by Sarah Goldberg | Sep 20, 2023 | Family and Relationships, Health Conditions, Mental Health, Parenting and Child Development
“I was so happy with the way I was handling the new addition that my following depression blew me out of the water. My husband was away on a trip, and I got a new car. Sounds like a good thing, but somehow I found driving a new car with its new buttons and pockets in different places to be overwhelming. To be fair, it was also a nine-seater. I’ll let you sit with that.”
I am a mother of eight. My youngest is 16 months old and my oldest is expecting my first grandchild at 22 years of age. I am extremely blessed. I am also a woman who has experienced multiple episodes of Postpartum Depression (PPD.)
I’m told I’m predisposed to anxiety, which resonates with me. As far as I know, I didn’t experience PPD with my first two births. For what it’s worth, all of them were normal, healthy births. After my third, a lot of things irritated me. A lot! I found my fists clenched all of the time and it took a bit before I realized that wasn’t normal. I wanted to enjoy my baby, husband and other kids but everything set me off. I got a psychiatrist referral from my doctor who promptly prescribed psychotropic meds. I started getting debilitating headaches and was concerned that they were a side effect of the meds. My kids were making a lot of noise when I reached out to the psychiatrist by phone and had my concerns dismissed. He surmised that if he had as many kids as me, and it was so noisy around him, he too would have a headache and hung up. Imagine what he’d say about the five more kids I have now!
Needless to say, I deleted his contact, and told my OB to take him off of his referral list. When a person is in a vulnerable state, she needs understanding and empathy; not cruelty and sarcasm.
Then came baby number five. I had a bit of a bumpy ride leading up to the birth because my parents had divorced a year earlier and my dad was getting remarried. It was a bit dysregulating, (read: one of the hardest experiences of my life emotionally). I mention this because at that time I may have already been in a high stress situation and standing at the edge of the cliff. Maybe, who knows? I had the best time with my baby for four weeks. I was present, my other kids were excited, and they were in camp during the day so I had some time alone with the baby. I even had my dad and stepmom over for the first time. The higher you are, the harder you fall.
I was so happy with the way I was handling the new addition that my following depression blew me out of the water. My husband was away on a trip, and I got a new car. Sounds like a good thing, but somehow I found driving a new car with its new buttons and pockets in different places to be overwhelming. To be fair, it was also a nine-seater. I’ll let you sit with that. When my husband called that evening, I told him I couldn’t breathe because that’s how I felt. I hadn’t realized at the time that I was having a panic attack. I actually think I only figured it out recently.
When he returned home, and I was clear that something was horribly wrong, I tried to find a psychiatrist that I could trust but they all had a minimum two week wait. At this point I was getting desperate. I asked to be hospitalized and was turned down because I wasn’t a danger to myself or anyone else. I did not feel like I could be left at home. All I knew is that I needed to be “fixed” ASAP.
My OB prescribed Xanax to tide me over until a psych appointment. I took one pill and slept for 17 hours straight. When I awoke, I couldn’t follow anything with my eyes. That’s when it all started to fall apart. I couldn’t sleep, even for a minute. You’d think having a one month old would’ve made me tired but I physically could not close my eyes. I couldn’t eat, never mind drink, and I’m usually a stress eater not a starver. My closet seemed too overwhelming for me to choose an outfit so I stayed in pajamas. I couldn’t go near the baby and then I couldn’t even leave my room. Everything seemed so frightening. I felt like the walls were going to cave in, literally. If I hadn’t experienced it myself, I wouldn’t believe it. Now I feel like it’s just a movie I once watched. I was afraid to do things I had been doing for decades because they all seemed overwhelming. The future seemed scary and bleak. Does this mean I can’t have any more kids? Will I ever be able to take care of the baby? Leave the house? Get dressed?? What will my other kids do? It was a dizzying spiral. And then, a friend of mine brought over her friend who had PPD with her first child.
