by Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Project | Jan 18, 2023 | IP+ Filmmaker Spotlight, Labor and Delivery, Pregnancy
“I became a mother when I was twenty-one, and had a c-section with twins. I didn’t know a lot about childbirth at that time, except for the fact that I was terrified of it. I knew my life was about to change in a drastic way, and everything about that was new and scary.”
Informed Pregnancy+ is Dr. Elliot Berlin’s brand new multi platform streaming channel dedicated to pregnancy, postpartum and parenting. The Filmmakers Spotlight blog series features creators whose work is showcased on the channel. To learn more or sign up for a yearly or monthly subscription, click here!
Surrender. This is the word I associate most with childbirth. It’s an amazing and humbling experience to bring a new life into the world through my body, and one I’ve experienced five different times. Each time it’s been a whole new experience, vastly different from the one before it.
I became a mother when I was twenty-one, and had a c-section with twins. I didn’t know a lot about childbirth at that time, except for the fact that I was terrified of it. I knew my life was about to change in a drastic way, and everything about that was new and scary. My water broke spontaneously when I was 33 weeks and one day into my pregnancy. The surgery itself was painless, as I had been numbed with spinal anesthesia, but the recovery was the most painful experience of my life. My twins spent the first four weeks of their life in the NICU and I embraced my new role as “mother”.
When my twins were two weeks shy of turning two years old, I had my first VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Because of my awful experience recovering from the surgery, I was determined to not have a repeat of that experience, and spent the entire pregnancy researching how to avoid another c-section. I started learning about the midwifery model of care, and reading books by Ina May Gaskin. I joined online forums and groups where people shared positive birth stories, and I began to prepare for a successful VBAC without pain medication. I was met with opposition from my care provider, who told me she’d never seen anyone give birth without an epidural. I knew having an epidural would increase my chances of having a repeat surgical birth, and I didn’t want that so I was stubborn and held strong to my convictions. I went on to have a successful and drug-free birth without Pitocin or epidural, in a hospital in the Midwest, thanks to a supportive L&D nurse who dubbed herself “the underground doula” of the hospital system. She massaged my feet, fed me, and gave me liquids during my labor, while the lights were dimmed and music from a playlist of my choosing serenaded me in the background. My child was born with ease as the song “The Night You Saved My Life” by Tonya Donnelly played, and my mother held my hand.
My second VBAC, third birth, and fourth child was a completely different experience. We had moved back to Florida during this pregnancy, and although my doctor claimed to be pro-VBAC throughout my pregnancy, when I went into labor, he pulled a bait and switch on me. Suddenly he was threatening me with a c-section if my child wasn’t born by 2:00 PM that day. My mother and one of my cousins acted as my support system through this one, and between the three of us, we managed to fight off the nurses who tried to force interventions upon me that I didn’t want. This time around I had to spend every minute of my labor fighting with hospital staff to procure the birth I wanted, and it made for a much more painful labor because I was tense and under so much stress due to the mean nursing staff. My cousin massaged my lower back to help with pain relief and my mother advocated for me when I couldn’t speak for myself. There was no music playing, and it was not a peaceful environment, but I did manage to have another drug-free, successful VBAC. However, I was left with emotional trauma due to how I was treated while in labor by the hospital staff.
When my husband and I got pregnant for a fourth and final time, I had sworn that unless it was a literal life or death situation I would never give birth in a hospital again. This time I found a freestanding birth center in Hollywood, FL and a wonderful midwife, Debbie Marin. This pregnancy and birth experience were different than any before. She listened to me and my concerns. She taught me about prenatal nutrition, something no previous care provider had done. This birth was such a beautiful experience; in water, by candle light, with music and my husband behind me in the tub. I was laughing and joking in labor. I had learned a little about self hypnosis and utilized it during contractions. I felt pressure but no pain. Debbie gently guided me through the birth of my baby, allowing me to be in full control but let me know she was there to do all the dirty work while my body did what it was designed to do.
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The birth of my fifth child was such a beautiful experience that it inspired me to make a documentary several years later called Beautiful Births. I wanted to educate and inform other people that they had options when it came to how and where they had their babies. I wanted to share information that I didn’t have until this pregnancy. I wanted the world to know about the Midwifery Model of Care and how it was different from the Medical Model of Care. Both have pros and cons, and I felt that every person should have the right to decide for themselves rather than be forced into a hospital birth just because it’s what their mom did, or what was considered “normal”.
I went onto study hypnotherapy and became a certified hypnotherapist, with specialization in pregnancy and childbirth. I created a whole hypnotherapy program, different from what already existed, with one on one options as well as a self study program, and coming in early 2023, also an interactive book version of the program too! My book has the full and detailed versions of all my birth stories. I wanted to work with people one on one to custom tailor my hypnotherapy for childbirth to their personal needs and regardless of how or where they chose to give birth, whether with the medical model of care or the midwifery model of care. My job is to support the parent-to-be and their wishes because I’ve experienced both and I have no judgment, only support to help people have better birth experiences.
Thirteen years after my water birth experience which inspired my documentary, I got pregnant with a surprise baby. I was now 39 years old and this time it was considered “geriatric pregnancy”. I dealt with a lot of antepartum depression the entire pregnancy, but the only thing I was looking forward to was having another water birth. I was planning for another beautiful birth experience. I imagined candles lining the tub at the birth center, while leaning on my partner in the warm water. I was curating a playlist of music to listen to while in labor. I had talked about my birth plans with my midwifery team, and with my daughter’s father. It was the one thing I was confident about. But my unborn daughter had other plans. This time, I went into labor five days before my estimated due date, and my labor was precipitous – active labor was less than three hours; from seeing bloody show at 5:30 to first hard contraction around 6:00 PM, and my daughter on my chest at 7:51PM. Nothing about this birth went the way I planned. It ended up being an unassisted birth, dry birth, on my bed with only my 15 year old son holding my hand. There was no time for anyone else to make it to me. I had to just surrender to the moment and I was able to do so without fear because of all my knowledge, research, and hypnotherapy training. I utilized my own teachings from my program and went within. The soundtrack to my daughter’s birth was my own primal growls, also referred to as “birth singing”. According to my son I hit every octave in the human vocal range, and then lifted my baby onto my chest. I couldn’t have done it so easily and effortlessly without surrendering to the moment.
Surrender. Birth is about surrender. In the moment, it is the most powerful thing we can do, and honestly, it’s the only thing we can really do. Regardless of circumstances or our plans, birth is a wildcard and sometimes it happens so fast that things are beyond our control, that all we can do is surrender to the experience and let it happen.
Check out this blog post on pediatric chiropractic by Dr. Brandie Elizabeth Keates, DC!
Jacqui Blue is a Filmmaker, Certified Hypnotherapist, and Author who created the Beautiful Hypnosis-Births program and first ever interactive hypnotherapy book due out in 2023. She is also a mother of six children and an animal rescuer, who resides in Southern California with her children and rescue pets. She enjoys painting and photography in her free time.
You can find Jacqui online at https://jacquiblue.net and https://mindmagiccoach.com
by Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Project | Jan 17, 2023 | Labor and Delivery, Podcast Transcripts
Air date 12.12.2022
Listen here!
Elliot: You have tuned into the after episode of the before and after birth story. My guest today is a nutritionist and founder of Medicinal Mushroom Focus Company, Fungirl. The last time I spoke to her was incredibly pregnant with her first child and now she’s incredibly not pregnant with her first child. Congratulations.
Isabella: Thank you, thank you.
Elliot: Isabella Zar, welcome back to the podcast.
Isabella: Thanks for having me back.
Elliot: I don’t know anything about your birth story other than that you had a baby. And, I’m excited to hear all the little details of it. Let’s start here because, I mean, I always say this like when I introduce, “Oh, she’s really, really pregnant. Could have the baby any minute.” You’re very at the end. Like where in your timeline did things start on your 40, 42-week calendar?
Isabella: So, when we spoke, I was 40 weeks. I can’t remember exactly 40 weeks and how many days. But, things started for me I think the 40-week and 3-day mark.
Elliot: Okay. So, we literally were just a few days before.
Isabella: Yeah. I think it was a day after we spoke actually, when I think about it.
Elliot: Excellent. So, with the magic of podcasting, it’s like the cooking shows. They put it in the top oven and they immediately open in the bottom oven and it’s fully cooked. So, your birth was that simple. So, okay. How did things start?
Isabella: It was so not simple. Oh, man. It was a journey. I started just having little signs and symptoms like losing a bit of my mucus plug and the Braxton Hicks were getting stronger. But, it was on Tuesday, I woke up on Tuesday morning and I felt like I’d woken up in a bit of a puddle. I hadn’t peed myself.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: So, I was texting my midwife. I was like, “I think my water maybe just broke, but it doesn’t feel like a lot. I’m not sure what to expect because I haven’t done this before.” And, she was like, “It was probably a bit of a hind leak. Like see how you go throughout the day.”
Elliot: I have hind leaks all the time.
Isabella: It’s not good.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: So, I had a totally normal day. I went and got a pedicure with my mom. We went for lunch. We went shopping. I had two of my good friends come over for dinner that night. It was a normal day. Throughout the day, I was still having a little bit of cramping and the leaking was still happening.
Elliot: Can I ask you a question about your mucus plug? What did it look like?
Isabella: It was just like — well, there was a little bit of blood but not really. It was more just like a clear kind of mucus-looking.
Elliot: Goopy?
Isabella: Yeah, a little bit. But, it was clear and it looked stringy.
Elliot: Okay. So, we’re like — oh, did you know what it was going to look like?
Isabella: I’ve seen pictures of various mucus plugs so I didn’t know what to expect.
Elliot: I have posters all over my bedroom.
Isabella: Beautiful.
Elliot: Yeah. I mean, it’s nature’s art.
Isabella: Oh, yeah. I’m sure that’s a really beautiful bedroom environment.
Elliot: I’m picturing my college dorm room.
Isabella: Yeah, just postebbrs.
Elliot: “Hey, what’s that dude?” “You don’t want to know.”
Isabella: “Don’t worry about it.” So, I knew what it was, but like it was only little bits of it. Some people, they lose the whole thing it seems like. I didn’t have that. It was just little bits here and there with the leaking. So, it wasn’t like anything was like, “Oh, it’s go time.” It was more gradual. So then, my friends left our house after dinner that night. And, my husband and I were like, “Okay, my contractions are getting stronger. Let’s just try and relax, watch a movie, had a little wine, put on a funny movie.” I was like, “Maybe we’ll just laugh the baby out.” So naive of me.
Yeah, that night I was just having contractions all night and I was basically just trying to rest in between. But, there’s only so much rest you can get in between a contraction. It’s like, oh, I’m going to have a micro sleep for like 5, 6, 10 minutes.
Elliot: Can you describe what those contractions were feeling like at that point?
Isabella: It was just like this band that was tightening around my lower belly like below my belly button. It was just this surge that would come on. It was like the whole band would really constrict, like a really intense period pain, and then ease after a little.
Elliot: Okay. I mean, now you have your whole scale. But, on a scale of 1 to 10, how intense would you say? And, 10 being the most.
Isabella: It was probably about a 5 or a 6.
Elliot: Okay. So, tolerable. What would you do when it would happen?
