by Dr. Elliot Berlin | Jan 4, 2023 | Family and Relationships, Mental Health
“Doing acts of kindness benefits us all. They boost feelings of confidence, control, happiness and optimism. Sign me up for that!”
♫ It’s the most resolute time of the year! ♫
With tension everywhere these days, my 2023 New Year’s Resolution is to adopt habits and practices that reduce stress, promote happiness and help make the worlds around and within me better places. I invite you to join me by taking on one or more of Dr. B’s ‘Be’s’ this year.
Be Proactive
Being proactive means taking responsibility for making things happen rather than responding to things that have already happened.
Waiting for opportunities to fall in our laps rarely leads to success. Let’s take the reins on the things we can control so we can push forward and accomplish our goals. When we do this we avoid wasting precious energy spinning our wheels or focusing on those things that are beyond our influence.
Be Kind
A little bit of kindness goes a long way. When we express a simple smile or warm greeting we have the power to turn around someone’s otherwise blasé day. People tend to pay kindness forward so I invite you to be the first link in a chain of kindness and positivity that will cycle through your whole community.
Doing acts of kindness benefits us all. They boost feelings of confidence, control, happiness and optimism. Sign me up for that!
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Be Present
Being present, or mindful, means being focused and engaged in the current moment and not distracted by past worries or future planning. Anything you do in life you will do better if you can focus on what’s in front of you. I know for many this is easier said than done. For me, in order to shut out all the noise and fully enjoy spending time with my family I sometimes have to go out in the middle of nowhere and unplug from the digital universe. Then I can take in the complete experience of their feelings, expressions, mannerisms, voices and giggles.
Imagine the difference between scarfing down lunch on the run, and taking an hour to sit and enjoy your meal. Experience the appearance, aroma, taste, texture and even how the nutrients make you feel. Now imagine the meal is your child. Ok, that didn’t come out right – but you get my point.
Be Informed
As a new or expectant parent you have a lot of choices to make. Some people like to have choices made for them. I, and many others, like to be an active participant in conversations and decisions that affect me and my family. In order to be proactive and use our voices to choose from all the available options, we need information.
For the last ten years my Informed Pregnancy® team and I have set out to find and deliver unbiased information on everything pregnancy related from fertility to family and all the important stages in between. The podcast has grown tremendously over the years and the listener response has been heartwarming and encouraging.
This year I am pleased to announce our latest endeavor, Informed Pregnancy+, a streaming service dedicated to films, web series, podcasts, courses and meditations for every stage of family growth. I proudly invite you to visit informedpregnancy.tv to help educate yourself as you relax and enjoy our growing library of content. It’s also available on the Apple Store, Google Play and Roku. Try it for free on any platform!
I look forward to growing in these ways and hope you will as well. May the new year bring you joy, health and peace and may you bring proactivity, kindness, and presence. Don’t worry about information – we’ve got you covered!
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Dr. Berlin is an award winning pregnancy-focused chiropractor, childbirth educator, and labor support doula as well as the host of the Informed Pregnancy Podcast where each week, parents, birth professionals, and parenting experts weigh in on a full range of topics surrounding the perinatal period. Dr. Berlin runs a successful perinatal wellness group in Los Angeles, CA with his wife Dr. Alyssa Berlin with whom he shares four kids and one dangerously smart Aussiedoodle.
by Dr. Brandie Elizabeth Keates | Dec 21, 2022 | Health Conditions, Infant Care and Breastfeeding
“The chiropractor looked like a combo of Buddha and Santa Claus. He had the biggest smile and a calm demeanor. He asked if he could examine my daughter, and she teetered up to him like an old friend. The doctor explained something I hadn’t considered: the weight of the cast and unevenness of having a cast on her tiny leg created an issue in her lower back which was throwing off her gait.”
When you found out you were pregnant, one of the joys was joining other expectant parents in groups to commiserate and give each other support. After some time, you start seeing posts about someone taking their little one to the chiropractor. Wha?
Your mind goes back to your college sports career where you had a chiropractor to keep you at your best for playing, but a baby?
I know I thought the same. After my one-year-old child broke her leg and wore a cast up to her hip, she had a significant, adorable waddle that caused people to stop me in the store and ask what was wrong with my child.
