great science on it. Not that I've seen yet anyway. I know there are studies underway. But anecdotally, people say it helps with the bleeding or with lactation or with postpartum blues. Have you been feeling blue?
Hilary Duff [48:57] I have not been feeling blue.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [48:58] See, it works.
Hilary Duff [48:59] I've only had it twice. Sorry, three times, my smoothie. So they made ice cubes. Like frozen placenta chunks that you just put in your smoothie. Yeah. And the first time I had it after my birth, maybe it was like three days after, I was like, I'm going to try one of those. We had like family coming in town and just like a big day of like visitors and stuff. And my milk came in that day. And so I don't know if it was my placenta that made me really emotional. Like having a smoothie or my milk coming in. But I was, I could not stop crying all day. But not sad. Just like overly emotional. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to take a chill on those for a few days until like my milk supply
[49:44] is just like here. And I'm not like, no big changes are happening. Because honestly, I felt like the day after I felt so great. I was like, and the day after that, I mean, I felt great right away. But anyway, that emotional day happened. But I think that was due to my milk because then I had a smoothie yesterday, like my third one, I guess. And it was great.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:09] Did you also dry it out to make pills?
Hilary Duff [50:13] No.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:14] Just smoothie chunks?
Hilary Duff [50:15] Yeah. I heard something weird about the pills.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:18] What about it?
Hilary Duff [50:19] I heard that you can, and I'm just super sensitive to this, have you ever taken like oregano?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:25] Yeah.
Hilary Duff [50:26] And then you can kind of like burp it out.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:28] Oh, placenta burps. I heard placenta burps are not ideal. That sounds terrible.
Hilary Duff [50:32] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:33] Because they don't smell good. Irony. Oh, right. They're raw sometimes. They're just like sashimi.
Hilary Duff [50:39] Well, I guess I did have a smoothie the first time. No, but just like literally.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:43] That's disgusting. Hardcore. I think if I had a placenta, I'd make a PLT out of it.
Hilary Duff [50:48] A PLT?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:49] Yeah, why not? Special sauce, lettuce, cheese.
Hilary Duff [50:51] I am going to be ill.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:52] Sorry.
Hilary Duff [50:53] By the way, Luca wanted to see it in the ice cube trays yesterday, actually. He was like, did you keep your placenta? And I was like, yes, because he knows all about this stuff now. And he's like, where'd you put it? It's in the freezer. And he's like, in our freezer? I'm like, yeah, I'm just in ice cube trays. And he's like, no way. And he said something funny.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:14] What was it?
Hilary Duff [51:15] I showed it to him. He was like, I wish I hadn't have asked. It does look really gross. But at least now he knows not to go munching on whatever that is.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:24] Yeah, definitely not. You watched a bunch of birth videos. You listened to some of our podcasts and other media. You did a lot of research in the end. Did you find any of that helpful while going through your own journey?
Hilary Duff [51:41] Oh, yeah, absolutely. I think that, oh, I should have my birth board. My birth board helped me a lot.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:49] Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.
Hilary Duff [51:51] My birth board, my vision board helped me a lot.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:54] You looked at it?
Hilary Duff [51:55] Uh-huh. I actually had to ask my sister to move seats because they put it in my window and she was sitting right in front of it and by the time I was in my tub and I had, once the niceness. Oh my God. I'm definitely 10 days out from having a baby. Once the, what's the word I'm looking for? How nice it felt to be in the water. Oh, once the… Once that all kind of wore off. Yeah. The water kind of treat. Okay, yeah. The water treat wore off. I was like, I need to have something else to hone in on. I asked Matt, was I even looking at you? And he was like, yeah. I was like, I can't remember who I was focusing on or pulling from or what I was… It just got so big,
[52:48] so fast in the tub, you know,
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [52:50] so real. You had a lot of stuff on the vision board. Were there things that were more helpful than others?
Hilary Duff [52:59] The one thing that was like, many women have done this before you and now you can do it too was something that I really held on to and it kind of made me think of all the birth videos I had watched and the different ways women handled it. I think I was particularly calmer than some of the videos that I watched and maybe a little more quiet. But I still haven't watched my birth video.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:23] Well, you didn't watch it back? That's what I was wondering.
