November 23, 2023 · 43 minutes · Episode 382
About this episode
Certified doula, childbirth educator, pregnancy & postpartum coach, and former entertainment professional Caitlin Wilder is expecting her second child. Caitlin discusses how she became a birth worker, the lessons learned from her first birth, and the birth plan for baby number two.
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Key quotes
“any kind of spirit that chose to come down during such a tumultuous time is meant to be here and was coming for a reason. And so I really had a very strong conviction about it and went for it.”
“So I kind of realized, oh, I should be a doula. I love supporting women. I love sharing information. I've always been interested in medical stuff, and it just kind of clicked one”
“Oh my God. I was like, whose birth tomorrow? Um, so because my previous experience was so medicated, I am guns blazing, going for an unmedicated hospital birth, which isn't actually, I feel like I don't know that”
“And I mean, there is no gold medal for not getting an epidural during birth. I love epidurals, but I want Catherine to whisper in my ear like, but there is a gold medal for you. Like that's the kind of energy that I'm bringing into this birth.”
“I was obsessed with the before and afters. You are like required homework for all of my clients. I told your producer when you responded to me, I felt like a beetle was answering my DM because I did slide into your DMS too. So it is such an honor to be speaking to you.”
Related episodes
- Ep. 383 Caitlin Wilder: After Birth
- Ep. 399 All About VBACs with Meagan Heaton
- Ep. 418 Exploring Freebirth with Catalina Clark
- Ep. 407 Michelle Christensen: Before Birth
Transcript
AI-generated transcript with speaker labels — may contain errors, especially names and medical terms. Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC appears in blue; Caitlin Wilder in orange.
Download PDF of the Transcript
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:12] Welcome to the Informed Pregnancy and Parenting Podcast. I'm your host, pregnancy-focused chiropractor Dr. Elliot Berlin. My guest today is a former entertainment professional and current certified doula and childbirth educator. She's also about to give birth to her second child. In this episode, we'll discuss lessons learned from her first birth experience, her motivation for changing careers, and what she has in mind for her imminent birth. Katelyn Wilder, welcome to the podcast.
Caitlin Wilder [1:05] Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:08] Ah, okay. I want to know everything, but let's start at the beginning. Where are you from originally?
Caitlin Wilder [1:12] I am born and raised in LA, which I feel like is…
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:16] I've heard of it.
Caitlin Wilder [1:17] Yeah. Not that common, though, to be born and raised here, so…
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:20] I feel like it's just getting a little more common now, but absolutely. I thought everybody was a transplant. And like when I would meet at OGLA, I was like, whoa. Yeah. You bought a lot of houses at the beginning. I did not, but… Okay. All right. And now what's the progression? Because you're a doula now and a childbirth educator now, and I want to sort of get into all of that and how that became in a later segment. But what was the original career trajectory?
Caitlin Wilder [1:49] So when I was younger, I always actually wanted to be a talk show host, which didn't end up panning out for me, unfortunately. And then I went to college to actually study broadcast journalism. And while I was there, I realized I missed actually being in a learning environment. So I switched majors to history and then graduated from college and ended up working in reality TV. So none of it makes sense.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:10] Right. I was like, wait a second, A equals B, but then B equals F. Okay. So I took broadcast journalism courses in college, never expecting to be in any kind of broadcast or journalism. And here we are. But I just remember one thing, and I wonder if you had this experience, too. One of our professors was a nightly news anchor. And in class, she spoke just like she spoke on TV. And I was like, and now for homework. Oh, my God, I need a remote control. I have to change the channel.
Caitlin Wilder [2:44] Yes, absolutely. You like can't switch it off. But I also I'm very close with my family. And to be a good broadcast journalist, you have to move somewhere, start in a smaller market, and I'm very codependent and couldn't do it. So decided let's do reality TV. It was a big fan of pop culture. And it felt right in the moment. And I ended up working in reality TV on the network side for 12 years. So once I was there, I refused to leave.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:11] Unscripted.
Caitlin Wilder [3:12] Yes, very unscripted.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:15] But also sort of scripted.
Caitlin Wilder [3:17] No, I mean, maybe some other places, but where I worked, you almost wish it
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:21] was scripted because it was so wild. But yes, but it was just Are you allowed to say what kind of genre?
Caitlin Wilder [3:29] Unscripted alternative lifestyle programming.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:32] Oh, okay. I don't know if you know this, but I have a show on our streaming platform, which is informed pregnancy plus but our show that I made was called the Real Midwives of Los Angeles. Okay, yes. So, yes.
Caitlin Wilder [3:48] We're in the same genre.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:49] Correct. We are in the same genre.
Caitlin Wilder [3:52] Wow, LA and New York and what's over there? The Hamptons? What's that one over there? And then you have Below Deck and you have
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:59] Below Deck, Vanderpump rules, Winter House, Winter House, all the
Caitlin Wilder [4:05] houses, Southern Charm, Southern Charm. And then Southern Charm. Charleston?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:10] Charleston. It's in Charleston. Yeah.