I knew this woman. She had a full life, a normal life. She had a second child after her episode and it all went well. We spoke and she gave me hope, even if it was the tiniest bit. I had some old meds (I do not recommend trying this at home) so I took one. And the world was different. It was so different. I don’t think it’s common for people to turn around as quickly as I did, but I’m grateful. I felt like I could see a way out, and once things were a bit more stable, I was able to wait for my doctor appointment with more ease. I met my superstar psychiatrist, Dr. Jennifer Yashari. She focuses only on the woman’s cycle, so things like PPD, infertility, pregnancy, adoption, menopause etc. She wanted me to get more out of the medication so she made me a cocktail that I’ve been taking ever since.
When the baby was 15 months old, I found myself with a surprise twin pregnancy, yes I know how that sounds. It scared the living daylights out of me. Dr. Yashari reminded me that this time was different. I had knowledge, I was prepared, I had her, my meds, and we were watching. I stayed on the meds throughout the pregnancy, as research has not concluded that it’s dangerous, but unstable mental health definitely is. As far as I know, one of the babies was a bit sleepy for a day and that was the extent of the effects my meds had on the pregnancy. When my life was at its most hectic, with three kids aged two and under, plus another four above them, I was at my most stable.
Eight years later, we went for one more, just for fun. It was the most amazing pregnancy and an awesome postpartum experience. Since then we have also married off a child, are expecting a grandchild and I have been open and honest about my challenges with my kids. My pregnant daughter finds comfort in knowing that I am looking out for her and will do everything to keep her safe. PPD should not be stigmatized; it’s not a guarantee, and it’s treatable. We need to educate our partners and family members to keep their eyes out for anything that seems unusual and have them bring it up in the most gentle of ways. If you or anyone you know is questioning their mental health after giving birth to a baby, reach out to a professional and get evaluated. You are not alone and you won’t be like this forever.
***
This post is written in memory of my superstar OB, Dr. Jay Goldberg. Like many of his patients, I considered him a cherished friend. His days were too few, his accomplishments many, and his loss devastating to those who knew him. He helped bring my lights into this world all the while emanating his own bright light and he is missed by many, every single day.
***
Resources for Postpartum Depression:
The Mayo Clinic – Postpartum Depression
Mental Health America – Postpartum Depression Test (New & Expecting Parents)
NIH, National Library of Medicine – Use of Prescribed Psychotropics during Pregnancy: A Systematic Review of Pregnancy, Neonatal, and Childhood Outcomes
Recurrence Rates and Risk Factors in Perinatal Mood Disorders
Sarah Goldberg is a licensed life coach in private practice. She is on sabbatical while she immerses herself in the joys of raising a toddler and a family of 10. She lives in Los Angeles, where she can be found at a different public playground every day!
She welcomes any questions or opinions on pregnancy, labor, or child raising and can be reached through sarahlgoldberg@gmail.com.
by Eos Rejuvenation (Sponsor) | Mar 22, 2023 | Fitness & Nutrition, Infant Care and Breastfeeding, Mental Health
“…moms may need to wean their babies or switch to formula before the surgery since both anesthesia and antibiotics can impact breast milk.”
After childbirth, many moms start wondering how they can enhance their physical appearance, allowing them to feel confident in their own skin or extend some of that pregnancy glow.
Women who have given birth can undoubtedly be good candidates for plastic surgery. Still, according to board-certified facial plastic surgeon Dr. Nima Shemirani of Eos Rejuvenation in Beverly Hills, it is essential to wait an appropriate amount of time, ensuring the body is ready for the rigors of surgery.
When To Schedule Your Procedure
All moms are different, and their post-pregnancy recoveries can progress at varied timelines. For most, Dr. Nima recommends waiting three months before having any type of aesthetic surgery.
After cesarean or vaginal birth, it is vital to wait before considering a plastic surgery procedure for several reasons. Most importantly, this time allows the body to regain strength following childbirth and reduce the risk of complications during recovery. Additionally, moms may need to wean their babies or switch to formula before the surgery since both anesthesia and antibiotics can impact breast milk. For these reasons, Dr. Nima recommends that moms wait at least three months before considering a plastic surgery procedure and recommends consulting with their doctor first to determine the best plan of action tailored to their specific case.