After orthopedics suggested rebreaking her leg, putting it in a brace, or injecting it with Botox, someone asked if I had ever considered taking her to a chiropractor. I looked at them like they had two heads; I pictured them cracking my child like they would for an adult and thought it wouldn’t be safe for my child’s tiny spine.
But after seeing four orthopedic doctors, I had no other options so I conceded and made the appointment. I viscerally remember sitting in the parking lot of the clinic with hot tears going down my face. I held my baby’s chubby hand and cried to her father that we were “just gonna go listen. He’s not gonna touch her.”
The chiropractor looked like a combo of Buddha and Santa Claus. He had the biggest smile and a calm demeanor. He asked if he could examine my daughter, and she teetered up to him like an old friend. The doctor explained something I hadn’t considered: the weight of the cast and unevenness of having a cast on her tiny leg created an issue in her lower back which was throwing off her gait. He explained how he would apply a gentle force and asked for our permission. We consented so long as it wouldn’t hurt her and he assured us it wouldn’t. When he had finished the adjustment he set her back on the floor. Just like a fawn, she wobbled a bit and the took a normal step without a limp. I was speechless. This moment set my life on a completely different trajectory. I became a chiropractor myself because it was truly amazing.
Chiropractic care is amazing for a myriad of conditions and many parents see it as a way to improve their child’s wellness. Chiropractors have had great success treating infants’ musculoskeletal conditions like torticollis, latching issues (jaw tightness), sports injuries, and overloading injuries (such as backpacks). There is also anecdotal evidence for successful chiropractic treatments of colic, reflux, ear infections and overall wellness.
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It’s important to understand the difference between adult chiropractic and chiropractic care for your child. Here are some considerations for finding the best chiropractic care for your child:
1) Consent extends to the patient and everyone in the room. The chiropractor should assure everyone in the room that they will not proceed without consent, including that of the child. If your child is not feeling it at the moment, you or your child should not be rushed – you should be encouraged to go take a walk, get a snack, or reschedule for a time your child is on board.
2) Children’s joints are not the same as those of adults. The chiropractor should discuss how the treatments are modified for children and explain what they will do BEFORE they do it.
3) A child doesn’t need a heavy treatment plan. If your chiropractor gives your child a treatment plan that’s longer than a month with more than 2 visits per week, this is a red flag. Children’s nervous systems and structures do not need a lot of treatments. The treatment plan should also include markers to gauge if you are getting the results you want. While healing takes time, you want to see some glimmer of hope early on.
4) Chiropractors are NOT trained to treat emotions, talk about stopping medications, or to tell you not to vaccinate your child. Ultimately, they should NOT override your pediatrician’s recommendations. If there is an issue, your chiropractor should call your child’s pediatrician to discuss their case.
A pediatric-trained chiropractor is a powerful member of your child’s healthcare team who can safely and naturally help keep your child well.
Need a few more minutes alone in the bathroom? Check out a few more posts here!
Dr. Brandie Keates has been a practicing chiropractor for 20 years. She opened her own practice in 2003, right after graduating from Cleveland Chiropractic College. Since struggling with her own difficult pregnancy in 2006, she has been using her knowledge of sports medicine to help pregnant and postpartum patients and their children find safe, effective pain relief. In 2018, she published “What You Don’t Expect When You’re Expecting,” a guide to helping women overcome pregnancy pain. Since then, she’s lectured on pediatric chiropractic care, pregnancy chiropractic care, and consent in chiropractic care. Today, her practice, Experience Chiropractic, is booming; a majority of her patients are pregnant or postpartum. Her mission is to educate and empower women and their healthcare providers.
by Jessica Martin-Weber | Nov 29, 2022 | Infant Care and Breastfeeding
**This is a repost of a classic Informed Pregnancy article.
“It is common to experience some discomfort at latch in the first few weeks of breastfeeding. It should go away as the feeding continues. If it does not end after around 30 seconds, you may need to remove your baby from the breast and reposition her. Break the suction by placing your little finger into the corner of your baby’s mouth and trying to latch again.”
“I’m really scared of breastfeeding.” Pregnant with her first child, my friend subconsciously rubbed her 34-week belly as I made dinner. I asked her why. She said she’d Googled and learned that breastfeeding could be extremely painful, particularly if she didn’t achieve “the perfect latch.”