Hilary Duff [53:25] No, I don't have it yet.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:27] Oh, right. Because she makes it into like a nice, like a wedding video. Yeah. Like a nice… Takes all the pieces of it and really just puts it together. Yeah. I was wondering, so I'll have to ask you this question again later, but just from having experience to her birth, had your birth video been one of the ones that you watched, do you think it would have made you feel calmer or more freaked out?
Hilary Duff [53:52] I think calmer. I think it would have made me feel calmer.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:59] That's a good sign.
Hilary Duff [54:00] Yeah. I think I held it together. I think I felt more crazy inside than I was acting on the outside.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:08] Was there anything in particular that was like a big surprise to you?
Hilary Duff [54:12] I guess the way that it fell out of my control to surrender.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:27] That's not a big surprise to me.
Hilary Duff [54:29] That's not a big surprise to you?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:30] No. I mean, I think the whole time I thought that was going to be your issue is surrender.
Hilary Duff [54:35] Yeah. It goes back to my control freakiness. Yeah. Well, at one point it just got so much bigger than me that it was out of my control.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:45] That you just had to surrender?
Hilary Duff [54:47] Yeah, but that was the scary… I think when I keep saying the feelings were so big that's what I'm trying to tap into is to tell you like I couldn't control it anymore and I just gave over to it. But then your body's just doing what it's going to do, right? And I kept telling myself like your body's going to do this. Let it go. Yeah. And then that one moment where I was like why am I not at Cedars? With all the drugs.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [55:16] Okay, Banks Violet. How'd you come up with that name?
Hilary Duff [55:21] You know what? Matt and I right away agreed on the name. We loved it. And it doesn't come from anywhere special except for the fact that right before we literally two days before I went into labor Matt Googled the name Banks Bear because his last name is Bear, B-A-I-R. And in the 1800s he found relatives or bear descendants or whatever that were William Banks Bear. Two of them.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:03] Really?
Hilary Duff [56:04] Isn't that insane? And so then the dad had a son and named him William Banks Bear.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:09] No kidding.
Hilary Duff [56:10] Yeah, but we already agreed on the name. I feel like names sort of come to you divinely anyway.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:15] Isn't that bizarre? So it's actually a family name.
Hilary Duff [56:18] That's so crazy. That's so cute. Thank you. It's adorable. And she's adorable. Oh my gosh. I hope she wakes up. But kind of not. Because at 5 p.m. she really turns into a baby shark and just wants to feed, feed, feed, feed, feed. But then she's sleeping at night anyway, back to her name. We thought we were going to name her Violet. And then I kind of threw out Banks thinking he was going to go. No way. No way. Yeah. And he's like, I love it. And I was like, cool. And then that was, there was like no more discussion.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:48] Do you know other Banks babies?
Hilary Duff [56:49] Nope.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:50] I don't either. Never heard it before. It's unique then.
Hilary Duff [56:53] She's unique.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:55] I have two more questions for you. Having gone through it all now, is there anything you would do different in the future?
Hilary Duff [57:05] I'd try to sleep a little more.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:07] In the early part?
Hilary Duff [57:08] Mm-hmm. I would try to sleep a little more in the early part. I think I didn't know, you never know what's going to happen, you know? And it was like, everyone told me I was going to show really fast because this was my second baby. And I didn't show really fast. I didn't show until I was five months pregnant, really. Do you know why? I have no idea why. I just didn't. But you know how everyone says that, right?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:41] Yeah, you usually show a lot quicker.
Hilary Duff [57:43] Yeah, I did.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:44] I mean, if you pull ten people who've had two babies, they're almost all going to say that.
Hilary Duff [57:47] Yeah, I didn't.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:49] But you work down a lot in between kids.
Hilary Duff [57:53] Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:55] Because you just tighten everything back up again. You show quicker because things get a little bit stressed out.
Hilary Duff [58:00] Thanks, Dr. Berlin.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:01] Yeah, you're welcome. High five.