Isabella: Yeah. It was tolerable. In between each contraction, I could walk around and do my thing. And then, when it would come on, I’d have to stop just like brace myself. If I had a wall near me, I just lean on the wall and breathe into it. But, they were like stopping me in my tracks.
Elliot: Okay. At that point, is that exciting to you like, “Oh, this is happening?” Or, is it unsettling because it’s something you never really felt before?
Isabella: Oh, no. I felt like it was happening. I was like, “I’m going to give birth tonight, this morning, at some point in the next –”
Elliot: Game on.
Isabella: Yeah. I thought it was game on.
Elliot: Is this going all through the night?
Isabella: This is all night. I remember looking at the clock and it was 11:11, and my contractions were pretty strong and regular by that point. And, that happened all night. It was like that until the morning. And then, it was interesting. As soon as the sun started to come up, the contractions started to settle down. So, they got way longer. They became longer apart. They were like every 30 minutes now. And, I was texting my midwife the whole time and she was telling me that it’s quite common that that can happen. When the sun comes up, your hormones just relax a little, the labor will slow down.
Elliot: It does seem somehow tied into the night-day cycle.
Isabella: Yeah, I mean —
Elliot: When everybody talks about in relation to the moon, which is nighttime. And also, just at a time where you generally feel more safe and relaxed, I think. And so, your body can push things forward. Not everybody, everyone’s got their own pattern. But, that seems to be pretty prevalent. So, does that afford you the opportunity to get some rest?
Isabella: Yeah, I got a little bit of rest, which is really nice. My contractions are about 30 minutes apart like most of the day. So, I was getting some naps in between. But, you know, when I was lying on my side, that’s when my contractions were the most intense, which is really annoying because I wanted to rest so badly. But, every time I lay on my side, they were so much more intense than any other position.
Elliot: So, what would you do?
Isabella: I was walking around and moving on all fours just trying to stay somewhat active. But then, when I was trying to rest I just had to kind of rally and get through them.
Elliot: Yeah. I just wonder if it’s either a semi-reclining or sitting in one of those lazy chairs, something like that. You didn’t have the option. You just powered through your intense side lying?
Isabella: I mean, I can’t remember if I tried a semi-reclining position. I’m sure I did on the couch or something. But, I just remember them being more intense when I lay down, so it kind of deterred me from wanting to actually lie down.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: Hard.
Elliot: And, at this point, the only presence is you and your partner?
Isabella: Yeah. It was just me and my husband.
Elliot: And, also your doula assistant, Bubba, the Morkie.
Isabella: Of course. He was there the whole time.
Elliot: I mean, did he have a reaction to you being in labor?
Isabella: He was really chill. He was honestly such a sweet little pup that entire labor. There was a lot of it and he was by my side really sweet and calm like didn’t make a peep. He was an angel.
Elliot: Hmm, wow. They all react so differently. It’s interesting.
Isabella: Yeah, I’m sure.
Elliot: Okay. So, this whole thing started Tuesday night when you had a hind leak and you felt like you wet yourself and were having little strings of mucus plug coming out. And then, contractions all night. And then, in the morning, they space out. So, now it’s Wednesday and they’re spaced out and you’re walking around being active, trying to get a little rest. Anything change over the day?
Isabella: No, things didn’t change until that night until things got dark.
Elliot: Oh. Like dark outside or dark in your story?
Isabella: Dark outside.
Elliot: Oh. Okay, fine. I was like, “That was ominous. Halloween.” Okay. So, I did have one question. Are you still losing fluid?
Isabella: Yes. I was still just having like a little bit of leakage and little bits of mucus and blood like the whole day.
Elliot: Little drops of blood, not like soaking through pans of blood?
Isabella: No it was definitely not like soaking anything through. It was just like little bits here and there.
Elliot: Okay, alright. Great. Then things get dark outside. I don’t know. Let’s maybe take a little break and then we’re going to find out what happened after dark. We’ll be right back.
[break]
Welcome back to the Informed Pregnancy Podcast. We’re talking to Isabella Zar. And labor, you thought it was going to be quick. It was not quick I can tell already because a full day has gone by. What happens when it gets dark?
Isabella: Okay. So, it got dark and my contractions by like 10:30 went out a minute long, so it’s 3 minutes apart, so they were happening. And, it was still just me and my husband at this point. I really just wanted to have —
Elliot: And Morkie.
Isabella: And Morkie. I really wanted to have just a sacred space to kind of lean into the intensity without having anyone around watching, waiting.
Elliot: Oh. So, that’s by design it’s just you guys?
Isabella: Yeah, yeah. I didn’t want to call anyone until I felt like I really needed them and it was go time. So, that time actually was really special. It was really nice just to have the two of us, three of us. But, by 1:00 am Thursday morning, that’s when I called my mom who’s also my doula. She came over and then text my midwife Katie, and she arrived about 1:30 am. So, we had the whole team there at that point. And, the pool was up. It was partially filled. And, we were just all ready to go. And, my contractions were super strong, super regular. I was trying all the positions.
Elliot: Trying them for what?
Isabella: Just trying to progress. I was having these regular strong contractions and I was pushing, but the baby wasn’t coming down far enough.
Elliot: So, does this mean your midwife checked you already?
Isabella: She didn’t check me.
Elliot: So you’re just pushing on instinct?
Isabella: Yeah, yeah. So, she likes to go off reading the situation like where I’m at, and how my contractions are, and everything that comes with that. So, I was just pushing on instinct. It kind of got to the point where I was like I feel like I needed to push like I got that urge, so I was pushing into it.
Elliot: With the proverbial rectal pressure that everyone talks about?
Isabella: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very much had that.
Elliot: So, this is 1:30 in the morning?
Isabella: Yeah. This is 1:30 am on Thursday.
Elliot: So, when you started the whole thing on Tuesday night, you went to Wednesday night. Well, this is Wednesday night/very early Thursday morning?
Isabella: Yes, yes.
Elliot: Like 28 hours or something like that into it.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Okay. And, you said that the surges were closer together and lasting a bit longer. Were they more intense?
Isabella: They were more intense for sure.
Elliot: Same sensation just on steroids or was it like a different sensation entirely?
Isabella: It was different in that the constricting feeling, it felt like the surges were more of my tummy as opposed to just that lower part. Like they had spread further up my stomach. So, it felt like my whole tummy was contracting.
Elliot: Okay. Because before you said kind of belly button down. Now, like your whole uterus all the way up to underneath your ribs?
Isabella: Yeah, yeah.
Elliot: But still, all in the front?
Isabella: I had a little in the back, but not a ton.
Elliot: Okay. What kind of things were you doing for comfort?
Isabella: I was in the tub at one stage, which felt really nice. But, I felt like it was actually slowing things down for me because it felt too nice to be in there and I just felt like it was slowing them down. So, I actually didn’t stay in the tub for long.
Elliot: Okay. Was that before the midwife came?
Isabella: No. That was once midwife was there.
Elliot: So, before that, were there any other comfort measures?
Isabella: I would [indiscernible 00:15:43]. I would hang out with my husband okay he would squeeze my hips and that felt really nice. Just applying like some even pressure on my hips or even on my lower back like around my tailbone, that helped. I also was using doing the comb trick, which was —
Elliot: In your hand?
Isabella: Yeah. So, you have the little tips in like the line where your fingers in your palm meet and squeeze into that. And, I actually really liked that. It just took my mind off the pain happening anywhere else in my body.
Elliot: Yeah. Oh, that’s so cool. I’ve heard a few people now say that. I haven’t really seen it in practice. But, heard a few people say it was very helpful.
Isabella: Yeah. I definitely recommend the comb trick. I think it’s such an easy thing to do and it definitely helps.
Elliot: Yeah. I do the honeycomb trick. It’s surreal for sure. It helps. It definitely helps.
Isabella: For sure.
Elliot: Alright. So, those are your comfort measures. You got the comb trick, you got your partner. I am curious, were there any mushrooms involved at any point?
Isabella: You know what, there were no mushrooms.
Elliot: I can’t believe it.
Isabella: I couldn’t stomach the whole thing.
Elliot: Oh. You couldn’t eat anything. It wasn’t a fun birth. So, there’s that. And then, what music were you listening to? What kind of things?
Isabella: Oh. I had a playlist, which is really nice. It was a whole mix. I had Fleetwood Mac, I can’t even think. I’m blanking. But it was a nice one. It wasn’t too chanty, meditation music. It was a little more upbeat. It was just music that made me happy.
Elliot: That’s great.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Music that generally makes you happy.
Isabella: Yes, exactly.
Elliot: It makes you happy in the moment. I can kind of you’re setting a good scene here.
Isabella: Yeah. No. The setup was beautiful. The music actually was really nice because when a more upbeat song came on, I actually tried to just kind of dance through the contractions a bit as well, which is good. I just moved my hips side to side or in circles
Elliot: That felt good?
Isabella: Yeah. It did feel good.
Elliot: You didn’t end up sitting on the toilet for a long time like people do?
Isabella: I did. I tried sitting on the toilet. I tried —
Elliot: Were you facing normal or were you facing the other way?
Isabella: I was facing normal. I think I tried the other way but I didn’t like it, so I faced normal.
Elliot: Okay. But, did that give you any sense of like more opening? People sit on there because you’re used to opening up.
Isabella: Honestly, not really.
Elliot: No, okay.
Isabella: We tried that and the birthing stool and neither of them felt like they helped a ton. One thing that we did do was the peanut ball.
Elliot: Oh, yeah.
Isabella: Laying in bed was torture. I hate to say it but it was excruciating.
Elliot: Really? So, you’re like in bed laying on your side with the peanut ball between your legs?
Isabella: Yeah. Katie was like, “Do 15 minutes each side.” I did 15 minutes on one side and then about three on the other. I was like, I physically cannot. It was too much for me. It was a lot. So, at this stage, Thursday early morning, we’re doing all the tricks. It was just a whole night of that basically, and then same thing happened as the night before like the sun started to come up and things slowed down a little bit but not a ton. But, Katie was basically giving me like all her midwife tricks. So, I had my breast pump on.
Elliot: Oh, wow.
Isabella: Walking around the house. I started taking a certain herb. Every 30 minutes I’d have a dropper of this herb. I was doing the side steps. That really helped. Every time I did like the crab walking, that definitely brought on a really strong surge.
Elliot: Oh, really?
Isabella: But it was just like another day of intense active labor and she still was not progressing. I wasn’t progressing.
Elliot: So, it kind of sounds like a much more intense version of your stepping on the gas, the engine’s revving, but the gears aren’t engaged?
Isabella: Yes, exactly. Exactly.
Elliot: That seems frustrating.
Isabella: It was. I remember in the moment, well, this was a Thursday during the day. I remember just feeling so disheartened because I’d done so much work already and I was becoming really, really exhausted. I couldn’t sleep and then my husband came to me and he was like, “We need to get this baby out.” He’s like, “I’m going to help you in every way I can.” And, he was incredible. Like he was the birth partner. I honestly could not have gone through this without him. But, he just put a pep in my step and he was like, “Okay. Let’s do the pumps. Let’s do the herbs. Let’s walk around.”
He just got me doing all the things to try and bring on those contractions even stronger to get things going because that’s what I needed. I just needed to kick into another gear that I wasn’t getting to. So, he was just like, “Let’s go.” So, that whole day Thursday, we were doing all the tricks.