The Advantages of Waiting
While it is perfectly natural to feel eager or impatient about transforming your appearance, there are ultimately many advantages to waiting.
One of the main benefits of waiting a year or so before having surgery is that recovery from plastic surgery requires a fair amount of downtime, and most patients will need to rest and heal for a week or more. Peace and quiet may be hard to come by when you have a baby in the house, but not as challenging as juggling your recovery with newborn sleep cycles, breastfeeding, and the like.
But the main reason to delay surgery is for your general health and wellness. Giving birth to a baby is no small thing; it will weaken your body for several weeks or even months.
Talk to Your Doctor
Ultimately, the best way to evaluate your readiness for plastic surgery is to talk to your doctor. Your readiness depends on your unique recovery timeline, which only you and your medical provider can determine. If you’d like more information on plastic surgery after childbirth, contact Dr. Nima of Eos Rejuvenation today to learn how cosmetic procedures may benefit your post-baby transformation journey.
Dr. Nima Shemirani grew up in a family of artists and found himself drawn towards the field of medicine in college when he recognized that biology is an equalizer. “Underneath the microscope, we are all the same: we are merely human without color, race or religion.” This personal revelation spurred a deep passion, and Dr. Nima applied to and excelled at the prestigious Medical School of Wisconsin where he also completed his Otolaryngology (ENT) residency. Dr. Nima then secured a greatly-coveted fellowship with the globally-respected Glasgold Group in New Jersey, where he trained under some of most highly trained plastic surgeons in the world.
With a luxurious office and Medicare-certified (highest certification) surgery center in the heart of Beverly Hills, Dr. Nima offers individualized and artistic results for his patients, specializing in facial plastic surgery (i.e. rhinoplasty, facelifts, brow lifts, earlobe reduction, etc.), ENT (ear, nose and throat procedures) and non-surgical facial enhancements (i.e. lip augmentation, non-surgical rhinoplasty, injectables, etc.).
Beyond his impressive credentials, Dr. Nima has developed a compassionate sensitivity to his patients’ needs and fears. He takes the time to really listen to them and collaborates with each one to develop a highly personalized approach that directly addresses not just that patient’s particular issue but also takes into account the individual’s personality, sensitivities and concerns. He creates a warm atmosphere where his patients feel safe, secure and nurtured.
by Nina Phelan | Mar 8, 2023 | Mental Health, Pregnancy
” Birth (any type of birth whether it is a c section, epidural, non medicated or induction) requires focus, concentration and a sense of calm in order to trust the journey ~ meditation is the perfect preparation.”
Looking to create a more mindful, empowering experience throughout your pregnancy? Meditation could be your ticket to calming those nerves, balancing your hormones and preparing for labor.
Sounds too good to be true? Well, the yogis have known the benefits of mediation for
centuries and now we have the science to back it up.
Studies have shown that pregnant women who meditate or have a mindfulness practice
tend to be more in touch with their bodies during pregnancy, labor and the postpartum time. They have an increased connection with their growing babies and have lower rates of postpartum depression. Also, fear of labor decreased significantly.
In fact, researchers from Wake Forest University (Zeiden et al) found that, after only four days of meditation training, subjects could handle pain 27% better than the control group. Pain relief in birth – sign me up!
Birth (any type of birth whether it is a c section, epidural, non medicated or induction) requires focus, concentration and a sense of calm in order to trust the journey ~ meditation is the perfect preparation.
Benefits of Meditation:
*prepare mentally for childbirth – relaxed mind, relaxed body = easier birth
*lowers blood pressure
*improves sleep
*develops resilience
*increases body awareness
*relieves stress and anxiety
*boosts immunity
*better sleep
*helps with nausea
*allows you to tap into your intuition
*bonding with your baby
*helps with breastfeeding and life as a new parent
Where to begin?