Hilary Duff [58:04] I don't know. I mean, I do work out a lot. I wouldn't say I was in the best shape of my life by any means.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:11] Right, but I mean, there were six years in between or five years until you got pregnant again. And you worked out a lot, so everything kind of…
Hilary Duff [58:19] Yeah, maybe.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:20] Tenses back up again.
Hilary Duff [58:21] Well, the same thing was like… Plus you'll carry differently with every kid. I totally carried differently with her. Totally. And my body now is so different than I thought it was going to be because of what I looked like after I had Luca. It took me a long time to kind of like have a normal shape again. And that's not really the case with this time around. It's only ten days.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:44] It's only ten days. I got to try your diet plan.
Hilary Duff [58:48] There was no diet.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:49] Whatever you did.
Hilary Duff [58:50] There was no diet.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:51] I'll give them a chocolate and push for an hour and a half just to get this thing out of me.
Hilary Duff [58:57] Anyway, I was going to say that I thought it was going to progress a lot faster, too. Everyone's like, second babies come faster, second babies come faster. And I don't think she came that fast. So I think I would try to rest a lot more and be like, okay, this is like early stages. But again, I had my baby six years ago, almost seven years ago. So I think, you know, now I remember like, oh, this can be this long and this is what this is and this isn't scary.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:27] Just chill.
Hilary Duff [59:28] Yeah. I was awake, though. I mean, we were awake for like 24 hours by the end.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:33] Because you thought it was going to be faster.
Hilary Duff [59:36] Yeah, you just never know.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:38] Our first was very long, 42 hours. Our second was very quick, just over two hours. Our third was longer, again, six hours. So not very long. And then the home birth was 90 minutes start to finish.
Hilary Duff [59:50] Wow.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:51] 90 minutes start to finish. The midwives were there for maybe 30 minutes.
Hilary Duff [59:54] What?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:55] Just enough time to fill out the tab.
Hilary Duff [59:57] That's wild. You know what I will say? That was an amazing, when I looked back and I was like, what was the difference in this, you know, compared to my hospital birth? It was so calm and it was so nice to be home, but also not having the drugs and not having the fluids like pumped in me. Luca was a very stressed out baby the second I got the drugs. And I think that's the case for most babies in hospitals. Like they're not responding well to them. You know, their heart rate is going up and down. And I had to be laying like halfway on my belly to try to get him to flip because he was sunny side up. But every time I would go to my, I forget if it was my left or my right side,
[60:45] his heart rate would either like spike up or go way down. And that he was stressed. And then the nurses were like trying to move me. And it was all this stuff. Her heart rate never got below 130 and never above 140. So she just stayed in this like really comfortable zone.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [61:00] In the zone.
Hilary Duff [61:01] The whole entire time. Yeah, I think people sometimes don't realize that we do monitor the heart rate at home.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [61:07] Oh, yeah. Even in the tub they're monitoring the heart rate.
Hilary Duff [61:10] Yeah, waterproof transducers. Multiple, multiple times. Yeah. And she was just chill in there, doing what she needed to do. And that was so reassuring for me to know that she was just really calm and not stressed. And she came out with a big hug.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [61:25] Yeah, she did. You didn't discuss really publicly that you were going to do a home birth until you did it. And you said that you wanted to have the experience before sharing it. And that you didn't want to be judged, especially before having your experience. Now you've shared more publicly about it. How has the feedback been?
Hilary Duff [61:52] It's been all positive. I think people have more to say when they don't know the ending of the story. You know, to like instill fear. Yeah. To be like, oh, you shouldn't do that, or something like that, you know, to prevent whatever they think might happen. Boy.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [62:15] Hang on.
Hilary Duff [62:16] Sorry. No problem.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [62:22] I'm good. I'm okay. Thank you. So you were saying that, about people judging it, they get more judgy before you have an ending.
Hilary Duff [62:33] Yeah. I think people are just more scared. You know, they aren't used to hearing that people are doing a home birth or anything outside of a hospital. So we definitely told people, you know, we got mixed opinions, but mostly people were like, oh, that's so cool, and you're doing the water, and everything now has been really positive. But we have a healthy, beautiful child, you know, so there's nothing to worry about.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [62:59] It sounds like you had a really cool experience. I mean, the way you describe it is sort of how I think you would have thought it would have gone.