She went on to explain that she had read different blogs and forums about how hard it was to get a good latch, stories of women with bleeding nipples and babies who wouldn’t gain weight. She wanted to know the secret to a good latch and what would happen if it didn’t happen for her.
It’s true that many mothers experience some degree of difficulty in the early days of breastfeeding, but here she was, just weeks away from finally meeting her baby, scheduled to take a breastfeeding class and worried sick that she was facing a world of pain if she couldn’t get that elusive latch.
Earlier that same day, I’d had coffee with a good friend, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) at a local hospital. When the topic of the “perfect latch” came up, she surprised me by saying that she thought everyone made too big a deal of the latch.
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“If mom isn’t in pain and the baby has plenty of soiled and wet diapers, why do we need to mess with anything? Sure, if there’s a problem like pain or a dehydrated baby, then we need to fix what we can. But so what if that bottom lip is curled in if it’s not causing any bother?” In other words, if it’s comfortable and it’s working, it’s a good latch. There is a wide range of normal. I love this woman; she often says exactly what I’m thinking.
In general, newborn babies are ready to breastfeed and our breasts are ready to feed them. It just works, and we don’t need to mess with it – it doesn’t have to be a complicated endeavor. Yes, for some women breastfeeding is difficult, but we shouldn’t expect trouble. More often than not, moms need support simply because it isn’t all that common in our culture to see a baby at the breast – we cover up or retreat to a restroom to feed, so plenty of women don’t ever see breastfeeding “in action” until it’s their turn to try it!
Many women look online or join a breastfeeding support group for guidance – proactively seeking examples of successful breastfeeding techniques that in other cultures she might have been exposed to from the day she was born. If a new mom doesn’t seek out or have access to that help, she may not even realize that difficulty with pain, bleeding nipples or ineffective milk transfer to her baby could be related to her latch, and there might be a very simple way to “fix” it.
After I shared a few pictures of my then-newborn daughter’s latch on Facebook, I received several emails and comments from other moms stating that they had never seen what a “good latch” looked like, and had endured pain in breastfeeding because they didn’t realize something was wrong.
If you are ever experiencing pain with breastfeeding that is more than a brief moment of discomfort or lasts beyond the initial latch, please seek out help – pain is usually an indicator of a problem that can be corrected. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, it just means you might benefit from some help.
I talked with my friend Star Rodriguez, IBCLC of Lactastic Services and WIC peer counselor, for the following lists:
When do you need to consider latch issues and improving your nursling’s latch?
- When breastfeeding is painful beyond the initial latching.
- When there is tissue damage to your nipples.
- When there are weight gain issues for the baby.
What latch ‘tips’ can moms try?
- Get into a comfortable position and bring your baby to your level – don’t lean down to theirs.
- Make sure your baby’s body is facing yours, and her arms are not pushing away at you.
- It is best to let the breast fall naturally if possible.
- If you have large breasts OR when your milk first comes in, it may be helpful to hold your breast with your hand.
- Aim your baby’s nose toward the nipple; if it’s necessary to encourage a wider mouth, tickle the very top of the baby’s upper lip with your nipple.
- Your baby’s chin should touch the breast, but her nose should be unobstructed. You should not need to push your breast away from your baby’s nose with a good latch.
- You should be able to hear or see your baby swallowing – short sucks/swallows at first, then longer ones as your milk starts to let down.
- If you’re using a nipple shield, ensure that the nipple and surrounding tissue is being pulled into the shield.
What can a mom do to try to improve a painful or ineffective latch?
- If your baby isn’t opening their mouth wide enough, attempt to show her what to do by opening your own mouth wide. Many babies will subconsciously mimic you.
- Make a “breastwich” – hold your hand in a C-shape behind the areola to help your baby get a bigger mouthful.
- Get your baby as naked as possible for the inviting feeling of skin-to-skin contact.
- Hold your baby securely; a snug, close hold will help.
- Pull your baby in quickly when her mouth is open wide.
- It is common to experience some discomfort at latch in the first few weeks of breastfeeding. It should go away as the feeding continues. If it does not end after around 30 seconds, you may need to remove your baby from the breast and reposition her. Break the suction by placing your little finger into the corner of your baby’s mouth and trying to latch again. Some lactation consultants can show you ways to fix a latch without taking your baby off the breast, but those are easier to learn from being shown rather than told. You may need to put your baby in a different nursing hold or position.