Let’s start with the basics – what is meditation?
According to the Cleveland Clinic: Meditation is a practice that involves focusing or clearing your mind using a combination of mental and physical techniques.
I had a teacher describe meditation as a ‘shower for the brain’ – you clean your body daily, why not your mind? When we do so, we are washing away the chatter and opening to our intuitive muscles.
That sounds great, but can anyone do it? The simple answer is YES!
Meditation is a practice. Learning to meditate is like learning any other skill. Think of it like exercising a muscle that you’ve never really worked out before. It takes consistent practice to get comfortable.
The beauty of meditation is that it isn’t one size fits all. It isn’t necessarily about sitting still and ‘trying’ to quiet the mind.’ And you don’t need 20-30minutes to meditate; three minutes of meditation can shift and balance the gray matter in your brain (which is responsible for emotions and decision making). One minute of focused deep breathing will relax your nervous system. Small practices can create profound results!
Ways to Meditate:
*Breathing Meditation: feeling the breath moving in and out of you.
Suggestion: Place one hand on your heart, and one hand on baby’s home.
Imagine or feel your breath moving from your heart space down into baby’s home. You can even imagine a color connecting your heart with your baby. Sending your baby love and also receiving your baby’s love. Set a timer for 1-5 minutes
*Mantra meditation: This kind of meditation involves repeating and focusing on a specific phrase or sound which anchors into your subconscious.
Suggestion: Repeating Affirmations.
I am strong. My body knows what to do and my baby knows what to do.
*Mudra Meditation: hand gestures that act as energetic circuits to seal in and open
up different neural pathways.
Suggestion: Gyan Mudra.
This symbolizes the union of the Self with the Universe. During pregnancy, you are the Universe for your baby. This mudra allows you to connect with your baby on an emotional and deep level. Sit in a comfortable position, spine straight, thumb to index finger and breathe deeply.
*Body scan: Helps connect you to your growing body and baby and allows your to
recognize where you hold tension in the body (we want to be loose and limp in labor!)
Suggestion: Releasing and relaxing every muscle in your body all the way down to your toes.
As you breathe down, relaxing your eyes, your cheeks, your shoulders. Relaxing your
belly (say hi to baby!) relaxing your hips, knees, ankles and toes.
There are infinite ways to meditate:
*Music – listening to chants or binaural beats can shift the brain waves into a space
*Mandala meditation- allows the thinking mind to focus and quiet the chatter
*Meditate with your partner
*Take a walk in nature, breathing and being present with the outside world
*Begin a gratitude practice
*Daily Journaling is a form of a meditative practice
*Use a meditation app like Expectful, Headspace or Insight Timer
*YouTube videos are an amazing resource
*Take a Hypnobirthing class or other Mindfulness Class for birth
Tips:
Make a date with yourself- schedule it into your daily calendar. Be creative! Remember, you can meditate anywhere – in the doctor’s office, standing in line at the grocery store, in a (parked) car, in the bath or right before you fall asleep at night. It doesn’t require any special equipment or training – just you.
Find a meditation practice that you enjoy. Have fun and savor the benefits that
meditation can bring to your pregnancy and birth!
References:
https://eocinstitute.org/meditation/meditation-benefits-for-pregnancy/
https://bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12884-017-1319-3/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4160533/
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_reasons_to_practice_mindfulness_during_pregnancy.’
https://truptwellness.com/pregnancy/4-best-mudras-to-beat-stress-in-pregnancy/10 tips for A mindful birth. Headspace. (n.d.). Retrieved March 11, 2022, from https://
www.headspace.com/articles/10-tips-for-a-mindful-birth
mindfulness coach, Hypnobirthing Instructor
and birth doula . She is passionate about
helping people through the continuum of the
childbearing years. She creates a safe haven
where birthing people are given the space to
reconnect to the beauty and soul-fullness of
their pregnancy journey.
