November 1, 2018 · 62 minutes · Episode 93

About this episode

In this fun and charming interview, very pregnant and super candid Hilary Duff talks about her childhood, career, first pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood experience and why her plans for her impending second birth have taken a significant and exciting turn. Photo by Laura Moll Photography

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Key quotes

“She's like, you should let the baby come out the way he wants to. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. And I was like, of course I should let the baby come out the way he wants to.”

“And I thought to myself that I want to fully get the full experience of what it is to bring a baby into the world and how incredible our bodies are. And my body gave me this incredible little boy, and now I get to have this little girl, and I want to experience it to the fullest, I think.”

“Like I think enduring contractions. And I mentioned this to you once before of not knowing, not being able to put a timeframe on something. You know, not having finite answers of like, this is gonna be eight hours and it's gonna be one of the most challenging things that we've ever done. But in eight hours, it's gonna be over and you're gonna be holding your baby.”

“He's like, Ba, if we go to the hospital and you get an epidural, like so what, you labored at home. And then you're going to the hospital to have your baby. Like there's no failure here. We're going to end up with a baby at the end of this.”

“And I don't think it's anybody's business but my own and my partner's. And I fully plan to share my birth story, but I would like to experience it first.”

Related episodes

• Ep. 165 Carla Baratta – Birth Story
• Ep. 112 Denise Vasi
• Ep. 77 Jackie Seiden Before Birth
• Ep. 188 Joanna Bavero – Birth Story

Transcript

AI-generated transcript with speaker labels — may contain errors, especially names and medical terms. Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC appears in blue; Hilary Duff in orange.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:12] Welcome to the Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Podcast, I'm your host Dr. Elliott Berlin and joining me today is a New York Times bestselling author and she is also a gold and platinum recording artist and has been all over our big and small screens as an award-winning actress for more than 20 years. She's an entrepreneur and philanthropist and six years ago she produced her first human child with a sequel due out any day now. Hillary Duff, welcome to the podcast.

Hilary Duff [0:54] I like that. Got 20 years, that is so scary.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:57] Doesn't that seem like a long time?

Hilary Duff [0:58] Yes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:59] I can't picture you 20 years ago, although you were doing cool stuff.

Hilary Duff [1:04] Unfortunately there's lots of Google images.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:06] Of you 20 years ago?

Hilary Duff [1:07] You can picture me.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:08] I can't picture you.

Hilary Duff [1:09] It's all, there's so much evidence out there.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:11] I'm going to look. I'm super impressed by you and by your very multifaceted career successes and I think I could do a whole episode of how I built this on just that stuff, but we only have about an hour unless your water breaks. Oh my gosh, please.

Hilary Duff [1:27] Please.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:28] If my water could break right now, that would be the coolest trick. It would be the best podcast we have ever done by far. I want to chat primarily about pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. For context, you were born and started growing up in Texas with your older sister and family. When did you move to Los Angeles?

Hilary Duff [1:49] I think I was about 11. We didn't permanently move right away. We came out here with hopes and dreams like everybody else and kind of figured out there's a season for TV shows and there's a commercial season and a movie season and each season lasts when castings are happening for two or three months. We would come out for a couple months at a time and then, sorry, you get a lot of dog licks right here. They rule the roost. We kind of came out and tested the waters and then we would go back to Texas and go back to school and then we would book jobs and it would become more permanent.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:35] How does that work with school if you come for a few months at a time?

Hilary Duff [2:41] At first, the schools were cool with it. My mom was incredibly supportive, which was awesome. Hailey's my sister. She and I really were like dead set on being actors. My mom really listened, which was cool. She was like, well, you give the ice skaters at the school their homework ahead of time. Like, why can't you do it for this? She went to bed for you. She would administer. That worked for a little bit and then it didn't work anymore and then we started being homeschooled with programs like curriculum in Los Angeles.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:24] Together? You and your sister together?

Hilary Duff [3:26] Well, we'd have different curriculums because she's two and a half years older than me, yeah, but there's all kinds of alternative schooling here in California, so we tried quite a few and then when we would book a job, we would have tutors on set.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:40] When you say alternative schooling, is that classrooms that are not traditional school or just one-on-one?

Hilary Duff [3:45] It's alternative schooling because it's built for kids that are going on auditions during the day, but they need three hours of studying and a teacher there to help you through your work.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:00] But is it one-on-one or are you with other kids following their hopes and dreams?

Hilary Duff [4:04] A lot of the times you're with other kids following their hopes and dreams.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:06] Okay, so also you have social interaction, but is that competitive? Are you competing for the same hopes and dreams?

Hilary Duff [4:12] Oh, yeah, seeing all those people at the same auditions.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:15] Oh, right, so your classmates are your competitors. Yeah, but isn't that the same as if you're competing for something in school or soccer or whatever, sports?

Hilary Duff [4:29] A little bit, maybe less intense. Yeah, I think it's how you look at it. I mean, I think my mom helped us have a healthy competitive side without being a jerk about it, like, hey, I really want this job, but if I don't get it, I hope you get it kind of thing. Yeah, it's a cool combo. And by the way, my sister and I would go on the same auditions all the time.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:49] Competing with each other?

Hilary Duff [4:50] Yeah, sometimes the cast and…

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:53] Does that get hard between you?

Hilary Duff [4:56] No. No. We would help each other with our lines instead of be much easier for my mom because she would only have one material and we would work on it together.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:07] That's sweet. And then did that continue all the way through high school?

Hilary Duff [5:14] So I didn't go to high school. I did middle school and then I did a few high school classes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:21] You did middle school the same way?

Hilary Duff [5:23] On set. On set. And then I got my GED and then I was kind of a dropout. Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:31] There you go, kids.

Hilary Duff [5:35] I'm going to have a lot of fun explaining that to my kids someday.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:38] Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people now especially are rethinking how we educate. So it's cool to see that you can go through an alternative route and still be pretty successful. How old were you when you got married?

Hilary Duff [5:54] You know what? That time frame for me is so blurry.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:57] It's a blur?

Hilary Duff [5:58] Yes, but I think I was 22. Okay. Because I was married for a year before I got pregnant and I had Luca at 25.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:05] Were you… I mean, was that early in your mind for getting pregnant or were you friends? I mean, were you married or pregnant?

Hilary Duff [6:13] I think both, but if you think about it, I've had a job since I was 12 years old, like working adult hours and responsibilities and tours across the world. And I think I was just ready for more. You know, I met someone who I really loved and I felt like I needed in my life. And we dated for… How long did we date? I guess I met Mike when I was 19. So yeah, it was really early. I was very young, but I… But a lot had happened. A lot had happened in my life early, you know? Career-wise.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:50] Career-wise.