Caitlin Wilder [4:12] Oh, but then there's another Southern Charm.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:14] There was another Southern Charm in Savannah, I think.
Caitlin Wilder [4:18] Oh, whatever. Yeah, there are so many but I was such a big fan that every day I was at my desk, I was like, I'm gonna get kicked out of here. There's no way that they know I'm here and they're allowing this because I couldn't believe that was actually what I was doing for a living. And it was amazing. And that's why I stayed for 12 years.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:38] And it's such meaningful content.
Caitlin Wilder [4:40] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:40] Okay. So Potomac. That's the other one. Potomac. Potomac. Yes. So good. Okay. So by the way, I don't really watch TV ever. But you knew a lot of those cities. Yes. So spoiler alert. She said it first, but I go to Chrissy Teigen's house a lot. I work with her and we used to at the very beginning of that, the first couple of years, we always either listened to or watched murder. And then we moved into Bravo.
Caitlin Wilder [5:10] Yes, similar vibes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:12] Yeah. So there's that. Okay, fine. So reality TV, making everybody's life amazing. And then 12 years is a long time. So did you draw on your broadcast journalism training and your, I guess,
Caitlin Wilder [5:27] I used literally nothing I learned from college. It was a very expensive, just social experiment for me, apparently, in my career. But I do feel like I use a little bit of the broadcast journalism in my current career iteration, but nothing when reality absolutely. Okay. Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:46] Oh, you got to check out the Real Midwives of Los Angeles.
Caitlin Wilder [5:49] 100%.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [5:50] Maybe I need to do Real Midwives of Potomac or Real Midwives on a Boat. I mean, take it around. Real Midwives in a restaurant. Yeah.
Caitlin Wilder [5:58] Yes. Okay. Real Midwives in a bar.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:02] I'd like to see that.
Caitlin Wilder [6:03] We should team up.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:05] Yeah. Let's talk about this after. So sharks. All right. Now back to you. So I did it. I did the, now back to you. Now you are a mom.
Caitlin Wilder [6:16] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:17] Times one and eight ninths.
Caitlin Wilder [6:19] Yes. Times one and very close.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:21] When you were doing reality TV, that seems like a kind of demanding job. Is it the kind of job that makes it hard to think about when should I start the parenthood phase of life?
Caitlin Wilder [6:31] Honestly, where I was working, it was not hard. Like they had really great maternity leave. And because I had worked there for so long, everybody that I worked with felt like family. So it felt like a very welcoming environment to make that choice. So I was very, very lucky. I think it's far more demanding if you're like actually making the shows versus like being on the network side. So for me, like the most demanding thing I did was like move my hand around on the mouse to move emails around or call people. Bravo. Exactly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:04] Okay. So then what went into your decision of when to have your first baby?
Caitlin Wilder [7:09] So it was COVID times and I heard about that. Yes. Special time for us all. And I had learned to crochet, learned to knit. I dabbled in vegan baking. I downloaded a Spanish language app. No sourdough, but I did try focaccia. I felt like everybody was doing sourdough. So I wanted to go a little bit outside the box.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:32] Are we allowed to say focaccia?
Caitlin Wilder [7:34] I think so. This is not explicit. And then I was like, well, I did all of that. I guess now I'll just make an entirely new human being and that will be my new COVID project.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:46] I heard that's the progression, focaccia human. It goes knitting focaccia human. That's the standard progression.
Caitlin Wilder [7:53] It makes sense too, because you could make clothing for the little child and feed them.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [7:57] And feed them. Exactly. All of your bases are covered.
Caitlin Wilder [7:59] Everything's already learned.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:00] Hundred percent. And then your partner, was your partner like, oh yeah, we already have the focaccia. Let's have a kid.
Caitlin Wilder [8:06] Yes. He was involved in the decision. I was feeling very strongly about it. And he, I think was like, okay, I guess I have to say yes to this because she's telling me that this is what we're doing now and went along with it. But I also had a really strong belief that any kind of spirit that chose to come down during such a tumultuous time is meant to be here and was coming for a reason. And so I really had a very strong conviction about it and went for it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:33] Well, maybe they just like hand sanitizer.
Caitlin Wilder [8:36] I mean, it could be. Honestly, he does love hand sanitizer.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:39] See? So you never know why. Okay. And then once he made the decision,
Caitlin Wilder [8:43] was it easy to get to the next step? It was. It was really easy. I was very lucky. It happened like probably within the first month of trying. Oh, wow. That's the first opportunity. Yes, exactly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:58] Is it TMI to ask how you were preventing trying before that?
Caitlin Wilder [9:02] No, I don't think so. I was on birth control. I had been on birth control for a really long time, like since I was 16 and then came off of it. And actually this might be TMI. Took me a really long time to actually get my period back. I think a lot of women who've been on birth control for so long have a similar experience.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:19] Yeah. So that's what I was wondering if you were on the pill. It's the first month you tried, but not the first month you were off the pill.