And then, I mean, it went into the evening again and it was about 1:00 am and I was in the bedroom at this point. I had my whole team with me and I was lying on my side. Aaron was holding up my top leg and I was pushing in that position. And, I felt like I was making progress like that, and then I just wasn’t. I could reach down. Katie, she said to me, she’s like, “See if you can feel the baby.” And, I could. I could feel the baby’s head.
Elliot: With your fingers from the outside?
Isabella: Yeah, yeah. I put my fingers inside of me and I could feel her in there, but she was still like two inches up. She wasn’t quite far enough down.
Elliot: Did you do that during a push?
Isabella: Yeah. It was during a push. She said, “Just put your fingers in.” And then, a contraction came, and then I could feel.
Elliot: It seems like sometimes that gives the person a little more perspective if you can feel what the baby’s doing in relation to your push. Okay. Well, this is not the quick birth you were hoping for. I mean, it seems like you must have had to reheat the water in your tub.
Isabella: We definitely had to reheat the water a few times.
Elliot: A couple of times, yeah.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Is there — I guess two things. One is, are you still leaking fluid and stuff? Did your water break at any point?
Isabella: No. So I was still leaking fluid. And, at this point, before I felt the baby’s head, my midwife, she checked me and she could actually feel my bag, not the baby’s head. So, she was like, “Okay. Your bag is still intact. You’re leaking. It’s just a hind leak, but your bag is still there.” So she just kept her fingers inside of me while I was going through a few surges. And, that pressure against the fingers basically burst the bag. So, she didn’t intervene, but she just applied a little pressure there for it to break.
Elliot: Okay. So, this is after? Because you said you kind of had one leg up. You sort of felt like you’re progressing, but then you weren’t. This is after that?
Isabella: Yeah, yeah.
Elliot: Okay. Great. So, my other two things is once she’s in there, is she checking your cervix at all?
Isabella: Yes. So, she was checking and I was fully dilated. She could feel a little like lip of my cervix was kind of in the way. And, she also felt that baby’s head was posterior.
Elliot: Oh.
Isabella: I know.
Elliot: The double curse. The dreaded lip and posterior baby. But, were you feeling back labor because you never mentioned it?
Isabella: I was feeling it more in my hips. And, that radiated to my back like the back of my hips as well, but I wasn’t having crazy back labor like some women experience. It really was like more in the front.
Elliot: Wow. Okay. I don’t know. I’m exhausted. I’m going to take a little break. I feel defeated. Alright. Let’s take a little break. Obviously, the baby’s out so there’s more to the story. We’ll be right back.
[break]
Welcome back to the Informed Pregnancy Podcast. I had a bread bowl so I can hear the rest of the story here. Isabella is in labor. Started on a Tuesday night with some contractions, water breaking. Not water breaking, water leaking, hind leak, and it’s a mucus plug and blood. And, that just continued all through the night. In the morning, it slowed down a little bit, then at night it picked up a lot, then no progress. Now we’re on Thursday night?
Isabella: Well, Thursday night/Friday morning.
Elliot: Oh, my gosh. Okay. Well, you’re 10 centimeters. You’re trying all sorts of things to help your baby into your pelvis and you find out two not-great pieces of information. There’s a cervical lip, a little piece of the cervix blocking the baby from coming through. And, the baby skulls against your spine, bone on bone. Alright. What happens next?
Isabella: We are in that same position, the side-lying position because I felt like I was making the most progress like that and I was just pushing and pushing and pushing. I was putting everything that I had left in my body into those pushes, but my eyes were literally starting to shut like I couldn’t keep them open. I was so exhausted. I had barely slept. I had like two slices of apple in like the past three days.
Elliot: Oh, you glutton.
Isabella: I was just a shell of a human. It was a lot.
Elliot: Did it feel different after your water broke?
Isabella: It did. It felt more intense.
Elliot: Okay. But, not more productive?
Isabella: Not really, not really. And, I think it’s a combination of things like the position, the cervix. But, also just me being so exhausted. I don’t think I had the energy behind the pushes that I really needed to bring her down.
Elliot: Out of gas.
Isabella: Yeah. I was so out of gas.
Elliot: No, I remember from the pre-birth episode you said it took you a minute to get behind home birth, and then you did. But then, along the way, I think normal natural fears bubbled up about this, that, or the other thing. And then, you went in fairly excited, confident, with a little bit of anxiousness like everyone. But, I remember you saying distinctly, which I was sort of excited about for you, that you had processed a lot and you’d come around to the fact that maybe it’ll happen at home, maybe it’ll happen at the hospital, maybe it’ll happen medicated, maybe it’ll happen unmedicated, maybe it’ll happen vaginally, maybe it’ll happen cesarean. It’s going to happen the way it needs to happen.
But, your wish, your goal, your desire, if you can pick anything, would just be have an intimate birth setting at home surrounded by your Morkie and a few other people. Are there thoughts at this point of like maybe I should go to the hospital?
Isabella: Oh, my God. Yes. I was having thoughts well before this.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: I even had moments where I was like, “What am I doing? Why didn’t I just go to the hospital and get an epidural?” But, they’re just moments of weakness. When you’re going through something intense, it’s only natural that those thoughts pop into your mind. But, they’re exactly that. They’re just thoughts. So, I allowed them to come in, and then I allowed them to leave. And, I didn’t think much more about them.
Elliot: Were you the only person having those thoughts?
Isabella: I was. And, my husband, when I voiced that, he would remind me that this is ultimately like what I wanted to do and that I needed to stay strong and he was really supportive. But, at this point, it’s about 2:00 am or something in the morning after laboring since Tuesday night. I just said to everyone, because everyone was with me at that point, “I physically don’t have it in me and I think I need to go to the hospital.”
I mean, personally, I was feeling a lot of guilt, and disappointment, and defeat in that moment. And, I could tell that everyone around me as well. Everyone wanted me to have the bath that I ultimately wanted, so there was definitely a bit of disappointment amongst the birth team. But, I think everyone knew that it was the right thing. That they could see what I’d gone through and the state that I was in, and that I was just physically too exhausted and mentally. And, that I just needed relief and I needed to rest.
So, once I made that call, everyone was just like up, and scrambling, and getting all the things together. And, Katie’s on the phone to the hospital. And, she notified them that we were doing a home bath and that —
Elliot: [indiscernible 00:29:07]
Isabella: Yeah, exactly. So, she was just getting everything lined up.
Elliot: I know you live very close to the hospital. Did you have a specific doctor?
Isabella: No, we didn’t have a specific doctor lined up. But, the doctor that I ended up getting, he was amazing.
Elliot: Okay. How was the drive?
Isabella: So interesting. It was a lot. I was in the front seat facing the back gripping my nails into the headrest. I thought I was going to puncture holes into that thing. My husband’s driving, my mom’s in the back, and my midwife went in her own car. And, there was just this silence in the car because it was just this intense period of trying to get somewhere, and then there was just me just going through the motions in the front just, you know, the deep groans, and the breathing.
And, as soon as we decided that I was going to the hospital, it was like everything unraveled. I felt like I became weak. So, I couldn’t stay strong for the contractions. I just felt everything, the most intensity that I had.
Elliot: But also, you’re in a very confined space in a moving vehicle.
Isabella: Not ideal.
Elliot: I mean, not ideal. On top of everything else, it’s hard to focus, concentrate, feel strong, and free, and open in that environment. So, when you got there, how was the handoff?
Isabella: It was great. It was quick. They got me in there. They had to check me.
Elliot: But, you knew you were 10.
Isabella: Yeah. I knew I was 10, but it was just protocol. They had their baseline to work from. They administered the IV really quick, and then they got the epidural in. And, that was all within like half an hour. It was quick, which is amazing.
Elliot: How was the epidural, both the placement and the effect?
Isabella: Placement was all good. There were no issues and it started to take effect within like 20 minutes. And, it was just like, “Oh, my God.” Everything started to ease and I cannot tell you the feeling that I was experiencing was just so much relief. I so badly needed that. I fell asleep immediately. As soon as they put me on the bed, they came out, the nurse put like three blankets straight from the dryer on me. They were so warm and toasty. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my life. I passed out for like six hours.
Elliot: Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe there were still six hours left here.
Isabella: It was still going.
Elliot: Okay. So, six hours later.
Isabella: Six hours later, I wake up in the hospital. I wake up, I’m having contractions.
Elliot: Is it Friday afternoon now?
Isabella: It’s Friday morning. It’s about 9:00 am now.
Elliot: So, you went in the middle of the night?
Isabella: Yeah. I went in about 2:30 am, I think.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: Yeah. So, I wake up. I’m not feeling the contractions, but I’m feeling the pressure. I didn’t realize, with the epidural, you don’t feel the intensity or the pain that comes with the surges, but you still feel the pressure.
Elliot: Would you say it’s like you feel muscle contracting and relaxing? Like not painful but the tightening and releasing?
Isabella: I guess that’s what it is. But, I was feeling more like a pushing down kind of —
Elliot: Like into your pelvis?
Isabella: Yeah. Into my pelvis and into my rectum as well. That whole area, I was just feeling like a downward pressure every time I had one. So, that was a good sign.
Elliot: All that pressure through the epidural?
Isabella: Yeah, yeah.
Elliot: Catheter? I assume you got a catheter too.
Isabella: I had a catheter, but I had to count that up but I was asleep when they did that. I didn’t feel a thing.
Elliot: That’s nice. Great.
Isabella: My mom said she saw them start to get it ready to put it in. And, she came over and held my hand and I was just a zombie.
Elliot: You couldn’t care less.
Isabella: I don’t remember any of that. I was fully passed out.
Elliot: That’s nice. Well, Isabella, this is what happens sometimes. The birth goes on for a long time and three segments doesn’t do it justice. So, I say we take one more little break and then find out the rest of the story. We’ll be right back.
[break]
Welcome back to the Informed Pregnancy Podcast. Believe it or not, we’re still with Isabella and her labor went at home for a very long time. They went to the hospital. Everything’s fine. Epidural, six hours of sleep, and you wake up and?
Isabella: And, I felt like a whole new human being.
Elliot: More energy. You had energy.
Isabella: More energy. I felt rested. I felt strong. I felt motivated to get this done. Yeah. So, I was having the contractions, and then my midwife arrived. And, she could see me having the contractions, but you know, they were —
Elliot: Wait, how did your midwife get in there? Oh, the hospital midwife?
Isabella: No, my —
Elliot: Your midwife?
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Wait a second, how did you get extra people on there?
Isabella: I don’t know, but I think it’s because you can have family members in there. So, I had my husband and my mom. They slept on the little pull-out sofa together.
Elliot: And then, you were able to bring your midwife?
Isabella: And then, my midwife came the next day when I woke up, yeah.
Elliot: I think they lost track. Because right now, the protocol is you plus two.
Isabella: That’s what I thought. But, I don’t know. We got an extra one.
Elliot: Yeah, they probably didn’t know. Whatever. Okay. Lucky for you. So then, your midwife came. She saw you having contractions. But, you can see them on the monitor too, right?
Isabella: Yes. That’s what I mean. They could see them on the monitor, but they just needed to be a little closer together. There was too much space in between.
Elliot: I’m smelling a tiny bit of Pitocin.