Hilary Duff [6:51] Because eight years into your career, a lot of people already get married. They're just not 19.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:56] Right. Yeah. And after you got married, were you like, hey, let's have a kid?

Hilary Duff [7:02] I think we both knew we wanted to have kids early on. And we lived in different cities. He was a hockey player. So we weren't together all the time. There'd be months where we'd be visiting each other back and forth. And I'd be here in L.A. And he'd be playing hockey. And then, yeah, we decided together. We were both ready for that.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:27] If you could be in the same city for a minute, it sounds like.

Hilary Duff [7:30] We had to figure that out, yes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:32] I imagine so. A lot of scheduling involved. Is it hard to be married and not really be around your spouse for long periods of the year?

Hilary Duff [7:42] I think being in entertainment and touring most of my adult life, I got really used to having relationships like that.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:52] I guess the technology makes it easier than it used to be.

Hilary Duff [7:55] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:55] And this was like before FaceTime, though, which is really weird. I know. People are going to be listening to this and thinking, there was a time before FaceTime. My kids will freak out. Yeah. What does that mean? When you got pregnant, when did you start thinking, well, how was pregnancy for you? Where were you work-wise at that point?

Hilary Duff [8:23] I was taking time off. So I worked from like 12 to about 20, 21 nonstop.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:37] Slacker.

Hilary Duff [8:38] I know. And so when I met my ex-husband, I was like, I need to just chill. I'm really happy. I've done so much. But I need to just take a moment and enjoy what I've worked so hard for and figure out what my next moves are, who I am as an adult now, how to make decisions on my own. I learned that I love to cook. I learned that I loved interior design. Like there was all this stuff that…

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:13] Really? Well, that explains my house.

Hilary Duff [9:15] There was all these like hobbies that I was like, oh, I have things that I like and that I enjoy outside. I love knitting.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:23] Really?

Hilary Duff [9:23] Yeah. So yeah, I took a big break. And during that time was when I got pregnant and I had a really smooth pregnancy. And I was a little scared because I knew no one who was pregnant. Not one of my friends had a baby. I had like never been around a newborn before.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:42] Babies?

Hilary Duff [9:43] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:45] First of all, all of those things that you mentioned are like, I feel like they're all just different mediums of art. Right. Cooking is one form of art and interior design, knitting. You're just an artist. You're exploding with art. So you're pregnant, but you don't have any friends who are pregnant. And how was it? I mean, it's a big change when, you know, first of all, traveling all over the place and working so hard. And then when you were pregnant, you were just not traveling around?

Hilary Duff [10:13] Right.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [10:14] Do you remember what that was like for you?

Hilary Duff [10:17] I didn't just get pregnant and then stop working. I had kind of been like on my, I don't want to work and make big decisions right now. I want to like chill and enjoy my life. And then I got pregnant. And then it was, we decided to move homes. So that was kind of a project for me.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [10:34] Together?

Hilary Duff [10:35] Uh-huh. And then, I don't know, it was a hard, I had an easy pregnancy with the sweetest baby who didn't give me a hard day, but I, you know, throughout the whole entire thing. But I remember being like, this is, like, I don't, I had to work really hard to make an effort with new people and like get involved in classes and stuff like that. Just a different community than you were a part of before. Yeah. I mean, all my friends were like partying and like hitting the clubs and stuff. Different.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:07] Yeah. Do you remember how you found out you were pregnant?

Hilary Duff [11:12] Yes. So I knew I was pregnant the second it happened. I was like, that was the time. Wow. Yeah. And we were going on a trip to Europe. And I remember taking the test like a week after feeling so different in my body, feeling bloated, feeling tired, like really, really tired. I felt like I had this pull and like this like tug in my tummy. And I was, I don't know if it was all mental or what, but I was like, I know I'm pregnant. And it was too early to say. So the test was negative when we were in Europe. And he was like, he's like, you think you're pregnant 12 times a year. You're always worried that you're pregnant.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:05] Had you been trying for a while?

Hilary Duff [12:07] We had been trying, but I told you we were living in different cities.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:09] Oh, right.

Hilary Duff [12:09] So it made it really tough. Yeah. So we had been trying, but we weren't like stressing trying. And then I came home and I was like, I know. I still have the feeling. And I took the test and it was positive. And I got to go rub it in and be like, I don't think so. But it is wild to look at the test. And you're like, oh, how did I do that? It's kind of scary. You know, you spend your whole adult life being like, I can't get pregnant. I can't get pregnant. I can't get pregnant. And then you're pregnant. You're pregnant. You're like, oh my God, that's how it works.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:50] It's a change forever.

Hilary Duff [12:51] Yes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:52] It's a big moment. How about birth? When did you start thinking about birth and how you'd want to bring the baby into the world?

Hilary Duff [13:03] Well, I was terrified to give birth. I was really scared. I think my closest person in my life is my sister. And she's two and a half years older than me. She hadn't become a mom yet. And I was dead set on finding out a way to have a C-section.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:24] Oh, really? I mean, why? What about it?

Hilary Duff [13:28] I think I just hadn't. Well, one, like I said, I didn't know anyone who had had any of my peers that had had babies yet. And the thought of-

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:38] Right, but they didn't have vaginal births or cesarean births.

Hilary Duff [13:42] What do you mean?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:42] Obviously, you had no familiarity with any way of giving birth.

Hilary Duff [13:47] Yes, I think just the thought of a baby going through my vagina terrified me.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:50] Yeah. OK, that's fair enough. I bet a lot of people feel that way.

Hilary Duff [13:54] Yes. Yeah, it still terrifies me. And I've already done it before. But I had a change of heart about maybe midway through my pregnancy. I mentioned this to you, that I saw a psychic. And I love her. She's funny, and I tend to see her twice a year. And she was like, are you ready for this? And I said, I think so. The room's prepared, and blah, blah, blah. She's like, no, no, no. Are you ready to have your baby? And do you realize the weight of this and what's happening to your life? And I was like, oh, well, I'm having a C-section, and blah, blah, blah. We talked on a deep level about how it's going to change my life and how excited I was for it, but not the process of how

[14:45] the baby was going to get out. And she's like, I told her I had to have a scheduled C-section. And she's like, has the baby given you a hard time? Has it been a hard pregnancy? And I was like, no. He's been a perfect angel. I haven't had one acre pain. I haven't been sick. It's been great. She's like, you should let the baby come out the way he wants to. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. And I was like, of course I should let the baby come out the way he wants to. And I had a great experience.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:22] How far was that from your due date?