When should a lactation consultant be called?
- If repositioning doesn’t work.
- If you feel sudden soreness after experiencing painless nursing.
- If you feel stabbing or burning pain in your breasts or when your baby latches.
- If you have cracked or bleeding nipples.
- If your latch is not painful, but your baby is not producing a good amount of wet and dirty diapers.
Check out this post by breastfeeding assessment expert Dr. Linda Dahl!
Jessica Martin-Weber is a writer, speaker and creator of TheLeakyBoob.com. In just four years, The Leaky Boob has become the world’s largest online interactive breastfeeding resource, recommended to mothers by several major hospital networks and health agencies. Jessica is a mother to six fiercely independent daughters and also blogs with her husband, Jeremy, at BeyondMoi.com.
by Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Project | Nov 23, 2022 | Family and Relationships, Parenting and Child Development
“Grandparents are often enthusiastic about spending time with the kids but that doesn’t mean there aren’t limits. Make sure to keep the dynamic healthy for everyone by limiting the help you ask for to things you really need.”
Do plan gift giving
Family members that don’t live with you and your kids may not be up on what things they have and what they’re into, (it can change so fast.) You could leave your parents or in-laws to their own devices to pick out gifts but that can lead to extra stuff around the house that your kids aren’t into. It’s also a bit of a letdown for the gift-giver when the gifts are not well received so no one wins. If you know your child is due for a new stuffed animal or set of headphones, why not let your family members know ahead of time so they can “reserve” those items for gift-giving. Even better, you may want to assign gift “types” such as clothes or art supplies to one set of grandparents each so going forward they can stock up throughout the year without bugging you to ask what they should get. It might also be helpful to keep an updated list of clothing sizes for growing kids who get clothes as gifts.
Don’t ignore boundaries
Many grandparents still have full active lives outside of their parenting and grandparenting responsibilities. Just because they’re crazy about your kids it doesn’t mean they’re available at the drop of a hat. Make sure to notice and respect boundaries that may include scheduling babysitting and play dates a few weeks ahead of time, or not staying out for that second drink on date night when they’re babysitting and it’s getting late. It’s tempting to treat family with less formal respect in some situations but beware, that can breed resentment and less help in the long run.
Do respect house rules
Maybe your strict upbringing is something you’ve decided not to emulate with your kids, that’s one of the great things about being a parent – getting to do it your way – but when you’re at your parents or in-laws home make sure your kids know that the house rules are to be followed even if they’re different than your rules at home. This is a great lesson for your kids about adjusting behavior to the space and situation but it also reinforces the grandparents as authority figures who warrant respect. That is something that’s especially important for grandparents who help with regular childcare but the most important reason is that a respectful dynamic is a strong foundation for your kids’ relationship to their older family members for their entire lives.
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Don’t over ask
Grandparents are often enthusiastic about spending time with the kids but that doesn’t mean there aren’t limits. Make sure to keep the dynamic healthy for everyone by limiting the help you ask for to things you really need. Maybe your parents are happy to babysit on a Friday night here and there – maybe it’s tempting to hit them up every weekend but doing so may wear out the favor too quickly. Play the long game and make sure you cultivate a dynamic that’s sustainable long-term.
Do acknowledge their help and effort
Grandparents get to do a lot of the fun spoiling but childcare is childcare so even if your family members are happy to help, make sure to acknowledge the time and effort that goes into that help. Not to mention, many older folks have a lot less energy than they used to, so chasing toddlers in your 70s is a lot harder than in your 30s.
Don’t undermine them in front of the kids
There’s nothing harder than caring for kids who don’t respect your authority. You may disagree with some things your parents do with your kids but barring extreme circumstances it’s best to discuss it later when the kids aren’t around. If your kids see you arguing with or disobeying your parents they are likely to assume it’s okay for them to do it as well and that may have long-term damaging effects on the grandparent/grandchild relationship.
Do communicate clearly and honestly
It’s important to cultivate honest communication. Tell your parents what you want and need and then be prepared to listen honestly to whether or not those things work for them. Having kids inevitably changes the dynamic of any family in fun and complex ways for everyone and your parents are likely thrilled to be along for the ride but also probably exhausted. They raised you, after all.