Isabella: Tiny bit of Pitocin, you’re right. And honestly, that was like exactly what I needed. It just kicked them into gear and then it was happening. And then, my nurse that I had, she had the most amazing nurse. She was incredible.
Elliot: Wow. So, you had a great doctor who you never met before and a great nurse.
Isabella: I felt so lucky I had —
Elliot: A great hospital experience.
Isabella: Great experience.
Elliot: Wow. Okay. And, just to be clear, it didn’t sound like you hated the hospital from the beginning. It just sounded like for birth, you were wanting a more intimate experience. Less clinical, less random people around. And, it’s not like you were anti-hospital or anything. You were just like, “That’s not my first choice.”
Isabella: Yeah. I mean, there was totally a time and a place for the hospital, you know, all the medicines and everything that they use there. I’m definitely not against it. But yeah, as you said, it’s not my first choice. I much prefer a more intimate, natural route. But, at the end of the day, it’s like I just wanted my baby to arrive healthy and safe.
Elliot: It is for sure a part of the plan.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: So, okay. Alright. So, you get a little bit of Pitocin. Things kick into gear finally, that second gear that you were looking for.
Isabella: Things kick into gear, I’m pushing, and —
Elliot: Can you feel the pushing?
Isabella: Yeah. It’s the same thing, I could feel the pressure. Can I tell you what was helpful is it was helpful that I’d also labored without epidural because I knew where to push the energy into. Like you have to push into your butt, basically, which doesn’t feel quite right.
Elliot: Not intuitive, yeah.
Isabella: Not what you want to be doing, but that’s where you’re meant to push the pressure.
Elliot: The baby does kind of back out first and then come forward.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: You have to push back first.
Isabella: Exactly. So, I was doing that. Even though I couldn’t entirely feel it, that’s where I was directing my pushing energy. So, I was doing that, I was pushing with my nurse, and then my doctor came in. He saw me go through a surge and he was like, “Okay. This baby is coming. Your pushing is looking great.” He checked me. He could feel baby’s head, but he could also feel that she had her hand up —
Elliot: Oh, no. Now, you have the trifecta.
Isabella: Another thing.
Elliot: Blockages here. At this point, is the cervical lip gone?
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: Is the baby rotated into a better position?
Isabella: No.
Elliot: So, posterior, skull against your spine, and hand up by the face.
Isabella: Yeah, yeah.
Elliot: Dreaming.
Isabella: I was like, “Great.”
Elliot: Alright. Just quickly, two thoughts that popped through my head. One is what position are you in while you’re pushing here?
Isabella: I was on my back at this point with my knees up.
Elliot: Like legs up, stirrup kind of thing.
Isabella: Very classic hospital position.
Elliot: And then, my other question was along the way, did anybody think that you were going to end up in a cesarean birth
Isabella: No one mentioned the word C-section.
Elliot: Okay. So, you never felt like this wasn’t going to be vaginal?
Isabella: No. And, I knew that if this pushing stage went on too long, that they would bring that up.
Elliot: Bring it up, yeah.
Isabella: And, I really didn’t want to because I felt like I could do it. So, I was just putting everything that I had into that pushing. I was just like, “I’m getting this baby out of me through my vagina.”
Elliot: Yeah. So, if the baby’s by the head, is there any practical advice with that?
Isabella: The doctor was amazing. He basically, while I was pushing, he was able to get in there and he basically just sort of swiped her hand down from her face to her chest. So, her head was able to just come out on its own.
Elliot: Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Isabella: So, he just maneuvered her a little.
Elliot: Oh. Okay.
Isabella: Yeah. I mean, that totally helped because then her head started coming out and I could feel it.
Elliot: Feel it with your body or feel it with your hand?
Isabella: Feel it with my body. I didn’t feel it with my hand. I was holding my knees at that point.
Elliot: Did they bring the mirror?
Isabella: I had the mirror until the doctor arrived because then it was obstructually awkward. But, I actually liked having the mirror there. It helped because I could see things happening.
Elliot: Yeah.
Isabella: Yeah, it helped me.
Elliot: The visual is important.
Isabella: Yeah, I agree. But, yeah. Once I felt her head coming out, it was strange. It was like, “Oh, this sensation…” but the sensation kept going. I was like, “Oh, my God. That’s her head.” And, everyone was excited around me and starting to cry. And, I was like, “Oh, my God, it’s happening” I could barely believe that it was happening myself because I’d been going through it for so long. And then, her head came out. And then the doctor told me to stop. And, they used some oil on you —
Elliot: To avoid tearing.
Isabella: Exactly. And then, her little body just like one more push, and then she just came out.
Elliot: Oh.
Isabella: Oh, my God. It was the most emotional thing. The nurse was crying, my midwife, my mom, Aaron, me. I was bawling. There’s the most ugly cry photos of me when she came out.
Elliot: Oh. I can’t wait to see those.
Isabella: They’re not cute.
Elliot: Who cares. It’s a cute moment.
Isabella: No. There’s nothing cute about it. It was so emotional. Oh, my gosh.
Elliot: I can feel it right now.
Isabella: Yeah, yeah. It was a lot. It was a lot.
Elliot: You worked hard for this one.
Isabella: Yeah, I know. And, you know what, the entire time the baby’s heart rate stayed around the 140s.
Elliot: Strong like mama.
Isabella: I know. I was like this strong patient baby. She wasn’t distressed. And, I think that’s why we stayed at home as long as we did. It’s like the baby was fine, absolutely fine.
Elliot: You made a prediction on size. You said 7.2.
Isabella: Yes, and I remember you said bigger.
Elliot: I said 8.
Isabella: She was 6 pounds 14 ounces.
Elliot: Dang.
Isabella: I know. I was surprised. I was like, I’m having a larger baby than I’d like to.
Elliot: I don’t think that you didn’t. I mean, I was wrong. Wow, that’s interesting because I’ve been doing this for almost 20 years and I never get the gender right and I don’t really get the size right either.
Isabella: You’re so intuitive.
Elliot: Yeah. I feel it. Alright. Well, I just guess in a quick moment, I would ask two questions. One is how is the postpartum? We started this and you were just feeding your baby. How’s the breastfeeding going? How old’s the baby now?
Isabella: She’s on day nine of life.
Elliot: Oh, wow. Okay.
Isabella: Yeah. Breastfeeding has been great. Honestly, she latched really quickly in the hospital. I went through a couple of days like day three and four like my nipples are definitely sore. My midwife also happens to be a lactation consultant.
Elliot: She’s huge on lactation.
Isabella: So nice because she helped me with any issues. She was like, “Send me photos.” I sent her the close-ups of my nipples and all the things, and she’d give me all the tips and helped me a lot. But yeah, breastfeeding has been great. Feeding on demand. She eats a lot. She’s a happy baby. She’s already like 7 pounds 8 ounces.
Elliot: Oh, wow. Still not my predicted birth weight, but still.
Isabella: She’s getting up there.
Elliot: So, my final two questions. One is, what, if anything, did you learn about you, about your partner, about life from the experience?
Isabella: I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I came out of this whole experience feeling so empowered and just honestly feeling like I could do anything. Nothing phases me right now. I went through a really intense few days and I saw a side of myself that I didn’t know I had. It’s very animalistic. Like it just comes out. You’re like this mama bear and you’ll do and go through anything to get your baby here.
And then, same with my husband was just a literal angel like I could not love him more. Having him, just as he is, he’s such a good human, and was there for me, and was not grossed out by anything. He was down in the action like wanted to be there just allowed me to fully lean into it, and open up, and be myself, and not feel awkward. There was just no shame, or judgment, or anything like that. So I was yeah, it was really special definitely.
Elliot: Really beautiful. Very cool. Very cool. You said “mama bear.” It reminded me of when you said koala bear in one of our sessions. And, I was like, “Oh, koala bear.” I don’t know if you realize this, but they’re kind of mean. Most of them have chlamydia.
Isabella: Yeah. It’s true.
Elliot: Yeah. It’s cute. But, I mean — And, I was like, “Wait a second. First of all, I had no idea.” Not good for tourism. I’m just going to say right now. But also, I was trying to put that trio together because it sounds so familiar. Then I remembered, it’s all the girls from high school. So cute, but they could be so mean to me. And, I’m sure some of them have chlamydia I’m sure.
Isabella: For sure.
Elliot: Yeah. I guess the last big old question is maybe too soon nine days afterwards on round two, would you do anything different?
Isabella: Round two, I’m for sure going to go for a home birth again round two. I’m not scared of the experience. I know it’s going to go differently. I think what I’ll do differently is I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just watch my positioning throughout my pregnancy. Maybe I was — I don’t know. It’s funny, we always take the blame on ourselves and her position was her position . But, was I sitting too much? Was I slumping too much? That comes to my mind. Maybe I should have done more Spinning Babies or whatever. I don’t know. I really felt like I was doing as much as I could throughout my pregnancy.
Elliot: No, there’s like a million things about that. You definitely, from day one, the first time I met you, you have the athletic pelvis. You have a very strong musculature that was also quite tight. It takes time for babies to push through that. Even if you’re at 10 centimeters, even if your cervix is open, it takes time for your baby, a lot more time to push through that than someone who is not strong, or not tight, or weakened type. Those babies come out easier.
If your baby’s not 100% lined up with the runway, which clearly points wasn’t, then it’s a lot more effort to maneuver through you than somebody else. I mean, it’s not extremely surprising. The good news I can tell you is this. When I’ve seen this exact scenario in the past, around two-tenths ago, a heck of a lot easier.
So, I guess you have to have a baby so we can do a follow-up podcast and see if I’m at least right about that.
Isabella: You’re going to have to wait a little while.
Elliot: I’ll give you three months.
Isabella: No, oh, my God.
Elliot: Isabella, you’re an amazing person. I just noticed all the mushrooms on whatever it is that you’re wearing there.
Elliot: My mushroom robe.
Isabella: Your mushroom robe.
Elliot: And, that’s a reminder, Fungirl mushrooms. Your mushroom fanatic. And, eat, and live, and breathe the medicinal power of mushrooms, and you put them into your cool products. Where can we find you online?
Isabella: You can find me at @fungirl on Instagram, Facebook. You can find all the mushroom things there.
Elliot: Amazing. Can we find the mushroom robe there?
Isabella: Unfortunately, not.
Elliot: Not yet.
Isabella: Nope, not yet. Maybe in the pipeline.
Elliot: See what I did there? Okay. We will find you there online. And, if you’re looking for us online, the Instagram is going to be @doctorberlin, D-O-C-T-O-R-B-E-R-L-I-N. But, we are literally going live right now with our new streaming platform, Informed Pregnancy Plus, which you can find at informedpregnancy.tv. And, this week, we’re going to do a video version of your birth story. The one thing I now can’t wait to see is the little pictures of you all weepy. Tears of joy.
Isabella: They’re so ugly.
Elliot: Ugly sweater pictures. And, that is going to be at, again, informedpregnancy.tv.
by Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Project | Jan 10, 2023 | Podcast Transcripts, Pregnancy
Elliot: Welcome to the Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Elliot Berlin. My guest today is a nutritionist and founder of medicinal mushroom-focused company, Fungirl, who is currently pregnant with her first child and planning a home birth with a midwife and her mother as her doula. Isabella Zar, welcome to the podcast.
Isabella: Hello. Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here.