Hilary Duff [15:25] Probably three or four months.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:27] OK, so you had a little time. You had a little time to plan for it. Once you had that shift, did you read books, take a class, watch a video? Did you do other things to prepare for it? Like, you said you had this fear. How did you address the fear?

Hilary Duff [15:46] I didn't have the same desires as I do now for this kind of experience I'm looking to have for my second child. I definitely did research. I wanted to have my baby in a hospital. And I chose to have an epidural. And I knew that I was going to have an epidural. And I talked to enough people and my doctor and friends I had started to make that had kids already. And decided I need to labor at home as long as I can before I feel like it's time to go. But I never thought about home birth or absolute natural childbirth.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [16:32] How did your labor start?

Hilary Duff [16:34] Just kind of one random night. I ate a big spicy bowl of ramen. And I like to think that that sent me into labor. My neighbors, I was taking so many walks. And one of my neighbors was like, still, that baby, you haven't had that baby still. And she's like, you should go to have this bowl of ramen down the street. And I'm like, get in the car, let's go. And yeah, it happened that night at around midnight. I went into labor on my own. I was four weeks and 40 days. Four weeks and no. I mean, sorry, 40 days and four weeks. No, 40 weeks and four days. God help me, I'm very pregnant right now.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:16] You're super pregnant.

Hilary Duff [17:17] 40 weeks and four days pregnant.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:21] Was there any mistake that that was labor?

Hilary Duff [17:24] No.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:24] You knew right away, just like you knew you were pregnant. This is labor.

Hilary Duff [17:28] Yeah. I didn't feel a single Braxton Hicks before that. Or I didn't have some, we need to go to the hospital and then they send you back home, none of that.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:39] Were you more excited when it started or nervous?

Hilary Duff [17:41] I was so excited.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:42] You were excited. So you got over the fear.

Hilary Duff [17:45] I did. I mean, doesn't every woman, once that you've been pregnant for 40 weeks, you're like, get this thing out of me. I don't like, I think being uncomfortable and wanting to meet your baby so bad takes over. And you have the psychic. And I have the psychic. I do think I'm a very intuitive person. And I just had this overwhelming feeling that everything was going to go great. And I have it this time around too, even though I'm a little more nervous for this experience. And I have to say, everything went great with him.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [18:19] Did you labor at home for a while?

Hilary Duff [18:21] I did labor for about three and a half hours. And I did my hair during that time too.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [18:26] Multitasker.

Hilary Duff [18:27] I was like bored. I'm pacing up and down the hallway and I might as well try to have cute hair for this process.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [18:37] How was your transition to motherhood after the birth?

Hilary Duff [18:41] It was wonderful. I mean, it was a lot of big feelings. I felt like I knew that this was meant to be my big job. Not job, because I guess motherhood is a job, but I always knew I wanted to be a mom. And at a very young age, and I felt so ready for it. And I felt so excited to have Luca. And everything just kind of happened the way it was supposed to. And nothing big or scary happened. I do remember feeling a little bit alone, just with my baby, me and him. We're this unit, and we're going to figure everything out. But he was a good baby. Really good baby.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:22] It's really sweet to watch you with him.

Hilary Duff [19:25] I don't know what I did with my time before I had him.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:29] Yeah, I remember that feeling.

Hilary Duff [19:31] I love him so much. I just can look at his face and tears just come to my eyes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:36] You both light up when you look at each other. And you just look like you're having so much fun.

Hilary Duff [19:42] He has made this journey so much fun. I'm honestly, I have that feeling of like, I hope I can love my second, I know it's so cliche and everybody says it. I hope I can love my second baby as much as I love him.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:55] Yeah, I remember feeling that way even about my kids.

Hilary Duff [19:59] And you're four deep.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:00] No, yeah, we're four deep, I think. So how does that work out?

Hilary Duff [20:04] It just works.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:05] Are you sure? Yeah. Right away? Yeah, right away it's a little, it's a little juggle, you know. For us it was a little juggle that the second one came out and our oldest was two and he was all over the little baby girl we had. And I just remember, I think it was about seven or eight days after she was born. And my sister-in-law was holding her and she was fussy and we tried all sorts of things to calm her down and then she wouldn't calm down and she says, okay, I'm going to hand you to your mommy and then she gave her to my wife and I saw my two-year-old see that and a light bulb went off in his head. He's like, wait a second, that's my mommy.

[20:49] And then he turned really evil for like two months. He did. He did, he kept trying to like see if he can get the eyeball out of her socket. You couldn't leave him alone. You can't, it's in there pretty good. I know that because he tried a lot of times. If they were ever alone she'd have scratches on her face, like your little angel, my little angel became this little devil. You think Luca could be capable of that?

Hilary Duff [21:11] I don't know, he's older. I'm not sure, he's older.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [21:13] So probably he'll still have big feelings about it but he's better able to express them than he doesn't have to grab her eyeball.

Hilary Duff [21:20] Yeah, I really hope he tries to leave her eyeballs alone. Because he's sick so he should be able to control that. I will tell you a funny thing that happened yesterday that's giving me a little bit of anxiety but I have to tell you and you probably are like, yeah, no, my son's the sweetest thing ever too but he's so good inside. Luca's all good and so kind and so caring about and so tender with other people's feelings but yesterday we went out to dinner. My boyfriend, Luca and I, and they're super tight and he completely understands the dynamic and knows that Matt is this little one's dad and he obviously lives here and whatever. So I'm like, you know, your sister's bringing you a Lego

[22:10] so you should probably, maybe let's do something for her and he's like, oh, I'll make her a picture. And I'm like, that's such a good idea, like a welcome card. And he's like, yeah, like a welcome card. So we're at the table and I've brought some markers for him and paper and he draws this little tiny baby with one little brown hair on top and all of a sudden. And there's lots of talks, he's very curious about what she's gonna look like, right? Because he knows that, well, his dad has brown hair and Matt has brown hair but he has blonde hair and I have the blonde hair. He's like, but the baby, I'm like, she could have brown hair, we don't like,

[22:46] no one knows these things, you know? So he draws her, she has green eyes, she has one brown hair and then all of a sudden this big hammer, right? It's like coming down on the baby and I'm like, oh, oh, oh, things have. Things have taken a turn. Things have taken a turn. And he looks at me and he's like kind of smiling mischievously and he's like, I'm not done yet. I'm not done with my picture yet. And he's super into action superheroes and stuff like that right now and drawing his own comics and stuff. And so he flips the paper around and then he draws a baby and he makes her completely green and then the hammer is shattered. So he turned her into the Hulk

[23:31] and she shattered the hammer. And I was like, you just redeemed yourself because we were about to have a big talk.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:40] I'm sure we'll have big feelings but he has more ways to express than scratching and pulling an eyeball. Yeah. Who came to your first birth?