Caitlin Wilder [9:25] No. So I had been off the pill for like six months, but I had only gotten my period once since then. So I was, I didn't even know what was happening.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:33] Was that scary?
Caitlin Wilder [9:35] It was scary, but I also knew that that could happen if you had been on the pill for so long. And there was also so much other scary stuff happening at the time that I wasn't really focusing on it. And then just basically pulled the goalie, so to speak, for lack of a better term, and got pregnant.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [9:54] There you are. Okay. So that part was easy for you. Let's take a little break. When we come back, we'll find out how you're…
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:38] Welcome back. We are talking to Caitlin Wilder, no longer in reality TV.
Caitlin Wilder [11:45] No longer.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:46] I noticed it took a slump when you stopped working there.
Caitlin Wilder [11:49] We moved on to TLC, if I'm going to be honest.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:52] Honestly, I'm a big TLC fan myself, so I fully get it.
Caitlin Wilder [11:55] 90 Day, the whole franchise.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:58] We just recap reality TV shows right now, because I'm very down for that, too. I'm totally into a new podcast. Let's do it. We'll get Chrissy, too. Perfect, perfect. Hilarious. Okay, so you get pregnant really quick once you get your cycle back,
Caitlin Wilder [12:13] and then how are the different phases of pregnancy for you? My pregnancy was very easy. I will say I was super lucky. I think part of it had to do with I never left my couch and I never had to wear clothing that had any sort of like support or anything beyond an elastic waistband in it. Yeah, I mean, it was really fantastic. There was that constant fear of like death lurking around the corner, because nobody knew it was happening with COVID. Aside from that, I had a great time. I didn't really leave my apartment and only did like long distance walks with people, but it was a very chill time for me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:52] I love that time. You know, I don't know if you know this, I was a doula for a long time. So a lot of people were doing home birth at that time, who are not necessarily home birthers, but also didn't want to be in the COVID building or with all the restrictions and people that were, you know, very sickly. And there was no traffic. I'd go like, what would take an hour normally and 20 minutes and it was just the greatest thing. And then when things started to open back up, it was such a bummer. Very upsetting. You feel me?
Caitlin Wilder [13:21] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:21] Comfortable pregnancy. And how was it compared to how you thought it would be?
Caitlin Wilder [13:25] Well, I didn't expect to be pregnant during a global pandemic when the world was shut down. So that initially threw me for quite a loop, but then I realized I made that choice. So what am I to complain about?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:37] Meaning the pandemic was already here when you got pregnant?
Caitlin Wilder [13:39] Yes, when I got pregnant.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:41] You just thought it would be over a lot quicker?
Caitlin Wilder [13:43] I think so. I was definitely not anticipating it to be as extensive as it was for as long as it was. Also, when I would have thought about my pregnancy, you would have thought I would have been seeing other people or getting prenatal massages. My baby shower was, I stood in driveway and people drove past me and waved. And that's certainly not what I ever thought a baby shower would have been.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:06] No, that's what we, a lot of people were doing the car mitzvah.
Caitlin Wilder [14:09] Yeah, exactly. But I wasn't upset by it. I knew it was what it was. It wasn't like I was the only person in the world that had to stand in a driveway and be waved at. Everyone was doing it. So it made it a lot easier to accept that this is everyone's experience.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [14:24] Yeah. Okay. At which point, like before pregnancy, during pregnancy, when do you start to visualize ideas for birth? You know, your birth setting and birth intentions.
Caitlin Wilder [14:35] Yeah, I had always been interested. I mean, I wouldn't say always because I didn't always know about doulas, but I had been interested in working with a doula for a while. I wanted, especially after COVID hit, wanted my birth to be not just a medical experience, but, you know, take it to another level, have that kind of support. So I knew I wanted to work with a doula. Two of my coworkers worked with Katherine Deeb and they recommended her to me. I met her immediately and was like, you have to be my doula. You have no other choice. She was fantastic. An angel, human from heaven.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:09] Unbelievable. And also so cool. Very cool. Yes. I mean, I was lucky enough. So sometimes after I did doula work, I started to just do body work at birth. And oftentimes there'd be a doula there too. So I was lucky enough to work side by side with her a couple of times and just magic. Magic. That's my only way I could describe it. Okay. So did you work with Catherine Deeb?
Caitlin Wilder [15:37] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:38] Oh, wow. Okay.
Caitlin Wilder [15:40] Yeah. So worked with her and then kind of, for somebody who loves to learn, I actually didn't really want to know much about birth, which is also wild now where I've landed, but I-
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:52] Some might say wilder.
Caitlin Wilder [15:53] Yes. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Very good. Very good.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:57] Don't forget to tip your waiter.