Elliot: Oh. I can’t wait to pique your brain about all things that I know nothing about. But before we get to that, you are just holding up your other doula.
Isabella: Yes, this is my assistant doula. If my mom doesn’t make it in time from Australia, then he’s going to step in, my 8-pound dog.
Elliot: What kind of doggie?
Isabella: He’s a Maltese Yorkie, a Morkie.
Elliot: A Morkie.
Isabella: A Morkie.
Elliot: A Morkie. Excellent. He looks doula-like, so it’s fun for me to always meet another male doula.
Isabella: Oh, yeah. There’s not many of you on the field, so.
Elliot: We’re in limited supply. Let’s start with the beginning. You don’t sound like a New Yorker. Where are you from?
Isabella: I am from Australia. I grew up in Sydney and moved here three and a half years ago. And yeah, I definitely have like a, not a super strong accent, so some people kind of like find it hard to decipher exactly where I’m from but, yeah, Australian.
Elliot: I think the initial confusion is Australia or New Zealand.
Isabella: Yes, that’s an easy one that people make all the time.
Elliot: And then, if we’re getting a little bit more, it’s like, is that South Africa, maybe it’s somewhere in the United Kingdom.
Isabella: Yeah, I get the UK a lot. My parents aren’t Australian, which is why I believe I sound the way I sound. My dad’s German, my mom was born in New Zealand, so neither of them have crazy strong Australian accents either. So, I didn’t have.
Elliot: Okay. But they have a mix of sort of European and a little fish-and-chips New Zealand over there.
Isabella: Yeah, and then, the islands.
Elliot: Very confusing.
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: But it kind of explains you a little bit. You’re kind of a nice blend of all things interesting.
Isabella: Thank you.
Elliot: All right. What brought you to the U.S., Los Angeles in particular about three years ago?
Isabella: My husband, the main reason. We met and got married really quickly. It was all within like a few months, really. I think like three, four months after meeting, spending time together, we got married. And then, I finished my degree, I finished studying back home in Australia. And then, I moved over to LA to start a life here with him.
Elliot: That’s really quick even for my people. Orthodox Jews usually go on two dates, and then, decide if they’re going to keep it or not. And if they do, a few more dates, and then, they’re married very quickly, you’re competing with that.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Why so fast? How’d you meet?
Isabella: We met at a cafe. We’ll come back to this cafe as well because it’s also part of like how I got into what I’m doing.
Elliot: Oh, foreshadowing.
Isabella: Yeah. But we met at this little vegan cafe called Orchard Street in Bondi. I was sitting there at the bar, having a drink. My friend worked there at the time, and I was crying over my ex-boyfriend, who I had just broken up with. And then, he walked in and sat next to me. I don’t know, the timing was like very special. And that he was only there for like another 12 hours or something before he caught a flight. And we met and kind of just hit it off pretty quickly.
Elliot: Kind of can’t wait to see the movie.
Isabella: Honestly, it would make such a good movie. I just need to write a script.
Elliot: That’s what I’m saying, wow. All right. What you do now is you’re a nutritionist, and you’ve created a medicinal mushroom-focused company called Fungirl. In the second segment, we’re going to talk all about that. But you guys got together, got married very quickly. And now, you’re pregnant. So, how long ago was it that you met?
Isabella: Well, it’s been three years now, over three and a half years.
Elliot: So, you waited a second before having the baby.
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: By choice?
Isabella: Yeah. It was definitely by choice. I’m 28 right now. I always knew that I wanted to have kids young, but it was interesting. As soon as I got married, I had this shift because I was like, “Oh wow, I could actually have babies right now. Like, I’m married, I have a husband. Like, I feel safe enough that I could have kids with this person.” It kind of made me retract from that feeling all of a sudden I was like, “Oh, maybe I’m good for a while, actually. Don’t want to quite dip my toe into that pool just yet.” Yeah, I was 25 when we got married. Having kids that quick was not what I wanted in the end. And plus, it gave us time to just be a couple, and be together. Like, we barely knew each other. We were like strangers reading vows to each other. It was really special to have that time of our relationship, just getting to know each other without a baby.
Elliot: I have a question about that, too. But I just had an image of my head, where you’re kind of at the altar, and you’re like whispering as you’re, “Who’s that?” “Oh, that’s my brother.”
Isabella: Okay. So, we didn’t even have a wedding. We just eloped at Santa Barbara Courthouse.
Elliot: Oh, wow. Well, that’s what I was going to ask you also. This whole thing kind of is pandemic-y.
Isabella: It was pre-pandemic.
Elliot: When you got married?
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: Okay. And then, okay. You get married, the world falls apart, and then, you wait a year or two and have a baby?
Isabella: Yeah. We really got to know each other during COVID, like most people. So, that was like a good, intensive time, just sped up.
Elliot: Are your families, I mean, were they there, or just the two of you?
Isabella: No. It was the two of us, and then, one of his closest friends married us. And then, his wife was there as well.
Elliot: Oh. His closest friend’s wife, not your husband’s wife?
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: It was just four of us.
Elliot: It was the four of you. A double date, but it started different than it ended.
Isabella: Yeah. It honestly wasn’t really planned that well, either. We knew that we were going to get married sometime within this two-week period. For visa reasons, we had to do it within a time frame.
Elliot: Oh. This sounds like “90 Day Fiancé.”
Isabella: Basically. But we woke up one morning, we were in Santa Barbara. We were doing this whole wine-tasting trip with our friends. And we woke up, and we were like, “Okay, maybe this is the day. Like, let’s just walk over to the courthouse, see what we like.” And all of a sudden, we’re just like getting married. It just like happened.
Elliot: Wow. That’s my other question. How do your families take that?
Isabella: Well, they knew that we got engaged, so. It was funny. I remember because we went on a trip to Byron Bay, when we were still in Australia, spending time together. And no one had met him, none of my friends, none of my family. And I came back from this trip engaged. And I sat down at my parents with my mom and my dad, and I was like, “Oh, Mom, I have to tell you something.” And she was like, “What?” And she’s like mid-eating a salad, she’s like, “Are you pregnant?” I was like, “No, I’m not quite. I’m engaged.” And her face was just so like she couldn’t understand why. She’s like, “I don’t get it.” She hadn’t met him. No one had met him. It was a little confusing at first, but.
Elliot: Yeah. As a dad, I would be like, “What?”
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: I don’t have a clear vision of how it’s going to go, but I do sort of have some kind of expectation that we’ll meet, you know, the old traditional, like I asked my father-in-law, before I proposed to my wife, you know, for “his permission,” for her hand in marriage. If I remember correctly, he said, “No,” but I asked, at least. I asked.
Isabella: Did it anyway.
Elliot: Yeah. So, yeah, I could see the shock. I can almost see how pregnancy would be less shocking.
Isabella: Yeah. Honestly, it would have been, if I was just like accidentally pregnant. I think that would have been way more like, “Oh, oops.”
Elliot: Yeah. Okay. So, did you have a celebration with family at some later point, or?
Isabella: We did. We did something in Australia with my closest friends and family. And then, we had an engagement party in America, when I came over, right before we got married.
Elliot: Okay, so all bases covered.
Isabella: Exactly. We always wanted to have a wedding. And then, by the time I moved over here, it was like three months. And then, COVID happened, no one was traveling. And then, all of a sudden, we’re married for three and a half years. And it’s like, we’re such old news like, that’s not exciting anymore.
Elliot: Yeah.
Isabella: So, I don’t know.
Elliot: You might as well wait seven more years, and have a party when you renew your vows.
Isabella: That’s exactly what we’ve said. We’ll just do a vow renewal party.
Elliot: Just the four of you.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: All right. Let’s take a little break. When we come back, I am so curious to know about these mushrooms. Don’t go anywhere. We will be right back.
[break]
Elliot: Welcome back to the Informed Pregnancy Podcast. We’re talking to Isabella Zar. And okay, tell me about mushrooms. How did you get into this, nutrition? You’re very fit, your body’s very strong and healthy, how did that all begin and involve?
Isabella: Well, I guess it kind of goes back to how I was brought up. My parents are kind of more on the earthy side, you know. We never had Advil and things like that in the house. I remember as a kid, whenever I had a toothache, my mom would give me the head of a clove, and she’d crush it onto the tooth that was aching. And it’s a natural astringent, so it would create a little numbing effect. So, that was kind of the feel in our household. It was very natural.
Elliot: Yeah, your food is medicine.
Isabella: Exactly. My parents had a restaurant when they moved to Australia. So, cooking with fresh, healthy food was always really important to my parents, and I just grew up seeing that. And then, I guess, I got more and more interested in food, as I started getting older, I’d cook a lot with my dad.
And then, when I was about 15, I started modeling. And that’s when I became more aware of the physical side of me. I mean, you’re always aware of your physical side, obviously. But it was different. All of a sudden, it was like, really about the way I looked and my body and my face and how I took care of myself. And I definitely took that to an extreme, I think. As a young girl, that can kind of mess with you. So, I definitely developed some eating disorder kind of things. I had a funny relationship with food for a long, long time. But that almost triggered my interest in healthy eating even more. So, it was like, it became a little obsessive.
But then, I had a switch when I was about 19. I remember just feeling so disconnected from myself. And I was in this world that was completely unhealthy and was glamorized. And it was anything but that. And I just remember wanting nothing to do with it. I really didn’t. So, I just kind of like quit anything fashion-related and modeling. And I started Googling courses of like, what can I do with food and healthy cooking and blah, blah, blah. And I came across like a nutrition college in Sydney. And I didn’t even know it was a thing, becoming a nutritionist. I mean, I’d seen dietitians growing up, but nutrition, I didn’t know was a career path that I could even explore. So, that was when it kind of all started. I remember enrolling in this course. And three months later, I was taking it, and I just became obsessed.
Elliot: Okay, a bunch of questions. Number one, what kind of restaurant did your parents have?
Isabella: It was in The Rocks in Sydney. And it was kind of just like modern Australian but had a European influence because my dad was from Germany. He liked to get creative with food.
Elliot: Yeah. That’s a hard tagline for marketing purposes.
Isabella: It’s definitely not a one-liner.
Elliot: And then, do you have siblings?
Isabella: I’ve got two brothers, an older brother and a younger one.
Elliot: Oh, right. So, you’re the cream in the Oreo cookie.
Isabella: I’m right in the middle.
Elliot: Do either of your brothers have kids?
Isabella: Yes. My older brother has three kids.
Elliot: Oh, wow. You have some catching up to do.
Isabella: Yeah. And then, my younger brother is six weeks behind me, having his first.
Elliot: No kidding? Okay, wow.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Okay, so your parents are going to be busy.
Isabella: They’re going to be so busy. I mean, that’s five grandkids by the end of the year. That’s a lot.
Elliot: It’s a lot of nappies to change.
Isabella: Well, sadly, luckily for them, I’m not nearby. They don’t have to change any nappies for me, but.
Elliot: No, yeah, you can’t really do virtual nappy changing.
Isabella: Sadly, no. We got to figure out a way.
Elliot: And when you were modeling, what kind of modeling were you doing?
Isabella: A lot of like e-commerce stuff like magazines, clothing labels. Nothing crazy. I was doing it part-time, and I did it for a few years.
Elliot: And were there elements about it that were a bad experience for you, or did you not like what the industry sort of projects for other women? Or both?