Hilary Duff [23:52] My mother and my sister.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:54] We are gonna take a quick commercial break, don't go anywhere, we'll be right back.

Hilary Duff [24:12] And then obviously my.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:14] Was that the first time your sister was at a birth?

Hilary Duff [24:17] Yep.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:19] And were they helpful for you?

Hilary Duff [24:21] Yeah, I think my mom was helpful for me because she's my mom. Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:26] You were at her birth.

Hilary Duff [24:28] I was at her birth. She had two C-sections. My sister was born with a short cord. So she labored for a long, long, long, long, long time.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:37] Oh, it wouldn't come down?

Hilary Duff [24:38] Yeah, and the baby wouldn't come down so she had a C-section and then I was just a C-section after that.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:48] This brings you a perfectly round head.

Hilary Duff [24:54] My sister was like holding my knee and like helping me the whole time. She was amazing.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:59] That's awesome.

Hilary Duff [25:00] And my mom was kind of like hanging back and looking at me like National Geographic. I can't believe my youngest daughter is doing this.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:08] Well, it has to be a mind-blowing thing. And especially her experience was so different also.

Hilary Duff [25:13] Yes. So she was supportive and I think it's just always nice to have your mom there, you know? It's like comforting and loving but she was like, oh my God.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:25] It's gotta be crazy to see your kid at your birth.

Hilary Duff [25:28] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:29] How soon after you had Luca did you go back to work?

Hilary Duff [25:36] Not for a while. I didn't actually get a job until he was almost two. So I worked, I did some charity stuff

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:46] and you kept busy?

Hilary Duff [25:49] I always keep busy, but I didn't have to show up to work for anything.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:54] That's really nice to have the flexibility. Or did you do anything specific to get your postnatal health? Were you doing workouts or specific nutrition?

Hilary Duff [26:08] Mm-hmm, I wasn't really dieting. I'm a pretty healthy person, but I- Generally. I'm generally healthy. I indulge when I want to. Mm-hmm. And-

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [26:21] We're like opposites. Are you really? I'm generally indulgent, but I can be healthy if I want to, you know, once in a while.

Hilary Duff [26:28] You have it so much. You have it figured out. That's the way to do it. I'm going to try your plan for a minute. You know what? I was one of those people that didn't lose a single pound when I was nursing.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [26:40] Oh really?

Hilary Duff [26:41] No, I just, my body held onto, I think just wanting to like keep my milk supply up. I didn't, and I was, I had obviously started like exercising when I was allowed to, and this has been a totally different experience this time around than the first time. But when I stopped nursing, I lost all my weight.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:03] Oh, but that's, I mean, people say that.

Hilary Duff [27:05] It's just different for everyone. Yeah, but I wanted to be one of those people that started nursing and it was just falling off of me.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:10] The baby sucks it right out of you?

Hilary Duff [27:12] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:12] I mean, I see people that actually lose so much weight, they just, they look like they're having trouble. Yeah. And then as soon as they stop nursing, they can gain it back. But then I see, with our patients also, the same thing that you experienced.

Hilary Duff [27:25] Oh, I feel so bad for those people. I boxed. I ran up and down this hill that I live on and I boxed, so.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:33] It's a pretty steep hill. I had trouble driving up that hill. Was nursing difficult?

Hilary Duff [27:41] I, he latched on right away, which was great. You know what, that's how my mom helped me. You just helped me remember something really lovely.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:50] I'm so glad I can help.

Hilary Duff [27:51] My mom helped me figure out, my mom grabbed my boob at the hospital. I was like, here is how you do it.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:57] Wow.

Hilary Duff [27:58] Yeah, and that, and it was. And I had no idea, I mean, I had like read and watched and, but you just don't know how to do this. These things are so hard. It's a learning curve.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:08] Yeah. Also, you point out something really interesting. Like a hundred years ago, which is not that long ago in history, we kind of lived with our families and villages and you were always around pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding. And so you didn't necessarily really need lactation consultants and doulas and night nurses. So that's kind of like what happened for you. Your mother, she had experience with it. She saw you needed a little help and she was there.

Hilary Duff [28:33] Totally. And, and it was amazing. The thing I told you, I was like, everything kind of just worked out was like, my sister was really there for me during the birth, during that whole process of like the pushing and the whatever, you know. And then my mom helped me nurse. Like that everyone kind of had a role and it was really quite lovely. And then Luca came home and he had jaundice. Like the doctor called me and was like, actually he's really has high levels of bilirubin or whatever, you know, and he needs to be on the light. And I'm like, I don't even think I stayed at the hospital for 24 hours after I had him. So there was a little bit of a like curve

[29:16] once we got home for the nursing thing, but we got back on track. It was just the first three weeks were so painful.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:24] I mean, most of our first time moms, I would say most of them say that there's at least one or two times where they feel like I'm going to quit. I'm not going to do this.

Hilary Duff [29:35] Yeah, for sure. And then they get help or they plow through it and then it becomes easy for most of them. And it did become easy and I loved it, but there was definitely tears. And I mean, they baby shark your nipples and you're like, I am going to die. It's going to fall off. Like this feels horrible.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:56] That made me have tears.

Hilary Duff [29:58] What?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:59] That made me have tears.

Hilary Duff [30:02] But then it was not, you know, I nursed him for seven months and that was enough for me. And then we were done.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:08] It's kind of amazing that your body takes a sperm and an egg that you can't even see and grows a full size human child out of it. And then you figure out how to bring it through your body into the world one way or another. And then you fricking make food for it. It's just incredible.

Hilary Duff [30:26] By the way, you make food for it for as long as you're asking your body to make food for it. Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:32] It's totally weird. No matter what you eat, like if you have my diet or your diet, you still make food for it. It's incredible. I'm blown away by it and I've been doing this for a long time. So as we record this now, Luca is six and you're expecting a girl. You're in the zone, that 37 to 42 week zone, the window known as term, and you're getting close. I just sort of said you had a sign this morning.