Caitlin Wilder [15:59] So I actually didn't have too much information in my head going into labor. You know, kind of the basics, the heavy hitters, everybody wants to avoid a C-section, wants to avoid an induction, all of that. And kind of just went from there. I was told that I, you know, the classic, like, you're going to have an enormous baby, so you need to be induced and all of that. So that was kind of like in my head a lot, but Catherine did a really great job of talking me down from that big baby cliff. And yeah, from there, the big baby cliff that so many of us are pushed off of against our will. And then, yeah, it went from there. So I didn't really have like too much in
[16:40] my mind about my birth, except I just wanted it to be a nice experience. I always knew too, I was going to give birth in a hospital as much as I am interested in other things. I believe in medicine. I felt more comfortable there. My husband was not comfortable with not being in a hospital. So I always knew that would be where I delivered.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:00] OK, sounds like you had a plan. Now, at that point in COVID, could you bring a doula with you to the hospital?
Caitlin Wilder [17:06] So I gave birth on a Monday and Friday was the first day they let doulas back in. And my nurse actually didn't even know that they were letting doulas in. So Catherine missed like a huge chunk of my labor until there was like a shift change.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:22] Oh, wow.
Caitlin Wilder [17:23] Yeah. And they told us, oh no, your doula actually can come in.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [17:27] Surprise. OK, so how did it all start?
Caitlin Wilder [17:31] My labor? Yeah. So I very much did not want my son born on Valentine's Day. I don't know why anybody born on Valentine's Day. I love that for you. For some reason for me, did not want that. And I went into labor midnight on Valentine's Day, going into the 15th. Oh, wow. OK. Which was the first and only time my son has listened to me. And I remember falling asleep. My back hurt. And then my back kept hurting. And then it was hurting in waves. And I Googled, can you only have contractions in your back? Because I had no idea about back labor. I did not know that was a thing that could happen. I did not know what it meant. So I experienced back labor, convinced myself I wasn't in labor, that I was just
[18:20] having back pain. And my water ended up breaking at home. I labored at home for maybe five to six hours. And finally, as you know, in L.A., you have to legitimately take traffic patterns into consideration. I didn't want to have like a canyon baby or be stuck in rush hour traffic on Laurel Canyon. So eventually I was like, well, it's going to start getting traffic time. We've got to go to the hospital, went to the hospital. One thing I had really wanted to do was try to see how far I could go without getting an epidural. And because the back labor was so intense, the second I walked in the hospital, I was like, you need to give me an epidural right this second, or I will leave and I will find something
[19:02] on the street. And they were like, please calm down, lady. Like, we will give you the epidural. This isn't a big deal.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:07] Did you feel like you were breaking?
Caitlin Wilder [19:09] One thousand percent. It was unbelievable. And it's indescribable how intense back labor is.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:15] Was the baby posterior? Yes, he was O.P. Did you know that going in?
Caitlin Wilder [19:20] Or have you? I had no idea. No, that's why I Googled, can contractions be in your back? Because I had no idea what was going on, had no idea that was a possibility. There's so many variations of normal. You don't know about until you know about it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:34] Yeah, I keep telling that to my therapist. OK, I'm back. So really very good, though. Thank you. You're welcome. Do you know how to stand up comedy?
Caitlin Wilder [19:48] I do. And I'm like, really, you want to go. I'm ready to go. Add that into your next show. I got to remember. They always come to me in the shower and I'm like, I don't remember what I was thinking that have waterproof. of paper and a pen in there.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:01] Good call. So sharks.
Caitlin Wilder [20:03] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:04] So now when you get the epidural, does it totally alleviate that back labor?
Caitlin Wilder [20:08] So it alleviated not only back labor, but my entire like mental presence and physical presence in my labor experience. I-
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:18] Really, the epidural?
Caitlin Wilder [20:19] The epidural hit me so hard. I also was real push happy with that button that they give you for the epidural. So partially my fault, cause I could not get enough of it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:32] But I- I'm always like more buttered popcorn, more buttered popcorn.
Caitlin Wilder [20:34] Yes, a thousand percent. It actually took until I became a doula and I saw how epidurals affected other people that I realized that how I experienced it was not the norm, that I was very affected by it. So from the time I got it, I actually don't remember much of my labor. I was sleeping. I was super out of it. Didn't feel anything, total dead legs, the whole nine yards.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [21:03] That's so intense. Yeah, to the point where- Do you know why?
Caitlin Wilder [21:08] I don't know why. I mean, again, I will take some responsibility for having an incontrollable hitting of the button. Yeah. But I don't know if I'm somebody that's maybe just more affected by pain medication in general.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [21:20] Yeah, that's what I was wondering.
Caitlin Wilder [21:22] Yeah, it was pretty gnarly. And again, this is not everyone's experience. I've seen people have epidurals where they are fully present and cognizant of what is going on and have control of their body, but I was on a different planet.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [21:35] I feel like I'm the opposite. Like if I get anesthesia, I have this fear I'll go for a colonoscopy, they'll put in whatever drugs and they'll be like, all right, let's go. I'm like, hey guys, I'm here.