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Rose Hart-Landsberg helps produce the Informed Pregnancy Podcast hosted by Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC and serves as managing editor of the new Informed Pregnancy Blog. She also spearheads podcast and blog sponsor partnerships and helps with various related content and copy writing for The Informed Pregnancy Project and Berlin Wellness Group.
In her free time she enjoys editing and writing fiction, makeup artistry, and is currently learning Turkish.
by Rose Hart-Landsberg | Oct 26, 2022 | Parenting and Child Development
” This is a great tool for creating a sense of ownership in your kids from a young age and it also will hopefully save you some time and effort. If your kids aren’t the cleanup-with-a-smile type you may want to try making a game out of the process like competing to see who can clear their bedroom floor more quickly or cleaning up the items by color type.”
Parenting is a lot of work. As your kids get older they’re able to help with tasks around the house but sometimes getting them to help becomes a chore unto itself. One idea to combat this is to start them off helping around the house from the very beginning so it becomes a part of the everyday routine. Here are some simple ideas to incorporate into your kids daily activities:
Meal planning
Meal prep can be a pain and it gets even worse when you put all that time and effort into food your family doesn’t end up eating. Kids can be fickle when it comes to what food they like, sometimes it changes by the day or even meal but one trick you may want to test is including your kids in the meal planning and prep process. When you’re writing your shopping list, ask your little ones which veggies they’re craving or what kind of sandwich they want for lunch. This is also a great opportunity to talk about what goes into feeding a family so your kids grow up learning about the steps that go into shopping and cooking.
Check out this blog post on pregnancy and skincare!
Toy pick-up
Whether your kids are the play-with-one-toy obsessively until it’s broken or used up or the move-from-one-thing-to-the-next-at-lightning-speed type every parent knows the pain of stepping on a toy or rummaging through piles of clutter trying to find the item you need. Rather than swoop in at the end of an exhausting day to pick toys up on your own after your kids are in bed, incorporate cleanup into your kiddos bedtime routine to make sure there’s enough time and to ensure that everyone helps clear up the mess they made. This is a great tool for creating a sense of ownership in your kids from a young age and it also will hopefully save you some time and effort. If your kids aren’t the cleanup-with-a-smile type you may want to try making a game out of the process like competing to see who can clear their bedroom floor more quickly or cleaning up the items by color type.
Sweeping and mopping
Sweeping and mopping are great tasks to give to a child because they’re relatively simple as well as tactile in a satisfying way. It’s true that a very young child with a wet mop may make things worse rather than better but with some practice and supervision (and patience) you may just get a clean floor and a worn out kid by the end of the day.
Feeding the pets
Different pets have different needs when it comes to mealtime but depending on your setup it might be easy to store your dog or cat food in a plastic or metal canister with a scoop that your kids are able to access and open easily. If your kids are older you can write the feeding schedule and amounts on the fridge or even put a sign on the food canister and keep an eye on the clock for when a reminder is needed (though dogs and cats are pretty good at mealtime reminders on their own.) For younger kids, you may need to do the task with them but it’s a great way to start them out and teach them about what goes into keeping a pet and caring for an animal.
Dusting
A strong way to teach your kids how to care for their possessions is dusting. An old rag and a bit of patience is all they need for this task and it’s perfect for a chilly inside-day especially as it’s quiet and easily supervised. Dusting teaches a light touch and attention to detail and a bit of pretend play while they get the job done can make it into an enjoyable time.
Keep in mind
When supervising and assigning your kids chores, remember not to insist on perfection. The idea is to create a feeling of accomplishment that encourages them to participate willingly. When they’re angsty teenagers you’ll get fewer eyerolls and groans if you set the precedent early. Praise for a job well-done (or sometimes just done) is always a smart approach and just as with everything else, consistency is important for building skills and expectations.
Listen to the Informed Pregnancy Podcast featuring Anna Malaika Tubbs!
Rose Hart-Landsberg helps produce the Informed Pregnancy Podcast hosted by Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC and serves as managing editor of the new Informed Pregnancy Blog. She also spearheads podcast and blog sponsor partnerships and helps with various related content and copy writing for The Informed Pregnancy Project and Berlin Wellness Group.
In her free time she enjoys editing and writing fiction, makeup artistry, and is currently learning Turkish.