Hilary Duff [30:55] So Dr. B, how do you think my general attitude is?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:59] I think it's great. Tell the truth. You can tell everybody. Well, let's see as we continue to talk about this birth because it's a different plan. But what's really amazing about you is you say what's on your mind. You say what's in your heart. You say how you're feeling. So whatever your attitude is, you're not lettering. Feeling frustrated. Are you feeling frustrated?

Hilary Duff [31:20] No, I'm feeling like I want to control the situation.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:24] You want to control. Like that's your thing.

Hilary Duff [31:27] Not normally. I'm telling you, I'm not a total control freak, but right now I'm over it.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:33] Well, my sense of you is if there's something big in front of you to do, you look at what has to be done, size it up, figure out what you have to do, and get it done.

Hilary Duff [31:43] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:44] You can't fully do that here. You sort of have to like lay back.

Hilary Duff [31:48] That's why I'm frustrated.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:49] I know, that's why you're frustrated. I used the term control freak with you before, but I don't really mean control freak in that way. I just mean surrender is not your strong point. Right. So, and it comes in handy here. So, how's pregnancy been the second time? How'd you find out you were pregnant this time?

Hilary Duff [32:10] The same way I found out the first time.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:11] You knew right away?

Hilary Duff [32:12] I knew right away.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:13] Like, oh, we just did it.

Hilary Duff [32:15] Yep. I was like, that's the time.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:17] That's crazy.

Hilary Duff [32:18] Yeah, it's weird. I get symptoms so fast. Wow.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:25] And you took a test.

Hilary Duff [32:27] And it was negative.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:29] Same thing.

Hilary Duff [32:29] On Valentine's Day.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:30] Oh, really? But you still knew.

Hilary Duff [32:33] I knew.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:33] You're like, the test is wrong.

Hilary Duff [32:35] Yeah, my boyfriend and I were moving to New York. I shoot a show in New York for four months out of the year. Yeah. And I had been there doing promo for a week. He flew out for one day for Valentine's Day. I thought we were gonna be apart for Valentine's Day. He flew out to New York just to like take me out to dinner and then we were just gonna fly home together. And then we were coming back the following week because I was gonna start shooting and he was gonna start making a record. And I took the test on Valentine's Day. It said no. We were both kind of bummed out but we were like, oh, we'll try again. But I knew. And I took a test a week later.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:10] And you were not together.

Hilary Duff [33:12] What do you mean? A week later. A week later, we.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:16] You're in separate cities.

Hilary Duff [33:19] No, he lives in New York with me.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:21] Oh, he was there with you.

Hilary Duff [33:22] Yes, because he is making his record.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:24] Got it. So you took the test and that was positive.

Hilary Duff [33:28] And that was my first day of work. And he was making an EP and he had like set up a studio in our apartment. So I had like a later call time that day. Like usually my call time to like 5.30 and my call time was like seven. And so I was like. We're talking about in the morning.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:47] Yeah. Wow, you start early.

Hilary Duff [33:48] Yeah, and I work like 16 hour days sometimes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:51] That's crazy talk.

Hilary Duff [33:52] So we were like, I'm like, I gotta take another test because I just feel different. I hadn't even missed my period yet or had I missed my period. Maybe I was like a day late. Like nothing to stress about.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:05] Okay, well that's your control freaky.

Hilary Duff [34:07] There you go again. Damn it, I'm pegged. We took a test. No, we walked to Starbucks. We talked about taking another test. Came home, took the test, was positive. And then I had to go to work. And he was like, how can I go to work all day? And he's like, how can you leave me here all day with my shock and feelings?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:28] Our life just changed forever, but 16 hours later. I thought for sure you were gonna say you took the test in the Starbucks bathroom.

Hilary Duff [34:36] No, but you know what? I have a really sweet friend who had trouble getting pregnant the second time. And she has a son, Luca's age. She took the test at Ralph's. She started to take all the women at Ralph's, started to like cheer for her and root for her and just start begging her to take the test in the bathroom there. And every time she would be like, no, no, no. And then finally she came out and she was like, yes, and everyone in Ralph's cheered for her.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:59] Did she name the baby Ralph?

Hilary Duff [35:01] Mm-hmm.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:05] How's pregnancy been the second time around?

Hilary Duff [35:07] It's been a dream again.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:09] Same, easy for you.

Hilary Duff [35:11] Not really, morning sickness, no crazy aches or pains. No morning sickness. A little low back pain, but that's under control. Yeah, I mean, I'm a little achy and I have some, you know what? It always gets me in the beginning is I'm so tired.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:25] Oh, the energy level.

Hilary Duff [35:26] And that was hard for me because I was working those crazy hours.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:31] Oh yeah, so you, is your character, did your character get ran as pregnant?

Hilary Duff [35:38] No, no, no.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:39] But you were only, you shoot for four months, right?

Hilary Duff [35:42] So I didn't start showing.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:43] Yeah, but you were low energy. I mean, it's hard to picture 16 hour workday.

Hilary Duff [35:50] Yeah, in heels, tight fashion clothes was the worst. That just made it harder for me to picture myself doing that. It was already hard being pregnant with low energy.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:02] In your fashion clothes.

Hilary Duff [36:03] Yeah, in my heels.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:06] Do you get cravings during your pregnancies?

Hilary Duff [36:14] I craved a lot of salt with Luca. I'm such a salty girl.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:18] Really?

Hilary Duff [36:19] Mm-hmm. But I did internet research, no bell peppers. Did you know what happened to me after I gave birth to Luca?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:27] What, you're back on bell peppers?

Hilary Duff [36:28] All I wanted was bell, I have wanted to touch a bell pepper my whole entire life.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:31] Really?

Hilary Duff [36:32] And the second I gave birth to Luca, I was like, all I wanted was raw bell peppers, grilled bell peppers.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:37] Like making up for lost time?

Hilary Duff [36:39] Like an animal. Just find it.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:41] Wow, what about now?

Hilary Duff [36:42] Love them.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:43] You still love bell peppers?

Hilary Duff [36:43] Love them.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:45] That's so freaky.

Hilary Duff [36:46] Isn't that weird?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:47] What a strange twist.

Hilary Duff [36:47] I know. I think they're God's gift to earth.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:50] I know what they bring you.

Hilary Duff [36:52] Just peppers, please. I love bell peppers. I used to hate them so much. And then this time around, I'm not really a sugar person, and I've wanted a lot of sugar.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:02] Oh, really?

Hilary Duff [37:03] And I read that, I read that's like very common with girls, so not an exciting pregnancy over here.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:09] Well, it's still exciting. So we've been sort of alluding to you change your birth plan this time around.