Caitlin Wilder [21:44] Yeah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [21:45] Hi.
Caitlin Wilder [21:46] See, they would show me the bag of drugs and I would just fall asleep immediately, apparently. Like that's how.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [21:50] We're so yin and yang. I mean, meant to do podcasts together, clearly. Okay. Moving back to your birth. So then what about by the time you get dilated, are you more alert?
Caitlin Wilder [22:05] No. So throughout that labor at some time, Catherine got there and she and a nurse were moving me around to flip my son so he wasn't OP anymore. And then-
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [22:17] Like from side to side to side to side?
Caitlin Wilder [22:19] Side to side and doing like forward inversions.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [22:23] Penipal?
Caitlin Wilder [22:24] I'm sure there was a penipal there, couldn't tell you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [22:27] Really?
Caitlin Wilder [22:28] Couldn't tell you if my husband was there at that point. Like that is how out of it I was. And finally, I remember I turned to Catherine and I was like, I feel something kind of silly in my butt. That's literally what I said. And she said, what? And they checked me and they were like, wow, you are 10 centimeters and your son is like plus three. Like you are about to have your baby. Because that is how little I could feel anything. So it basically was like, he was about to crown and then they had a shift change of nurses and I pushed him out in three pushes. The first thing my son heard me say was I didn't even get a chance to put my Beyonce playlist on
[23:09] because that is how quickly it happened. Apparently that was my ultimate concern.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:14] After you cleared the Valentine's day hurdle.
Caitlin Wilder [23:17] Right, exactly after that. And then I needed the Beyonce. So that is how out of it and quickly it was. And then because I think of the shock of all of a sudden being asleep and then there being a baby on my chest, my blood pressure skyrocketed and I had to then go on magnesium after. So it was just like 40 hours of being heavily drugged.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:42] How did the magnesium make you feel?
Caitlin Wilder [23:44] If the epidural made me feel like I was on a different planet, the magnesium made me feel like I was living on Pluto. I mean, it was, I.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:51] You're not even sure if it's a planet.
Caitlin Wilder [23:53] Exactly, so what was I even on? Just a rock floating in the universe. Who even knows? But nobody fully explained to me what the magnesium was going to do to me and I couldn't see straight. I had to stay in the bed again for another 24 hours. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I wasn't allowed to be alone with my son because I could.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:17] You couldn't bond with your baby.
Caitlin Wilder [24:19] Yeah, so it was kind of back to back, like heavily drugged days in the hospital. You know, you can't get out of the bed when you're on magnesium. So I was basically like bedridden for 48 hours. Couldn't eat. Yeah, it was a rough ride that again, I didn't really realize until I came out of it. I was like, oh, that was not what I thought the first 24 hours of my son's life were gonna be.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:43] Wow, I guess your blood pressure came down.
Caitlin Wilder [24:46] My blood pressure came down. I'll never forget one of the nurses was like, are you seeing anything? I had to like squint like I was a pirate because it dilates the blood vessels in your eyes, the magnesium. I mean, I truly like could not see straight. It was crazy. But then blood pressure came down and I finally got to go off of it, but it still takes a little while to kind of come back to your senses, but it was not, again, like I said, the experience I thought I would have labor and delivery or initial days of postpartum.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:18] Does your child love pirates now?
Caitlin Wilder [25:20] Honestly, no, he's very into cars. I haven't showed him pirates too close to home. The eye patch triggers me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:28] All right, so now it's, I think, time to take one more break. When we come back, I want to find out how your postpartum was, how your career shifted, and what you're planning for this imminent birth. We'll be right back. Welcome back. We are talking to Caitlin Wilder. Wow, what a crazy first birth story. Just very intense. I mean, you seem very sensitive to the drugs.
Caitlin Wilder [26:58] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [26:59] Once you got home, how was postpartum in a nutshell?
Caitlin Wilder [27:03] So postpartum, once we got home, was a little bit of a difficult process. My son was borderline jaundice, so he was never fully diagnosed with jaundice, where he had to be under the lights. But for five days in a row, we had to drive him to do heel pricks, which isn't really what you want to do right after you've had a baby is sit in the car for long drives. And then he was tongue tied. So he had a really severe tongue tie that needed to be revised and a cheek tie. So our feeding journey got off to a very difficult start because of the tongue tie, I was having to do the revision. I was having to do, like, try feeding where I was feeding, pumping, and then giving whatever
[27:43] I had pumped on top of that. So it was a lot at the beginning, but eventually smoothed itself out. But I was taking him to like little baby chiropractor, which is honestly, actually very cute. And I did not mind that, but it was a lot more complicated than I knew that it could be.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:03] So you learned a lot. Met a lot of people.