Isabella: Both. Honestly, going into it, I remember thinking it was just the most glamorous thing that you could do. It was like, “Oh my gosh. Like you see these women, and they’re gorgeous, and they’re done up, and it looks so fun from the outside.” And listen, it was fun. I had a ton of fun. But I also think it made me grow up really quickly because I was surrounded by people that were much older than me, had been in the industry for a long time. And then, it created this really unhealthy relationship between me and my body.
Elliot: And you wanted something different. It’s pretty cool that at that age, and in that glamor, you were able to realize that and walk away from it.
Isabella: Yes. I’ve always been told that I’m an old soul. So, I kind of was just like the quiet one that would just see things, and I’d really like take it in and listen, and also very intuitive. And it got to a point, where it didn’t feel right anymore like, something’s not good here.
Elliot: Unlike your parents’ restaurant, I think old soul is a great tagline for you like, having to spend time with you, there’s this like deep sense of maturity and observation and understanding that I’m almost envious of.
Isabella: Thank you.
Elliot: It’s cool. And it’s one of your like puzzle pieces, that make you a very interesting puzzle. Okay, so that’s 19 then, you’ve had that realization, you are excited about nutrition, where does it go from there?
Isabella: Yes. So, I’m deep in my course. It was four years. And I remember, we touched base on mushrooms at one point. No idea where it was. But mushrooms did come up for a little bit. There were certain topics we kind of like brushed over quickly. But I remember learning about them and being really fascinated. And I ended up kind of diving into them more myself just on the side. And then, what coincided with that is I actually started working at that cafe, where I met my now-husband. And I took my old friend’s job. So, she left the cafe, I took her job at this cafe, while I was studying.
And it’s kind of similar to Moon Juice, a little different, a big focus on adaptogens, you’d make certain lattes with adaptogens and mushrooms. And it was so fun. People would come in, and they’d ask for something specific to help them with a certain feeling. So, someone came in, they’re like, “I’m feeling like super fatigued today. Like, what powders can you give me to help with that?” And I’d be like, “Oh, perfect, let’s give you a little like cordyceps for energy and some maca to like give you that spark. So, I got to play this role of helping people with whatever they were going through by choosing from my wall of alchemy powders behind me. It was so fun so that just drove that passion even deeper.
Elliot: And it’s all food-based, plant-based?
Isabella: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re all —
Elliot: So, it’s not like snake venom and other weird things like that?
Isabella: Yeah, no, definitely plant-based.
Elliot: Okay. So, I can see how that gets even more excited about using the medicinal power of food to help people.
Isabella: Oh, yeah. And I started feeling the differences myself as I started taking these powders as well. For example, lion’s mane is a mushroom, my favorite, favorite mushroom. It’s so incredibly good for your brain. It literally increases the growth of neurotransmitters in your brain. So, just like, it makes you fire much more optimally than you normally do, but not in like a caffeine kind of way. It just gives you this like brain boost. It increases your memory and focus and concentration.
So, I remember when I started taking lion’s mane consistently, every day, and then, I’d stop for a couple of days, I felt that dip, and I was like, “Whoa. I’m not functioning as well as I was like a week ago.” So, that’s when I started to really kind of feel the difference myself. Sometimes, it’s hard like, if we take so many supplements and things and it’s like, “Well, what is actually working?” Sometimes, I was feeling the difference firsthand, and that was insane to me.
Elliot: I have that same exact experience with vitamin S and vitamin P. I sometimes take one, sometimes, take the other, you know, Starbucks or Pete’s Coffee. And then, if I don’t take it for a day, so I feel the dip.
Isabella: You definitely feel the dip from that.
Elliot: But lion’s mane coffee, that could be my new venture. I have a question. So, do any of these mushrooms have the hallucinogenic or psychedelic effects?
Isabella: Yes. I mean not the ones that I’m using at the cafe.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: I mean, there’s so many different types of mushrooms. So, you’ve got the ones that are psychedelic with psilocybin, and then, you have the ones that are not. I started playing with the ones that were not psychedelic at the beginning for years. And it wasn’t until I actually came to the States that I first started trying psilocybin mushrooms, the psychedelic ones.
Elliot: We have that effect on a lot of people.
Isabella: Apparently, you guys do. You guys like them a little bit here, which I’m all for.
Elliot: We like not feeling like ourselves.
Isabella: Yeah, apparently.
Elliot: Had you been experimenting with other drugs as a teenager?
Isabella: Oh like, you know, smoking weed and things like that, but like, nothing crazy like, not mind-altering things.
Elliot: Okay. You have to get creative with the movie script.
Isabella: Exactly. A couple of things in there.
Elliot: So, in your experimentation with more psychedelic mushrooms, what was your experience with them?
Isabella: I didn’t know what to expect. I’m trying to think the first time I took them. I can’t really pinpoint the first time.
Elliot: That might be because you were high on mushrooms.
Isabella: Maybe. I think I was in Big Sur, which was the perfect place to take them, to be honest, surrounded by nature, with people that you feel safe with, in the right environment. Like, that is everything like, set and setting, where you are and then, also, how you’re feeling yourself, so.
Elliot: How do you consume them physically?
Isabella: Different ways. You can eat them raw, literally, like it could be a dried mushroom, and you can just eat some of that. That’s what I would do at first. I really liked, they’re super earthy tasting like, really tastes like they’re just from the ground, which they are.
Elliot: They are.
Isabella: But I liked that taste. So, I would just eat them dried and raw. But some people grind them up into powders. And you can have them in different forms in chocolate and honey and capsules.
Elliot: My first thought would be pizza.
Isabella: Oh, yeah. Pizza is a great way to go.
Elliot: Thank you. In fact, because your company is called Fungirl, which you’re going to talk about in a second, but if I could think of another venture, I would open a medicinal mushroom pizza store. And here’s my name for it, Funguy.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: So, perfect. Funguy, from mushrooms or fungi.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: And maybe we need a sibling to your company. Okay.
Isabella: So, do you have lion’s mane pizza?
Elliot: Yes. So, sharks. Okay.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: All right. So, you’re experimenting with the more fun mushrooms, and where does that lead you?
Isabella: Oh, man. There’s a lot that came from playing with them. At first, I guess, when I would take them, it was definitely more an environment with friends. It was social. I just noticed that people were using them a lot recreationally. And they open you up, like they’re expanders. They open up your mind, and you’re hot. And honestly, the person I am today, I’m very different to how I was three years ago. And I have to pay a lot of that to my use of psilocybin. I think it just opened me up as a person. And it just showed me how to be more empathetic and caring and slow down and see the world for what it has to offer and what it is. And it just helped me grow a lot. So, for me, they’re really special. And they’re sacred.
So, I started to feel this shift and not wanting to use them in such recreational settings. So, I like pulled it back. And then, I started playing with microdosing them, so you just have a really small dose, 0.1 of a gram every day. You do it for like a couple of days. And you take a break. I mean, that’s like taking any sort of supplement, you know, but this was like really good for your brain. Like, you can function throughout the day. It’s not like you’re taking some substance that’s tripping you out or anything. You don’t even feel the dose at that stage. So, it’s like, I could still walk and do this podcast and microdose, not that I am now because I’m pregnant, but the point is, you could take a low dose and reap the benefits from them. It helps with anxiety and depression and PTSD and a ton of things like that.
Elliot: I have two thoughts about that. Number one, it seems like it’s going to be a tiny pizza.
Isabella: It’s going to be minuscule.
Elliot: And then, number two is it seems like half of all Americans are on medicine for those things anyway, anxiety, depression, and whatnot.
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: So, going back to food is medicine, microdosing some mushrooms seems like not a crazy idea.
Isabella: No, it’s not. I know a ton of people that have gone from taking prescription medications for certain things switch to microdosing and not even needed their other meds anymore. And they’re feeling better than they ever have.
Elliot: Yeah.
Isabella: It’s really powerful.
Elliot: Since we’re based in America, I would say, don’t make any changes without consulting your doctor. I’ve never done, I don’t think, ever any kind of recreational drug, and you’re selling it well.
Isabella: Thank you.
Elliot: You’re selling it very well. I want to feel the way you described open on the inside and just take off some of the tough boundaries that I’ve built up over the years to be protective and defensive and in the harsh world. Your company is not about those mushrooms. They’re medicinal, but not psychedelic. Is there any other big takeaway from your time with the psychedelic mushrooms?
Isabella: I can wish everyone could be taking them. I think the world would be a very different place if we were.
Elliot: You know, I feel like there should be a filter for certain people, you know, like someone with road rage. And then, this guy with road rage and this is guy who would have had road rage on a fun mushroom.
Isabella: Uh-huh, be very different version.
Elliot: Ah, this is what my life is like on Instagram, and this is my real life. It’s the exact opposite. Okay. Let’s talk about Fungirl. So, your passion here has led you to continue trying to help people with the power of [indiscernible 00:26:15] medicine. What kind of products have you developed?
Isabella: Yes, so I have got a range of chocolate bars, medicinal mushroom chocolate bars, which are clean, organic, vegan.
Elliot: There’s no milk?
Isabella: No, they don’t even need it. Next time I see you, I’m going to bring you some to try.
Elliot: Okay, fine.
Isabella: You won’t even miss the milk. And I’m not even vegan. But if I’m going to have a treat, I want it to be clean. It’s not even milk. It’s like a milk solid when it’s in a chocolate bar. And just like, it makes you feel funny, so.
Elliot: I feel funny anyway. Are there different ones for different things?
Isabella: Yes, so I launched with my first one, which is called the Mane Bar.
Elliot: I know what’s in there.
Isabella: You know it’s my favorite, lion’s mane. And that was all about being like a brain bar. So, the whole idea behind Fungirl was I wanted people to be able to incorporate mushrooms into their day-to-day, even if it’s in a smaller amount, you know, like, “Okay, if you take a mushroom coffee, great. You get a little there. If you want some chocolate at night time, have some Fungirl. You get a little there.” So, you’re getting more than you think you are. So, yeah. So, I made the lion’s mane bar. And that was all about giving you like a brain boost, getting that dose.
And then, people really wanted more of an all-encompassing one. So, I ended up doing the Mushpit Bar, which is four different mushrooms. You’ve got lion’s mane, reishi, cordyceps, and chaga. So, that gives you a real boost of all those four mushrooms in the chocolate.
Elliot: Is it the Mushpit? M-U-S-H?
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Oh, very cute, I like all your names.
Isabella: Thank you. So, yeah, so that’s what I launched Fungirl with. And they’ve evolved, you know, when I launched it, the packaging was different, the chocolate was different. And now, it’s at a point, where I’m, you know, hate to be biased, but they taste really good. And they’re doing well. People really love them, just a nice healthy treat to have.
Elliot: Are they contraindicated during pregnancy?
Isabella: You know, there aren’t any studies. Like most things with pregnancy, they just haven’t done any studies on women and mushrooms, women being pregnant taking mushrooms. I’m still taking mushrooms in powder form and in the chocolate. I just have way smaller amounts.
Elliot: Okay. And you’re taking these kind of mushrooms.
Isabella: Not the psychedelic ones, no.
Elliot: Okay. Well, color me curious, made me wonder, but I could almost already taste the passion that’s in your product, knowing that it comes from personal experience, personal evolvement, and wanting other people to get the benefits out of them that you do. That’s really cool. How pregnant are you? How many weeks are you?