Hilary Duff [37:15] Mm-hmm.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:16] Tell me more about that.

Hilary Duff [37:20] Oh, how did I change my birth plan? How did that happen?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:24] Did your change in come before you got pregnant, or once you were already pregnant?

Hilary Duff [37:31] It happened after I got pregnant, but still in my first trimester. I just started thinking that I wanted a different experience, and I wanted, I'm older now. I love motherhood more than anything. It just, I never thought it would be this way. I never thought I could be so happy and so fulfilled, and it would be, and I don't, it's not easy, because being a parent is not easy, but it's just a joy. And I thought to myself that I want to fully get the full experience of what it is to bring a baby into the world and how incredible our bodies are. And my body gave me this incredible little boy, and now I get to have this little girl, and I want to experience it to the fullest, I think.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:35] And so what plan did you come up with?

Hilary Duff [38:37] Having a home birth, a natural, drug-free home birth.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:41] And you've been on that plan with a midwife since the first trimester?

Hilary Duff [38:46] I, no. I was traveling so much. I told you I was working in New York, and I live here in LA, and my son goes to school, and started first grade.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:00] In LA?

Hilary Duff [39:02] Yeah, and so that was, sorry, he was ending kindergarten, but he goes to a private school, I can't pull him out, so I was traveling home almost every single weekend.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:14] So you're working in New York, and then come home on Hopping on a plane Friday night. Weekends, and you're pregnant, and you're working crazy hours in heels.

Hilary Duff [39:21] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:22] It's a dedicated mom.

Hilary Duff [39:23] I mean, I can't not see my kid. Of course.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:26] I'm trying to picture it's such a, it's a lot.

Hilary Duff [39:30] You know, the flight attendants on JetBlue all got to know me so well that they would, I'd fall asleep in my chair before the plane would take off, and I would wake up, and they would have reclined my chair for me, which was so sweet, because they were like, finally, what do you do, why do you fly so much, and blah, blah, blah. It was really, really sweet.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:51] I got to try JetBlue.

Hilary Duff [39:52] It's great. So I was having the normal experience with my regular doctor, because I felt comfortable with him.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:59] We are going to take a quick commercial break. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

Hilary Duff [40:17] And I knew I just needed to get home. Like, I needed to just get through it. But really, in your first trimester, you're not, like, visiting the doctor that much, yeah. So then I, we, you know, I talked to Matt about home birth, and like, wanting to have that experience, and I, you know which documentary I watched.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [40:34] You watched The Business of Being Born.

Hilary Duff [40:35] I sure did.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [40:36] It's the one that gets everybody.

Hilary Duff [40:37] It got me good. Damn, Ricky Lake.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [40:41] Well, hold on a second. This is his first child.

Hilary Duff [40:44] Yes.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [40:46] How did he feel when you brought up home birth?

Hilary Duff [40:48] You know what? He was amazing. He's, he was, you know, he had some questions, and he was like, let me go and do some research, but I support you, and I, he kind of has this whole very relaxed, I don't want to say relaxed, because he is, he does a lot of research, and he likes to be informed, but he has been so supportive, and like, I'm here with you, and if this is what you think, like, he has that vibe of like, everything's going to be okay, too. He's just very, like, positive and supportive.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:31] Not so controlling. I'm just wondering if Albus is a trap, is all I'm saying.

Hilary Duff [41:36] Um, he's controlling in the same way as I am, like with work or, you know, wanting to control elements of life, but knowing when to like, hang back and kind of like, let other things take over. Does that make sense?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:52] Yeah, completely. It sounds like a good balance.

Hilary Duff [41:55] We are a good balance.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:57] What, how would you compare your midwifery care versus your obstetric care experiences?

Hilary Duff [42:06] So we met with a few midwives, and kind of, you know, started flirting with this idea, and we're both not super, we're spiritual people, we're not, we're not religious people. We have faith, you know, but it's not, like, we don't go to church, and we were a little scared by being too, like, into this, I don't want to offend anyone, because, like, it seems all very hippy-dippy.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [42:37] Yeah, it really does. Look, I always thought you had to be like, a tree-hucking, vegan, prehistoric hippy to have a home birth. I really, when I first heard about it, I thought, oh, that's these, the extreme hippy people that do that. But now, it's like, in my career, I've met so many people, doctors, obstetrician who had a home birth with a midwife. So, you know, just very, what I would consider, like, much more in the middle, in terms of hippy versus non-hippy.

Hilary Duff [43:06] You mean yourself?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:07] Myself, too. Oh, for what I observed. And then we had a home birth, also. And I never, you know, I never pictured us having home birth.

Hilary Duff [43:18] So, we were a little, we had, like, a lot of different experiences, like, oh, okay, that's a little too far over there for us. Okay, that's a little, maybe, like, we want somewhere in the middle. And so, we finally found that. And I lost track of what your question was.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:35] Your midwiffic care, how has your?

Hilary Duff [43:37] Oh, it's been, when we finally found who we wanted, which was Beth, who was so lovely, we left our appointment, we were like, oh, my God, well, we just sat. I had a meeting with her that wasn't too long, it was probably an hour, and said more words to her than I ever said to my OB, you know? It's a different experience, it's a lot more, there's a lot more, like, open communication and dialogue and a comforting feeling.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [44:08] If you could picture your birth, if you could direct it, how would you want it to go?

Hilary Duff [44:17] I would like to be milling around my house, still involved, still doing things, still, you know, popping in and out with Luca, maybe going for a walk in the neighborhood, throwing the ball for the dog, making a snack, maybe watching something on TV. Like, I just, like, picture myself kind of being busy and working through, you know, whatever the process is gonna put in, whatever the process is that's in front of me. And I can then see myself maybe being alone for a bit in my room with Matt. Maybe without Matt for a little bit, I don't know. I'm thinking of that elephant that you showed me. Yeah, we watched an elephant birth. It's called Risky Business on YouTube.

[45:09] I tend to go inward when I'm figuring something out. And he notices it in me a lot, which is funny, because we have a really great way of communicating. But he'll be like, hey, are you in there? And he knows that I just need, I need to like hash some stuff out, you know, and I need to do that alone a lot. And I feel like maybe during this process that might happen a few times. And then I really, my hopes and dreams are to give birth in the tub.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [45:46] Yeah, have you now watched more births or water births? Have you been to anybody else's births?

Hilary Duff [45:53] I have not. I've been to my sister's birth in the hospital.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [45:57] Okay, never been to a home birth?

Hilary Duff [45:59] No.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:00] Have you watched videos of home births?