Caitlin Wilder [28:06] Actually, I'm very thankful for the people that I met and worked with in the community that helped my son. And also, I'm now fascinated by tongue ties, so I can also talk about that for 12 hours, if you want.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:20] Nothing would make me happier.
Caitlin Wilder [28:22] Sure. Ultimately, I'm very thankful for the experience because now going into having a second baby, none of that will be a surprise for me.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:32] OK, so two things that I want to delve into in this segment here. One is you're obviously now a birth worker, so I don't know, did this experience sort of spark that for you?
Caitlin Wilder [28:45] I would say just having my son in general, I realized that what I thought I wanted to do and what seemed important to me was not important to me at all. And if I was going to miss something in my son's life, I didn't want it to be because I was moving emails around, which is fine if you're passionate about how you file your emails. But for me, it just was not doing it anymore. So I kind of realized, oh, I should be a doula. I love supporting women. I love sharing information. I've always been interested in medical stuff, and it just kind of clicked one day. And then the next day, I saw that Laurie Bregman was doing her first doula, the doula mentorship program.
[29:28] And I was like, well, if that's not a sign that I'm supposed to be a doula, that the day after I decide she announces this, it's got to be a sign.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:36] So you're trained, brain trained.
Caitlin Wilder [29:38] I'm addicted to her. I told her she will never lose me or be allowed to lose me. I've done two mentorships with her now because I'm basically paying her to talk to me and be my friend, which I'm very comfortable with. So it's worked out well.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:53] I'm sure you're both comfortable with that.
Caitlin Wilder [29:55] Yeah. And then I actually still stayed, though, at my full time corporate career while dueling on the side and mothering. Oh yeah, I forgot I was also a mom and mothering.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:08] I mean, every single one of those things is like a full-time job.
Caitlin Wilder [30:12] Yeah, truly. I just didn't think about it too much because if I thought about what I was actually doing, it would get very overwhelming. But if I didn't dig too deep into any of it, it was pretty okay to carry on doing all of those insane things.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:28] And so then you had to cut something?
Caitlin Wilder [30:30] Yes. So then I eventually decided I was so passionate about birth work, and anytime I was doing anything other than birth work, so my actual job, I was very angry. Like, how dare you email me and ask me to do my job right now when I could be thinking about somebody having a baby or talking to somebody about placenta encapsulation? So eventually left my job, committed to being a doula full-time, did the childbirth education certification, and then just went from there.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:05] Wow. I mean, there is something very magical. Like, I stopped doing birth work about almost a year ago, and it's a huge relief not to be on call after all those years. But also, you know, you miss it. There's something insanely magical about being a part of that journey and just seeing humans come through humans into the world. Yeah. And you will always be part of someone's birth story, and I think that that is just the coolest thing in the world. Yeah. I mean, at some point, I think I ended up having done so many that I don't always remember all the births anymore, but they do, you know. So I'll connect with somebody 10 years later, and it'll just still be vivid for them. You're absolutely right about that.
[31:50] Yeah. So what services do you provide down?
Caitlin Wilder [31:52] So now I am, well, not anymore because I'm about to have a baby, but I do in-person doula support, virtual doula support, kind of like one-on-one coaching calls. So if you don't want full doula, childbirth education, I kind of do as much as I possibly can, and as much as people will let me do.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:14] Okay. So there's a lot that you could do without being on call.
Caitlin Wilder [32:18] Yes. I mean, because it is very hard to be on call when you have a two-year-old, so that is not ideal. So I've tried to kind of fill out other things that I can do that can still make me feel connected to the birth world, make me feel like I'm supporting people, make me feel like I'm doing something good for the world without having to be on call.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:39] Yeah. That's amazing. Okay. So now you're very close. How many weeks are you now?
Caitlin Wilder [32:44] I'm 38 weeks and four days.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:46] Oh, okay. How far along were you last time?
Caitlin Wilder [32:49] I had my son at 39 exactly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:52] Oh, okay. So just a few days to go.
Caitlin Wilder [32:54] Yes. So we'll see.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [32:56] Are you feeling things buzzing? Anything happening?
Caitlin Wilder [32:59] I was, but then I've had some very serious talks with this baby this week where I said, I've got some things I need to do. We can't get this show on the road until starting Friday, possibly. So I really kind of shut everything down in my body and with my baby. And now I can relax.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:20] Okay, because Friday is tomorrow.
Caitlin Wilder [33:22] Friday is tomorrow. So that's when I'm going to start my relaxing and letting my oxytocins flow and doing all of that and telling the baby like, okay, now I won't be annoyed if I go into labor tonight. You are free to join us.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:36] Ah, okay. It's sort of like at the hotel. Your room is ready.
Caitlin Wilder [33:39] Exactly. The room was not ready. Housekeeping was still servicing.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:42] If you get there at one o'clock, there's no.
Caitlin Wilder [33:45] No, there was no early check-in.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:47] At best, we'll hold your luggage for you.