Isabella: 39 weeks.
Elliot: Okay. So, according to my calculator, you’re going to be a mom pretty soon.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Let’s take one more break, and when we come back, we’ll find out what’s in store for your birth.
[ Music ]
Elliot: Welcome back to the podcast. During the break, I realized I’m hungry for chocolate and mushrooms now, so thank you.
Isabella: You’re welcome.
Elliot: You’re 39 weeks, going to have a baby soon. What’s your plan?
Isabella: My plan is to rest until this child comes. I’m having a home birth. I have my midwife, Katie Hamilton, who I feel so lucky to have found.
Elliot: Angel from heaven.
Isabella: Oh, she’s the best, honestly, feel very aligned with her.
Elliot: I feel compelled to ask this question since less than 2% of people in America have babies at home. Why?
Isabella: I was a home birth, both of my brothers were a home birth. My mom, she is a former doula, birth educator. She’s been in the birth world for a really, really long time. And so, natural birth is just what I grew up with and what I saw as normal.
Elliot: How much younger is your younger brother?
Isabella: Two years younger and then, my older brother’s six years older.
Elliot: Were you at the birth of your little brother?
Isabella: I was, yeah. I don’t remember it. But I was somewhere in the house.
Elliot: Okay. You had an exposure from a very young age to birth, like being a normal natural kind of thing.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Okay.
Isabella: I remember being a kid and when people would ask, “Where were you born?” I was so embarrassed that I was born at home. But it’s so hippie and weird. I would lie, and I’d make up like the nearest hospital, St John’s or whatever.
Elliot: It’s kind of interesting. We had our fourth baby at home. And we rent our house, our landlord has the house right next door, and he lives there. So, I came out one morning, and I’m like, “Hey, [indiscernible 00:31:13] we had a boy.” And he’s like, “Oh, really? Tell me what room Melissa is in,” my wife, you know, “at the hospital, because we’ll send flowers.” I’m like, “Oh, she’s, at the moment, in our bedroom.” And he’s like, “What? When did you have the baby? She’s already home?” I’m like, “Well, we had the baby at home.” He’s like, “You didn’t make it to the hospital in time?” I’m like, “We planned to have the baby at home.” And at that second, like his brain went to a completely different area, which was like, “Oh, my goodness. How are the floors?”
Isabella: Yeah, being the landlord.
Elliot: I think that’s where he went. But he wasn’t thinking about the floors when he thought we did it by accident. It was only like when we planned to have the baby at home, he’s like, “I want my floors.” Anyway, so, yes, whatever, like I said, less than 2% of people do it. In my community, it’s a lot less common.
Isabella: That’s a small percentage. I didn’t realize that’s what it was. That’s low.
Elliot: Yeah, it’s low. You’re weird. So, in your mind, what are the pros and cons of home birth? And as a follow-up, what are you excited about or nervous about?
Isabella: Pros and cons, you know, I didn’t immediately decide on a home birth. That actually took me a minute to get there. But when I would think about giving birth in a hospital and that environment, I just knew that it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be somewhere like sterile with hundreds of people that you didn’t know running around and this sense of emergency, and knowing that I would be on this time limit. Like, hospitals are a business. Like, they’re trying to get people in and out. And I get that. But I know that birth is also this mysterious thing that could happen in 20 minutes or 45 hours, you know. It’s like you can’t put a time limit on it. So, I never wanted that feeling.
And also, it’s like the hospital to me, I’m like, “That’s where people go when they’re sick,” you know. Birth is sacred. And I’m excited to experience it in its natural form. But yeah, it took me a minute to get there. I was definitely a little nervous, as you know, I’ve expressed that to you.
So, the pros for me about a home birth, being in your own environment, having all your things around you, not having to rush to the hospital, going at your own pace, you can walk around and eat and drink, jump in the shower, have a bath, lie on the bed, watch a movie, whatever.
Elliot: Snack on mushrooms.
Isabella: Exactly.
Elliot: Whatever you need. And in that sense, what are the cons of home birth?
Isabella: The cons of home birth, for me, there aren’t many, to be honest. I mean, the one that comes to mind is if something actually does go wrong, or there is something that needs medical attention, whether it’s myself or the baby. Well, I mean, there’s a ton that the midwife can do to help with certain things. But if there’s something that the midwife can’t do, I’m not just in the hospital, able to go to the operating room or whatever, and have an emergency C-section or something like that. That’s kind of where I go.
Elliot: First of all, you left out your husband. I can’t tell you how many times it’s the husband who needs medical care from, you know, passing out, smacking their head on the floor. But if any of you do need more hospital-based medical care, do you have a plan for that?
Isabella: The [indiscernible 00:34:38] is like five minutes away, so.
Elliot: Okay, so that’s a hospital, a local hospital right near you.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Okay. This thought goes through my mind a lot, like from when I used to live in Nebraska. Like when you’re in Nebraska, giving birth at a hospital, frequently, there’s no surgeon in the hospital while you’re giving birth there. There’s no anesthesiologist in the hospital where you’re giving birth. They’re not just waiting for a birth crash to happen. If something comes up, they need to assemble a team and get the operating team ready.
And here, [indiscernible 00:35:09], the hospital you referenced has 9,000 babies a year. They always have surgeons and anesthesiologists, and [tox 00:35:16] ready to go. And so, quite conceivably, somebody who lived where you are, having a home birth who needed some sort of intervention quickly, might get it substantially faster than someone giving birth in a hospital in Nebraska.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Right? And I’m not trashing Nebraska. I’m just saying, it’s a practical reality is that when you live in the bigger cities, you have this kind of hospital accessible to you. When you live in smaller out of the big city hospitals, then oftentimes, that’s the scenario. And it’s not like your midwife isn’t trained, like you said to handle certain types of emergencies into stabilize and transport. So, it’s just a food for thought idea.
There are some people who are very excited about home birth and love it. Some people are very not excited about it and hate it. But one thing I think that they don’t think about is that you’re in a place where you have access to care very, very quickly should you need it. If non-emergency, if you felt like for whatever reason you transferred to the hospital to continue laboring there, is that something that you’re okay with if you feel like you need it in the moment?
Isabella: I am. I’ve definitely come to peace with the idea that anything could happen for me. I really didn’t want to have a C-section. That was what I was trying to avoid. But now, I think just throughout my pregnancy, I think your mindset kind of shifts a little. And like, for me, it’s like, “Okay. However this baby comes out, I want to be healthy. I want her to be healthy and both of us to be safe. However that’s done, it’s going to be done.” Like, it’s going to play out how it’s meant to. So, I am okay, if that were to happen, if I were to transfer and continue laboring there. Obviously, that’s not my ideal, that’s not my goal. But I feel like I have to be open to any possibility.
Elliot: Right. It’s not the path that you’re hoping to take to the destination that you’re planning to get to.
Isabella: No, not at all.
Elliot: But if a detour comes up, you’re okay moving to a different way to get from point A to point B.
Isabella: I feel like you have to be, right?
Elliot: You do, but not everybody is.
Isabella: I know. Yes, you’re right.
Elliot: It’s nice that you’re able to. And because you’re incredibly cool, and you’re an open book with no TMI button, you’ve also agreed to do our new program called “My Birth,” where you’ll come back, not only to share your birth experience on the podcast here in an after episode but also, on our new streaming platform and Informed Pregnancy Plus, with pictures and videos. So, we’ll be right there with you. We’ll all be your doula.
Isabella: I know. I’m excited. Even through this decision to have a home birth, it’s definitely opened up a lot of conversations within my own network of friends. So, you know, I’m not pushing anything on anyone, but I hope that I can be an experience that people look to and see this positive home birth story, you know, however it ends up. I hope that I can help inspire people to like at least explore the option, you know.
Elliot: Sure, yeah. And also, I think you’re open-mindedness and flexibility are admirable. And it’s your thing. You look at something 360 and not just focus in on one dot on the picture. So, I think that’s healthy. At your home birth, who’s going to be there?
Isabella: I’m going to have Katie, my midwife, my mom, my doula, and my husband, Aaron.
Elliot: And your Yorkie, your dog.
Isabella: Oh, oh my gosh. How could I forget, my doula assistant, Bubba.
Elliot: Bubba. “This is my doula, Bubba.” Now, that’s going to work well for the movie.
Isabella: He’s great. He’ll be there.
Elliot: He’s a Morkie. That’s what I was going for.
Isabella: Oh yeah, a Morkie.
Elliot: Morkie Bubba.
Isabella: Yes. And then, the midwife will have an assistant, as they usually do. So, that’s four people?
Elliot: Well, it depends, you and your partner.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Your mom.
Isabella: Mom, midwife.
Elliot: Your midwife, your midwife assistant, and your Morkie.
Isabella: Okay.
Elliot: And then, eventually, the baby.
Isabella: Yeah, so six, soon to be seven. That is plenty. Like, I had questions like, “Are you going to have a photographer, a videographer, this, that?” I’m like, “I want as few people there as possible.”
Elliot: Kind of like, when you conceive.
Isabella: Yes, exactly. I want privacy.
Elliot: It’s an intimate experience.
Isabella: Yeah.
Elliot: Okay, cool. Any predictions on the baby’s size?
Isabella: From the patients, my midwife said that it’s a girl. She feels like kind of average size, probably about like 7 pounds right now. So, I’m hoping like a nice 7.2 baby comes out.
Elliot: Okay, my prediction is going to be eight.
Isabella: Really?
Elliot: Does that even change anything, a tiny bit for you? Normal goes up to at least nine and a half.
Isabella: Oh, man.
Elliot: It’s a weird calculation that your brain is doing right now because you’re thinking of two static things, the size of your pelvis and the size of your baby, right?
Isabella: Yes.
Elliot: But neither one of those is a static thing. Your pelvis is a whole bunch of bones connected by soft tissue, like ligaments and cartilage. They can expand and contract quite a bit. I’ve seen smaller, like really petite ballerina girls have a 10.5 pound baby, no problem, by the way, not even tearing. And your baby’s head is not a solid bone either. It’s a bunch of bones that are able to mold through a smaller space. So, sometimes, I think what gets lost is the physiology of how a larger structure can come through small, and your soft tissue also is designed in that neighborhood to expand quite a bit, and then shrink back down to how it was. Perhaps this visual will be helpful, maybe not, but almost like an elevator door, that opens up, somebody comes out, and closes back up again.
Isabella: Yeah. No, you’re completely right. And a mantra that has been helping me is reminding myself that my body is never going to create something that’s too big that it can’t come out. Like our bodies are so smart and complex and whatever’s growing inside of us is able to come out of our bodies.
Elliot: Sure. That might not be exactly true if there was some sort of genetic mishap or something like that. In your case, everything is looking just fine, normal, 8 pounds, 8.5 ounces, totally within the normal realm. It’s just that, your logic brain starts to run away with that and try to figure out all the what-ifs. And that’s where anxiety comes in. So, it’s a natural thought. I’d be worried about you if you never had thoughts like that.
Isabella: Yeah, no, they’re definitely there. Don’t worry.
Elliot: Okay, sweet. Now, I’m not worried about it. Okay. Well, time’s on this gig you’re amazing to talk to. And I’m very excited. I would send you the most positive birth energy possible, you and your six, probably well-fed guest. And I look forward to talking to you on the other side.