Hilary Duff [46:01] Yes, many.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:03] And?

Hilary Duff [46:04] You know what, some really move me. And some of them I'm just, I mean, like taken by. And some of them scare me. And I mean, there's some where the women look so calm and they're just handling what's in front of them. And then the other ones, you know, I'm just not as affected by, I think.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:36] How did you get the house ready?

Hilary Duff [46:39] Oh my gosh, it's been a lot of work. That is kind of one nice thing about the hospital. You kind of just go with your bag and they're like, have everything that you need. This is, you know, I mean. Oh, people compared to eating at a restaurant versus. Oh, people compared to eating at a restaurant versus, you know, cooking a meal and eating and.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [46:58] Then having to deal with the dishes and all that.

Hilary Duff [47:00] Yeah, exactly. I have, I mean, you know, you saw the Rubbermaid containers upstairs with everything. It is nice to have an organized midwife who tells me all the supplies I'm going to need. But, you know, we sterilized everything in the oven and bought new sheets. Who knows, what if I don't want to be in the bathtub? We're prepared for that too. You never know. You have options. Yeah, but there's also, you know, I made the board that I showed you upstairs.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:31] The vision board.

Hilary Duff [47:32] The vision board.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:33] It's beautiful.

Hilary Duff [47:34] Thank you.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:35] There's so many good images on there.

Hilary Duff [47:36] Thank you. It's a work in progress. Yeah, there's still a little space on there.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [47:40] Yeah. And you might have a couple of days left. Sorry. What are your fears?

Hilary Duff [47:54] I guess just that I can't do it. That I'm not, I don't even like to put that out there because I know that I'm powerful and I know that I don't have much to compare this to. Like there's been so many challenges in my life that I've had to be brave for. And there's been with my personal life or with work. And I've navigated it and I figured it out and I've done things that I didn't think that I was capable of. And I know that this will be a similar experience but when there's pain involved, it scares me. It really scares me. Like I think enduring contractions. And I mentioned this to you once before of not knowing, not being able to put a timeframe on something.

[48:47] You know, not having finite answers of like, this is gonna be eight hours and it's gonna be one of the most challenging things that we've ever done. But in eight hours, it's gonna be over and you're gonna be holding your baby. That's not like, that's not the truth.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [49:02] Right, the most specific we can get is this is not gonna go on forever. Right, that's tough.

Hilary Duff [49:06] That's not as like concrete for me to hold on to.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [49:09] Well, it's like a marathon. Marathons are hard and it's a part physical and part psychological. But it's, you know, it's 26 miles. So if you run six, you know, you have 20 to go. Birth is like a marathon but we're not telling you how long it is.

Hilary Duff [49:23] That equation doesn't really always work for my brain.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [49:27] Well, I'm not saying, I'm saying that's why it's challenging for you the way your mind operates. If I told you to, you had to run a marathon and I will tell you when it's over. You know, it's very hard to.

Hilary Duff [49:38] I think I'm not as scared of like the pushing part. I think once that is in front of you in every video I've watched, women are so ready to push. It's just that instinctual part that takes over. I think it's gonna be the enduring, the contractions that scare me the most.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:00] Who's coming to this birth?

Hilary Duff [50:02] Matt, obviously. Luca wants to be here. He doesn't wanna be in the room when it happens, which I totally understand. But he wants to help do the well baby check, which is awesome. My sister, my mom, there's three midwives on my birthing team. I have an amazing doula named Daisy who's going to be here. Yeah, and I might be sending you a text begging you to come.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:31] I will come with the ramen bowl.

Hilary Duff [50:32] And the four dogs. And I think that'll be it. Sounds like enough.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [50:39] Yeah, sounds like a full house. Yeah, I mean you surrounded yourself with a really cool team of very seasoned people and just really soulful people who are book smart and street smart. And I think that they're, if you have any kind of trouble finding your own strength and your own ability to surrender and feel safe, you've really surrounded yourself with people who will help you do that.

Hilary Duff [51:08] I really feel confident that that's the truth. And I know you've had experiences with all of them. And I mean, I only hear amazing things. So I'm really looking forward to my own experience. And I know everything will go exactly the way that it's supposed to.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:27] Do you have a medical backup plan if you want it or need it?

Hilary Duff [51:31] I do.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:33] So if you end up going there, because when I said what's your fear, your fear was what if I can't do it? If you end up going there, let's say it just overwhelms you and you're tired or exhausted and you just want to go get an epidural. Will that be a downer for you?

Hilary Duff [51:52] I think I will feel like I failed.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [51:54] Yeah, I don't see it that way at all.

Hilary Duff [51:56] You don't? I think I will feel like I failed, but I have to tell you that I have the sweetest partner on the planet Earth who's like, he calls me Ba. He's like, Ba, if we go to the hospital and you get an epidural, like so what, you labored at home. And then you're going to the hospital to have your baby. Like there's no failure here. We're going to end up with a baby at the end of this. You just labored at home and then we went to the hospital.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [52:21] See, I have this thought that nobody should suffer in childbirth today, right? Pain is one thing, but suffering is another thing. So if you're in pain and you can surrender and relax into it, great. Sometimes you relax so much it doesn't seem that painful. Sometimes it's pleasurable, I've seen that, where it's a mix of pain and pleasure or just pressure. But suffering's different. Suffering is when your mind goes to a bad place where you have a negative emotional reaction and it's just a mix of pain.

Hilary Duff [52:49] I don't think that I, I don't think I'm going to suffer and I have this very calm feeling that everything's going to go, like nothing's going to go wrong with me, with the baby. I don't have that kind of fear that like, oh my God, we're at home. We're not at a hospital. There's no doctor here. I don't have those fears. I have the fear of how I'm going to endure the pain. Like I don't like to be in pain. I don't like to be uncomfortable.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:16] I think you're going to kick it.

Hilary Duff [53:18] Cool.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:19] I thought you were going to be a G.

Hilary Duff [53:20] Cool. Did I use that right?

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:22] Yes, you did. I'm so proud of you.

Hilary Duff [53:24] Actually, it's different than the way you use it. I think goddess.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:27] Goddess, I'll take it. That's my G. It's still a G. Yeah, G for goddess. All right, a couple more questions. Time has flown by. You haven't really discussed your home birth plans publicly. Was that deliberate?

Hilary Duff [53:45] Yes, absolutely.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [53:47] Why?

Hilary Duff [53:49] I don't really want to, I mean, if you think about how long I've been in the public eye for, everyone has an opinion on everything I do. And I don't think it's anybody's business but my own and my partner's. And I fully plan to share my birth story, but I would like to experience it first.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:09] That's fair enough.