You can find her at www.thesoulfulbirth.com
by Rose Hart-Landsberg | Jan 25, 2023 | Mental Health, Parenting and Child Development
“Your spouse arriving home has sensed (i.e. read 18 text messages ALL IN CAPS LOCK) that you needed a little treat. He pours a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and takes a sip. He pops the toddler’s loopy straw in the bottle and hands it to you. What a catch.”
You used to be a foodie. Now when you add “ie” to the end of words it’s in a singsongy baby voice and it makes you cringe inwardly. But hey, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Here’s a brief list of drink pairings for foodies turned parents who definitely have given up on adult fun but haven’t admitted it yet.
1 ) Fruit and Riesling
You spent what seemed like ages lovingly chopping up beautiful fresh farmers market fruit for your little angel. He’s growing and evolving every day and as a thoughtful parent it’s your job to make sure he gets the best nutrients and develops a healthy well rounded pallet. However at the moment the little angel does not want fresh fruit. The little angel wants fruit snacks. His volume would suggest he wants them post haste. Most of the lovingly diced fresh fruit has made it to the floor. You open the cupboard, he calms knowing the fruit snack is nigh but what’s this in the corner? An unopened bottle of Riesling that footloose and kid free friend of yours brought over thinking your dinner party last month would last past 9:00 pm (haha.) You know one fruit snack packet will give you at least a few minutes of calm. You open the little plastic package and hand it over to grabbing sticky hands. You dump what’s left of the fresh fruit onto your own plate and pop the cork. You deserve lovingly chopped fresh fruit too, you know. Cheers to being a parent!
2 ) Fish and Sauvignon Blanc
The baby is crying. But only because the toddler is crying. The toddler may or may not be crying because you are as well. You wanted to teach them a valuable lesson about about life, about caring for others and responsibility. You also told the sales lady you very specifically wanted a fish tank heavy enough that a toddler could not pull it off the shelf onto the ground. “Well,” you think, “we can’t always get what we want.” That’s a good life lesson. The screaming toddler seems to have learned it in some sense. You’re a good parent after all. Your spouse arriving home has sensed (i.e. read 18 text messages ALL IN CAPS LOCK) that you needed a little treat. He pours a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and takes a sip. He pops the toddler’s loopy straw in the bottle and hands it to you. What a catch.
Check out an Informed Pregnancy Blog post on water safety for babies here!
3 ) Lamb and Merlot
Finally, tonight, it’s your partner’s turn to do bed time. The high pitched wails muffled only by a toothbrush and punctuated by a dramatic parade of angry staccato toddler stomps float down the staircase as you luxuriously sip a glass of Merlot. You notice your little one’s beloved stuffed lamb on the couch and know bedtime will be rough(er) without it. You use every last ounce of your college softball training to silently lob it up the stairs. You are not without sympathy, but you will not be pulled into the fray. A second, un touched glass of Merlot waits patiently on the coffee table for your partner. They will surely need a sip as well when the battle has been won. You’ve got a bit of work to finish up but bed is calling and you may or may not be awake by then.
4 ) Birthday Cake and Bubbly
You’ve been answering e mails all day and there are so. many. more. A task much easier back when there wasn’t mysterious prehistoric reminiscent crayon drawings of what may be farm animals on your computer screen. You think about that art opening you meant to go to last night and the four – yes four – toddler birthday parties you went to all day instead. You think about champagne and little toothpicks stabbed into fancy cheese. You think about party number three when your little one was already breakdown adjacent and the piece of cake offered did not have the right color frosting. You think about how physically wondrous it is that a person that small can make noises that loud. You worry about waking her up as you slide the leftover cake from all 4 parties jammed together in one glorious frosted plateau out of the refrigerator. Each of your four mommy group friends insisted and each time you did not object. You begin to eat right from the pan in the dull comforting glow of the fridge light but as the sugar courses through your veins you realize something important is missing. The (cow?) on your computer screen glares judgmentally as you slide the hidden bubbly out of the crisper drawer. Happy Birthday to me, you think. You’re not even sure what day it is.