Isabella: Yes, me too, excited to share the story on the other side.
Elliot: Where can we find you and, or Fungirl online?
Isabella: Yes, Fungirl, mainly on Instagram @fungirl, website fungirlgoods.com. That’s where you can find all our goodies.
Elliot: Okay, so that’s where we find you online. Great. Listeners, thanks for listening to us. And if you want to find us online, I would go at this point to either informedpregnancy.com, where you are not going to just see our podcasts or access to our documentaries and things like that, our blog which is exploding right now, but all the details about the new Informed Pregnancy Plus String Channel will be there. Alternately, if you’re a visual person, go to Instagram and we’re @doctorberlin, D-O-C-T-O-R-B-E-R-L-I-N.
by Dr. Brandie Elizabeth Keates | Dec 21, 2022 | Health Conditions, Infant Care and Breastfeeding
“The chiropractor looked like a combo of Buddha and Santa Claus. He had the biggest smile and a calm demeanor. He asked if he could examine my daughter, and she teetered up to him like an old friend. The doctor explained something I hadn’t considered: the weight of the cast and unevenness of having a cast on her tiny leg created an issue in her lower back which was throwing off her gait.”
When you found out you were pregnant, one of the joys was joining other expectant parents in groups to commiserate and give each other support. After some time, you start seeing posts about someone taking their little one to the chiropractor. Wha?
Your mind goes back to your college sports career where you had a chiropractor to keep you at your best for playing, but a baby?
I know I thought the same. After my one-year-old child broke her leg and wore a cast up to her hip, she had a significant, adorable waddle that caused people to stop me in the store and ask what was wrong with my child.
After orthopedics suggested rebreaking her leg, putting it in a brace, or injecting it with Botox, someone asked if I had ever considered taking her to a chiropractor. I looked at them like they had two heads; I pictured them cracking my child like they would for an adult and thought it wouldn’t be safe for my child’s tiny spine.
But after seeing four orthopedic doctors, I had no other options so I conceded and made the appointment. I viscerally remember sitting in the parking lot of the clinic with hot tears going down my face. I held my baby’s chubby hand and cried to her father that we were “just gonna go listen. He’s not gonna touch her.”
The chiropractor looked like a combo of Buddha and Santa Claus. He had the biggest smile and a calm demeanor. He asked if he could examine my daughter, and she teetered up to him like an old friend. The doctor explained something I hadn’t considered: the weight of the cast and unevenness of having a cast on her tiny leg created an issue in her lower back which was throwing off her gait. He explained how he would apply a gentle force and asked for our permission. We consented so long as it wouldn’t hurt her and he assured us it wouldn’t. When he had finished the adjustment he set her back on the floor. Just like a fawn, she wobbled a bit and the took a normal step without a limp. I was speechless. This moment set my life on a completely different trajectory. I became a chiropractor myself because it was truly amazing.
Chiropractic care is amazing for a myriad of conditions and many parents see it as a way to improve their child’s wellness. Chiropractors have had great success treating infants’ musculoskeletal conditions like torticollis, latching issues (jaw tightness), sports injuries, and overloading injuries (such as backpacks). There is also anecdotal evidence for successful chiropractic treatments of colic, reflux, ear infections and overall wellness.
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It’s important to understand the difference between adult chiropractic and chiropractic care for your child. Here are some considerations for finding the best chiropractic care for your child:
1) Consent extends to the patient and everyone in the room. The chiropractor should assure everyone in the room that they will not proceed without consent, including that of the child. If your child is not feeling it at the moment, you or your child should not be rushed – you should be encouraged to go take a walk, get a snack, or reschedule for a time your child is on board.
2) Children’s joints are not the same as those of adults. The chiropractor should discuss how the treatments are modified for children and explain what they will do BEFORE they do it.
3) A child doesn’t need a heavy treatment plan. If your chiropractor gives your child a treatment plan that’s longer than a month with more than 2 visits per week, this is a red flag. Children’s nervous systems and structures do not need a lot of treatments. The treatment plan should also include markers to gauge if you are getting the results you want. While healing takes time, you want to see some glimmer of hope early on.
4) Chiropractors are NOT trained to treat emotions, talk about stopping medications, or to tell you not to vaccinate your child. Ultimately, they should NOT override your pediatrician’s recommendations. If there is an issue, your chiropractor should call your child’s pediatrician to discuss their case.
A pediatric-trained chiropractor is a powerful member of your child’s healthcare team who can safely and naturally help keep your child well.
Need a few more minutes alone in the bathroom? Check out a few more posts here!
Dr. Brandie Keates has been a practicing chiropractor for 20 years. She opened her own practice in 2003, right after graduating from Cleveland Chiropractic College. Since struggling with her own difficult pregnancy in 2006, she has been using her knowledge of sports medicine to help pregnant and postpartum patients and their children find safe, effective pain relief. In 2018, she published “What You Don’t Expect When You’re Expecting,” a guide to helping women overcome pregnancy pain. Since then, she’s lectured on pediatric chiropractic care, pregnancy chiropractic care, and consent in chiropractic care. Today, her practice, Experience Chiropractic, is booming; a majority of her patients are pregnant or postpartum. Her mission is to educate and empower women and their healthcare providers.
by Jenna Pastuszek | Nov 16, 2022 | Fertility, Health Conditions, Pregnancy
“This isn’t part of my plan. I’m supposed to be pregnant by now!” Stubbornly, (did I mention I’m Ukrainian?) I refused to accept that I had a medical issue that I couldn’t plan to resolve on my own, so I spent the next nine months decanting smelly herbs, working with acupuncturists, and balancing my qi.”
Ever heard the saying “the best-laid plans of pregnancy can be found in hospital dumpsters”?
Well, now you know where to look for them.
Every single plan I had, from conception to birth to breastfeeding, was trashed. And as I sit here writing this postpartum, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Prior to parenthood, I lived my life by the motto: Failing to plan, is planning to fail. At the start of 2020, I decreed that this would officially be “my year”. It would be the year that ten long years of hustle, sweat, and $400/week theater jobs turned into making my Broadway debut. I’d sign my contract, and then, I’d give myself permission to have a baby.
But no one can properly plan for a global pandemic. So after spending six months locked down in a dilapidated 1-bedroom garden level apartment in Brooklyn, my husband and I packed up our dog, our cat, and as many possessions as we could shove into our 2010 Chevy Traverse and drove across America. With a change of scenery, I planned to save my small business (a voice studio) and pivot from manifesting my Broadway debut to accepting that, for the moment, Broadway was dead.
As we hit the Great Plains, I finally had enough space to hear what my body was trying to tell me. Deep down, I knew I wanted to be a mom- I just planned on being more successful before justifying taking a break. But on a hike in Arches National Park, I heard it: a little voice whispering, “It’s time.” Set to the tune of a ticking biological clock and a giant cloudless sky, I released any hesitations I held about “perfect timing” and tossed my NuvaRing in the trash.
Check out Jenna’s other hilarious blog post here!
I planned on getting pregnant easily, like they made it seem in middle school health class. Wrong. After tossing that ring in September 2020, my period never returned. My plan to get pregnant didn’t transpire for another fourteen months.
After we arrived in LA, I met with an OBGYN who tried a few things to revive Aunt Flo – a 10-day dose of progesterone, a two-week supplement of estrogen, a daily thyroid medication – none of which spared me from her diagnosing my situation as “too problematic for regular care”. She suggested I see a fertility specialist. My mouth dropped. “This isn’t part of my plan. I’m supposed to be pregnant by now!” Stubbornly, (did I mention I’m Ukrainian?) I refused to accept that I had a medical issue that I couldn’t plan to resolve on my own, so I spent the next nine months decanting smelly herbs, working with acupuncturists, and balancing my qi.
Fourteen months later my pulses were slippery, I had given up coffee, built a yoga practice, started meditating, and still no period. I asked my acupuncturist if I should give up. Perhaps I wasn’t strong enough to get pregnant evolutionarily, and my lineage was supposed to die out. He laughed before suggesting that the universe granted me the choice: the choice to accept further medical help or not.
Plans and choices.
Hm.
This guy was good.
I could plan to make a choice.
Exactly one year after I heard the little voice on our cross-country trek, I went to the fertility specialist emboldened with the choice. I was diagnosed with hypothalamic amenorrhea. The gist: I had a ton of eggs, but my brain and ovaries weren’t speaking. So, first I needed to take a medication to help my ovary follicles grow. Once they got big enough, I’d give myself a shot to trigger release an egg, and we’d have “timed intercourse” for 3 days in a row (a big win for my husband). I felt positive about planning a September conception. Giving birth in May would give me enough time to return to work for many summer theater seasons.
My follicles grew, grew, grew, and…wilted. The attempt was deemed unsuccessful. Yet another plan had failed, and I felt discouraged.
We chose to do another round in November. Having a baby in August would thwart my potential summer plans, but I also knew waiting was pushing me further into geriatric pregnancy. Damn biological clock! This time, we added hormone injections and a low dose of progesterone. My follicles grew, and grew, and grew, and we got the go ahead to trigger three nights of marital bliss. These three nights also happened to be the same nights I was making my LA debut workshopping a new musical at Hollywood’s Bourbon Room. I’m not sure if it was the song and dance or the timed intercourse, but my plan finally worked! Two weeks later, I was in New York when the blood test revealed I was pregnant. Facetiming my husband from Times Square, I said, “Ben. I’m on Broadway, and we’re having a baby.”
Getting pregnant was one of the best choices I had ever planned to make, and it was really the only plan that didn’t drastically change throughout my pregnancy. My plan for an unmedicated birth with a lengthy active labor at home turned into a c-section. My plans to flip my breech baby using inversions, moxibustion, and swimming laps straight up failed. My plan to breastfeed was thwarted with a tongue and lip tie. My plan to exclusively pump has been challenged by an undersupply issue.
The moral of my birth story is that attempting to plan and control it has left me with the choice: Do I approach parenting as a decision that I fully control, or is it a relationship between two people (me and my baby)? I can create extensive plans, and ultimately, he will choose how to participate. In a way, by presenting him with the choice, he will help me to create the plan.
So now that Broadway’s open again, I’m still planning to make my debut. Except now, whenever it happens, my son will be there, cheering me on from the front row. On that, he has no choice.
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Jenna Pastuszek (she/her)is a professional actor, singer, voice over artist, musical theatre educator, and voice teacher. Jenna has performed in theatres across America in a variety of mediums, including her acclaimed solo shows GET HAPPY! and ME,MYSELF & BARBRA. She is a voiceover artist, voicing household brands like Starbucks Cafe, Pepsi, Amazon, KIND Bar, Target, IKEA, Crest, Toyota and more. She is the Co-Founder of Innovative Voice Studio, where she trains Broadway performers and works with leaders across industries through Innovative Performance. Previous faculty positions include The University of the Arts, New York University, The American Academy of Dramatic Arts, The American Musical Theatre Academy, and Musical Theater College Auditions. Pastuszek received her Masters in Teaching in Elementary Education and a BA in History and minor in French from the University of Virginia and her Masters in Vocal Performance and Advanced Certificate of Vocal Pedagogy from NYU Steinhardt. She is an Estill Voice International Master Trainer and a graduate of Seth Godin’s altMBA. Learn more at www.jennap.com.