Hilary Duff [63:06] Totally.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [63:07] And like no really big surprises.
Hilary Duff [63:09] No really big surprises at all. And I would totally do it again. Yeah. So I'm so proud of myself. I can't believe I did that. I had the most amazing team. I mean, it's super powerful, and I get to take that with me forever, you know? Oh, gee. By the way, I felt like such an animal in the tub. Like, I mean, there are some big sounds that come out, you know, some like low, growly animal type sounds.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [63:49] Primal.
Hilary Duff [63:50] And my mom was like, afterwards, we were talking like the next day or whatever, she was like, I cannot believe you. You were like a goddess warrior. See? And I was like, wow, I felt like some crazy ass animal. And she's like, no, you were wrong. Like, it was really cool to watch you just do something so big like that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [64:15] And it's also like it's full circle. You went from being afraid to do it at all and wanting to have a cesarean birth, which is totally fine too, to, okay, psychic says I should let the baby choose how he wants to come out and doing the medicated vaginal birth to saying I'm afraid of it, but I want to conquer it. I want to feel this. I don't want to not be fully present. Totally. And then doing it. Just like going for it and doing it.
Hilary Duff [64:45] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [64:46] It's inspiring. I mean, they're all inspiring, but this is just very inspiring. They're all inspiring.
Hilary Duff [64:51] And I think someone asked me like, oh, would you tell other people to have a home birth? And I was like, I think birth is so personal and every experience is so different and everybody is so different. And I would never be like, oh, you have to do it this way. You have to do it this way. This is a very different way. Even though this is the more natural way of how people have been doing it in our world forever, it is challenging and it is different. And I would be an advocate to share all the information that I know and all the contacts if people want to go down this road. But it's a very personal choice. And it's not for everyone, that's for sure.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [65:38] It's not. And it's the whole mission of Informed Pregnancy, of our podcast and all of our other media, is to just provide information, perspective. You can see different people's experiences. You can hear from experts about different topics. But at the end of the day, you're the one who has to have your baby. And so you get to pick. And we have so many different choices and ways to pick on how you want to have your baby and who you want to be supported by. And once you make that informed choice, it's everybody around you who's got to rally behind you and support you.
Hilary Duff [66:06] Totally.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [66:07] Cool. Any final thoughts?
Hilary Duff [66:10] I don't think so.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [66:12] You shared it all.
Hilary Duff [66:13] I shared a lot. I feel just so grateful to everyone that I met along the way that helped get me to the end. And every tidbit of information and every bit of support and encouragement, it was just really cool. And now I get to look at my beautiful baby. And it was really an amazing thing to feel like I was on a team with her. And we were working towards this end goal. And we both did it together.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [66:47] You were already glowy before you started feeding her. But now you're extra glowy. You're just beaming.
Hilary Duff [66:54] Are you sure it's not the diamond that I put on my face that Luca found on the floor today?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [66:58] No, I don't think that's not the diamond. No, you're just really exuding pure happiness. And she sounds pretty happy, too.
Hilary Duff [67:10] Yeah. Wait until she doesn't have the boobs. She's very angry.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [67:16] Well, she's vocal.
Hilary Duff [67:17] Yeah, she is. And she also sounds like a baby lamb. We don't know where it came from. Luca did not sound like this at all. And so I like to blame Matt for it. But he's like, if she's not getting what she wants, she'll be like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [67:37] That's so good.
Hilary Duff [67:38] We want to kind of just let her cry a little bit so we can get it on film.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [67:41] So you can hear it? That's cute. Well, thanks for sharing such a personal story and journey. I know that watching other peoples and listening to other peoples' stories was helpful to you. And I know that you sharing yours will be helpful to other people. So thank you. Happy to be a part of it. Thank you. And at home, thanks for listening to the Informed Pregnancy podcast. If you like our program, please share us with your friends and leave us some feedback in your podcast app. And for more pregnancy and parenting-related media, visit informedpregnancy.com.
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