Caitlin Wilder [33:49] Even then, I don't want to do that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:52] Okay. So now what is your intention goal plan for the birth tomorrow or whenever it happens?
Caitlin Wilder [33:59] Oh my God. I was like, whose birth tomorrow? Um, so because my previous experience was so medicated, I am guns blazing, going for an unmedicated hospital birth, which isn't actually, I feel like I don't know that many people that have unmedicated hospital births. I feel like typically if it's unmedicated, it's more of a home birth experience.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:22] I don't believe that birth is ever unmedicated. Yeah. Right. So we give you drugs or you make your own stuff and then totally probably a lot cooler than what you took last time.
Caitlin Wilder [34:33] A lot cooler, a lot cheaper. So I'm very down for that. So my whole birth plan and everything I've been doing to prep has really been built around the ultimate goal of not having any pain medication. So my birth plan all speaks to that. Actually, my doctor was the one who was like, if you don't want an epidural, you need to start claiming it. You need to tell me you don't want one. You need to tell me, and we will come up. with a plan together, which I was amazed by how supportive she was of that. So, birth plan all about what I can do to avoid the epidural. Really focusing on positioning. I worked with Anne Gilligan who does Gilligan's Guide. She's amazing because I think it would be
[35:18] even harder if I have another OP baby to avoid the epidural.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:21] Oh, for sure. I mean, that's the first thought on my mind. You felt like you
Caitlin Wilder [35:23] were breaking in half. I don't know what you mean by that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:26] Exactly. Exactly. So, are you OP now?
Caitlin Wilder [35:28] No. So, I actually don't know the gender of the baby. They're on the right side. So, not OP. Leaning a little bit towards it, but hasn't fully gone there yet.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:36] Okay.
Caitlin Wilder [35:37] But I at least know this time, if I do feel back labor, things I can do to try to flip the baby. So, I feel at least I have more tools in my toolbox this time.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:47] Will you labor at home before you go?
Caitlin Wilder [35:50] I'm planning on laboring at home as long as possible with, again, keeping into account I don't want a Canyon baby and I also don't want to scare my son. So, his schedule kind of comes into play with it a little bit.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:03] But to avoid the Canyon baby, I mean, have you thought about hotel labor?
Caitlin Wilder [36:08] So, I have thought about hotel labor, but I also do because I wanted to be a broadcast journalist. I would love to be featured on the local news. So, if I do have a Canyon baby and that's what gets me there, you know, it's going to be okay.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:20] I hear you. Okay. Either way, you're going to be featured on Dr. Berlin's Informed Pregnancy podcast.
Caitlin Wilder [36:27] Which is even better than the local news.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:29] The afterbirth episode. Oh, fantastic. Sweet. Yeah. So, I guess for me, the more interesting it gets, the better. But I mean, we have done that so many times, labor at a hotel across the street from the hospital. Right. And, you know, some of those rooms have really nice big tubs and showers and food that they could send up, you know what we call that? Yes. No. Womb service. Oh, my God. Yeah. Thank you.
Caitlin Wilder [36:54] You're doing fantastic work tonight.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:56] Thank you.
Caitlin Wilder [36:56] I mean, those are genuine laughs that I'm giving you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:59] I appreciate it. That means so much to me. Okay. So, going to labor at home, try to beat the Canyon and get to the hospital ready to push. RTP.
Caitlin Wilder [37:08] Yes. My dream is to roll into that hospital at nine centimeters dilated.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:14] But still never considered out of hospital birth.
Caitlin Wilder [37:18] No, still never considered out of hospital birth. My husband was not into it. And, you know, I love the idea of a home birth. I think home births are amazing, but for whatever reason, I feel safer in a hospital environment.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:34] That means you got to feel safe. Yeah. And who's coming?
Caitlin Wilder [37:40] So I actually, Catherine is coming. She moved to Florida and I.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:43] She's coming back.
Caitlin Wilder [37:44] She's coming back. She's here. She's with Lori having like the ultimate doula staycation.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:51] FOMO right now?
Caitlin Wilder [37:53] I know. Yes. OMG. So Catherine is back. Cannot wait to be present for my birth to actually work with her during it. I've told her that she and I will be the stars of the show and my husband will be on the couch in the background. And I'm super excited. I'm doing like all kinds of maybe unhinged a little bit, birth affirmations that really like make me feel powerful and really good about it. Like you are the most powerful person who's ever walked the planet. Oh, oh you. You too. I mean, kind of the energy of like you destroy your enemies. And I mean, there is no gold medal for not getting an epidural during birth. I love epidurals, but I want Catherine to whisper in my ear like,
[38:48] but there is a gold medal for you. Like that's the kind of energy that I'm bringing into this birth.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:55] Curioso. Like, okay. If you feel like you're breaking in half, right? So would it bum you out to have pain medication?