Hilary Duff [54:10] Yeah, and I don't want to hear people's opinions. It's like sharing your baby name, you know? I've told a lot of friends, obviously, that we're having a home birth, and I'd say the majority of the reaction is very positive and other people are totally sketched out by it.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:28] And the people who are sketched out by it, do they try to talk you out of it?

Hilary Duff [54:31] Some people. Yeah. Or there's just like a blanket of judgment happening that is apparent. Yeah. I mean, people have pretty strong feelings about it. And that's fine, but I'm not interested in the public making comments on my Instagram.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:48] Oh yeah, that's fair.

Hilary Duff [54:48] You know? Stories about what they believe because they can have their own children in the way that they want.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [54:55] I mean, is it hard to be pregnant in the public?

Hilary Duff [54:57] Oh yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm followed by paparazzi every day. And I'm this pregnant. Like, it's horrible. I hate it.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [55:11] I'm sorry.

Hilary Duff [55:12] You know, for the most part, I am very used to it and I can block it out and ignore them, but there's a lot of feelings going on right now. You know, there's a lot. I look so different. I feel so different. I feel like I'm a lion right now, you know? Walking with my kid and I'm pregnant. Like, I don't want anyone too close to me taking pictures, violating my space and my time with my family. And there's no way to control it. So it's frustrating.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [55:46] It seems really invasive.

Hilary Duff [55:48] I mean, the other day I was at your office and the guy's, like, taking pictures of me waiting for the elevator. Yeah, because he was following me there, yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [55:56] Oh, one of your guys? Oh, I once walked somebody out. She must have been, maybe she was 24 with her first kid and she came by herself and we could just see from the fifth floor by the time she was ready to leave, there must have been 75 people there. Yeah, just multiplies, right? Yeah, so I walked her out and it was just a storm.

Hilary Duff [56:19] I don't know how you do that, really. It's really, one, it's scary and it's so, it's so gross to treat a human being like that. And they were mean to each other. They were, like, fighting with each other.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:31] Oh, they fight?

Hilary Duff [56:32] Oh, yeah, and they yell things at me. I mean, it's so funny. If I cover my face with something, they're like, you're so mean now. Because you covered your face

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:42] to try to get a little privacy?

Hilary Duff [56:44] Yeah. They yelled at me, too. I'm so mean now. Someone said to Matt the other day, you know who you got involved with? He's like, yeah, I do.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [56:55] Thanks. They yelled at me and they said, rabbi, how long have you known this person? I was like, ooh, cool, I'm a rabbi now. I mean, honestly, it's wild. Do you ever, I mean, I think a lot of people wonder what it would be like to grow up and become famous. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to just be anonymous?

Hilary Duff [57:16] Oh, yeah, I daydream about it all the time. I don't like to complain because honestly I have a really wonderful life, but it is a, it's a constant choice to block that stuff out and, you know, ignore it and try to live like everybody's not watching, you know.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:36] Are you planning to take pictures or video at your birth?

Hilary Duff [57:38] Yes. Oh, yeah, that's the other person that's going to be there. I'm so sorry, we have a birth photographer named Rebecca.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:45] And she's going to take pictures and video?

Hilary Duff [57:48] Mm-hmm.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:48] Oh, wow. Do you have from your first birth?

Hilary Duff [57:52] I did not have anyone doing photos there. No pictures, no, yeah. I have pictures, but like iPhone pictures that my sister and family were taking.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [57:59] iPhones are pretty good. Yeah. All right, anything else you want to share that I didn't ask you?

Hilary Duff [58:12] I don't think so.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:14] I mean, we're going to talk again. We're going to talk again. I can't wait to talk again. I do have one burning question. Do you have a favorite role that you've ever played? Nothing to do with pregnancy and childbirth. Or motherhood.

Hilary Duff [58:31] Or motherhood. Favorite role that I've ever played. I hope I haven't had it yet. Well, to date, I think, I mean,

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:45] my favorite Hilary Duff is clearly Wendy.

Hilary Duff [58:50] Wendy meets Casper.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:52] You're close. Casper meets Wendy.

Hilary Duff [58:54] So close.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [58:54] Okay. I just want to, how'd you get into books?

Hilary Duff [59:00] Oh my God, writing books was the hardest thing I've ever done. I never want to do it again.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:04] Really? You're not going to write anymore?

Hilary Duff [59:06] I don't want to say never, but that was so hard. I wrote three books. And it was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's like having a baby. Yeah, and just like, I would love to write again, but maybe like a script and shorter, less, like, I don't know, not such an extensive thing. This was so hard. Books are hard.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:33] Yeah. I mean, people who I know who have babies and who have books, like really say that. It's like having a baby.

Hilary Duff [59:40] Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:41] I don't know if I experienced it in that way, but. Maybe next time you can have a home book.

Hilary Duff [59:47] A home book. Yeah.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [59:50] All right, well, I love talking, you're very real. I feel like there's nothing, whatever comes into your mind, like you're very, you share, you talk about it. And I think that a lot of the things that you have experienced and that you are experiencing are things that other people also have and they also experience, but they don't always get to talk about it or feel comfortable talking about it. So I really appreciate you sharing your personal stories. And yeah, I definitely, I will come running if you call me. And I look forward to talking to you on the other side and finding out how your story was.

Hilary Duff [60:24] Thank you. I feel so lucky for everyone that I've encountered, even just through this process of, of doing things a little bit differently this time around, like yourself included and some of the wisdom that you've said to me and, or the stories that you've shared and same with my midwives and my doula. I mean, everyone has been incredibly supportive and it's like this wealth of knowledge that everyone has of this kind of like, it's not secretive, but not everyone goes this route. So, you know, there's a lot to learn and there's a lot to be shared and all the brave women that I've seen in videos and the way that they're sharing their stories. I mean, it's the most personal,

[61:19] private thing that you can do. And people are just putting it on the internet, like to share that with me. And now Instagram allows them, so. It's amazing. I feel so grateful to all these people I don't know for me to get a glimpse of how they're doing it so I can potentially do it too.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [61:35] That's really cool. Well, I think it's going to be a great journey, no matter what.

Hilary Duff [61:41] Thank you.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [61:42] And I can't wait to come back and hear the rest of it.

Hilary Duff [61:44] Thank you.

Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [61:45] At home, thanks for listening to the Informed Pregnancy podcast. If you have a topic you want to hear, send us a note at info at informedpregnancy.com. Oh, I got a.

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