Don’t miss out! Follow Dr. Berlin for updates on podcasts, blog posts, streaming and more!
Rose Hart-Landsberg helps produce the Informed Pregnancy Podcast hosted by Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC and serves as managing editor of the new Informed Pregnancy Blog. She also spearheads podcast and blog sponsor partnerships and helps with various related content and copy writing for The Informed Pregnancy Project and Berlin Wellness Group.
In her free time she enjoys editing and writing fiction, makeup artistry, and is currently learning Turkish.
by Dr. Elliot Berlin | Jan 4, 2023 | Family and Relationships, Mental Health
“Doing acts of kindness benefits us all. They boost feelings of confidence, control, happiness and optimism. Sign me up for that!”
♫ It’s the most resolute time of the year! ♫
With tension everywhere these days, my 2023 New Year’s Resolution is to adopt habits and practices that reduce stress, promote happiness and help make the worlds around and within me better places. I invite you to join me by taking on one or more of Dr. B’s ‘Be’s’ this year.
Be Proactive
Being proactive means taking responsibility for making things happen rather than responding to things that have already happened.
Waiting for opportunities to fall in our laps rarely leads to success. Let’s take the reins on the things we can control so we can push forward and accomplish our goals. When we do this we avoid wasting precious energy spinning our wheels or focusing on those things that are beyond our influence.
Be Kind
A little bit of kindness goes a long way. When we express a simple smile or warm greeting we have the power to turn around someone’s otherwise blasé day. People tend to pay kindness forward so I invite you to be the first link in a chain of kindness and positivity that will cycle through your whole community.
Doing acts of kindness benefits us all. They boost feelings of confidence, control, happiness and optimism. Sign me up for that!
Check out Dr. Berlin’s brand new extremely fun streaming channel!
Be Present
Being present, or mindful, means being focused and engaged in the current moment and not distracted by past worries or future planning. Anything you do in life you will do better if you can focus on what’s in front of you. I know for many this is easier said than done. For me, in order to shut out all the noise and fully enjoy spending time with my family I sometimes have to go out in the middle of nowhere and unplug from the digital universe. Then I can take in the complete experience of their feelings, expressions, mannerisms, voices and giggles.
Imagine the difference between scarfing down lunch on the run, and taking an hour to sit and enjoy your meal. Experience the appearance, aroma, taste, texture and even how the nutrients make you feel. Now imagine the meal is your child. Ok, that didn’t come out right – but you get my point.
Be Informed
As a new or expectant parent you have a lot of choices to make. Some people like to have choices made for them. I, and many others, like to be an active participant in conversations and decisions that affect me and my family. In order to be proactive and use our voices to choose from all the available options, we need information.
For the last ten years my Informed Pregnancy® team and I have set out to find and deliver unbiased information on everything pregnancy related from fertility to family and all the important stages in between. The podcast has grown tremendously over the years and the listener response has been heartwarming and encouraging.
This year I am pleased to announce our latest endeavor, Informed Pregnancy+, a streaming service dedicated to films, web series, podcasts, courses and meditations for every stage of family growth. I proudly invite you to visit informedpregnancy.tv to help educate yourself as you relax and enjoy our growing library of content. It’s also available on the Apple Store, Google Play and Roku. Try it for free on any platform!
I look forward to growing in these ways and hope you will as well. May the new year bring you joy, health and peace and may you bring proactivity, kindness, and presence. Don’t worry about information – we’ve got you covered!
Follow Dr. Berlin for all the latest Informed Pregnancy news!
Dr. Berlin is an award winning pregnancy-focused chiropractor, childbirth educator, and labor support doula as well as the host of the Informed Pregnancy Podcast where each week, parents, birth professionals, and parenting experts weigh in on a full range of topics surrounding the perinatal period. Dr. Berlin runs a successful perinatal wellness group in Los Angeles, CA with his wife Dr. Alyssa Berlin with whom he shares four kids and one dangerously smart Aussiedoodle.