Caitlin Wilder [39:05] I think it would. I think it would bum me out. But because I did experience back labor, I know that that is something that is almost impossible to experience without getting pain medication. But I do also, because I am going into it, knowing what that feels like, knowing, okay, my immediate goal, the second I feel labor starting is to flip that baby. So I can get out of OP as quickly as possible.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:32] So I was wondering if you're going to labor at home because the tub can be really helpful. And yeah, I could zoom in and make jokes.
Caitlin Wilder [39:39] Please do because I'm feeling very relaxed and comfortable right now.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [39:44] Whatever I need to do. Well, I'm very excited for you and I love your energy going into it. I guess why I asked about if you'd be bummed is I wonder if you considered any of the other options. Like we just had a mom who, her doula, like things were moving quickly and her doula- like, why don't we just get a shot of morphine and, you know, take a rest for 20 minutes? Yeah. And that turned out to be what was great for her. And now, because I know it wasn't available during the pandemic, but they just brought back the walking epidural.
Caitlin Wilder [40:13] Oh, okay. That's fantastic news. I am open to narcotics, morphine, walking epidural. I would
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [40:20] be far more open to it. It really truly is just avoiding for me that drugged experience. I wonder if you needed one for walking epidural because it's not as much medication and it's certainly not as much anesthetic, so you can still feel your body. I wonder if you'd be able to not go into an overly medicated state, be still very conscious and be able to move into whatever positions you wanted to and things like that. Yeah. I mean, I'd be very into it.
Caitlin Wilder [40:48] I'd be very open to it. I will say also, this might be an absurd thing to admit about myself that maybe I shouldn't. I'm very motivated by ego and I think you're human. You're just admitting it. So the thought of being able to say I had an unmedicated birth, I was able to do it really like I could kick a door off its hinges. Like I feel very empowered.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [41:11] Yeah. Okay. Fine. I'm on board. Totally. Okay. Well, now that you're on board, then we are for sure good to go with your ego. I'm just saying you are the most powerful person to walk the planet. Thank you so much for recognizing that. You're welcome. Okay. So I feel like we're 20 separated at birth. Yeah. Maybe our mom was overly medicated. Honestly, could have been. Who knows? The 80s were a wild time. Yeah. So that's the other thing. We're twins separated at birth by about 15 years. I love that though. Okay. We're going to wind down. You're going to go have your baby pretty soon and I'm sending the juiciest, most positive, amazing birth vibes for you.
[41:54] Thank you. Amazing experience. And I hope that everything goes the way you want it to, no matter what happens. No, you're surrounded by the birth squad of angels. Just the most amazing people, your doctor, your doulas, just everybody. And I can't wait to hear the
Caitlin Wilder [42:10] story on the other side. Thank you. Yeah. I'm very excited to come back and tell my victorious story for you. But until then, where can we find you online? I am on Instagram at Wilder Beginnings. I do a lot of education there. I do a lot of personal oversharing there. Oh, Wilder Beginnings is the cutest name ever. Thank you very much. It's a good last name. I will give my husband that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [42:36] There's so much you could do with that. Yeah. What was it before?
Caitlin Wilder [42:39] It was Mouton, which is French for sheep, but nobody knew how to pronounce it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [42:44] And I was okay to say goodbye. Did they call it mutton?
Caitlin Wilder [42:48] Mutton, mountain, you know, a shocking variety. And also Mouton Beginnings doesn't have the same ring to it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [42:56] No, it definitely does not. No, it doesn't really roll off the tongue, that one. Okay. Amazing. We're going to find you online. We're going to interact.
Caitlin Wilder [43:05] I'd love that. Check in on all your oversharing. Perfect. Please do. I'm having a great time over there. I have my little corner of the internet. Can't tell you if anybody else is, but you know, the more the merrier until you're like, God, this woman will not shut up.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [43:20] Yeah. The crazy thing people are always like, wow, stand-up comedy. That's really, you know, brave. I'm like, I don't really drink ever, but before I do stand up, I have like two beers. It's always a great show for me. Yeah. I always have a great time. That's all that matters. Yeah. You know, I'm not even in touch with my audience. Yeah. All right. Before we exit and wind it down, any final thoughts?
Caitlin Wilder [43:44] Yes. My final thought is that I am so excited to be speaking to you because your podcast was the only thing I listened to during my first pregnancy. I was obsessed with the before and afters. You are like required homework for all of my clients. I told your producer when you responded to me, I felt like a beetle was answering my DM because I did slide into your DMS too. So it is such an honor to be speaking to you. I cannot thank you enough for what you do and the information you share.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [44:13] Thank you. And thank you for paying it forward for our audience now with your own personal
Caitlin Wilder [44:17] story. Well, hopefully they won't be like, God, it all went downhill from that Wilder Beginnings episode. But look, at the very least, we had some great convo about Real Housewives.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [44:28] And you had some fantastic one-liners. If you're working out new material, I would recommend this episode just for that. I'm going to have to listen back to it. All right. Thanks again. Thank you. We're going to go. I am going to find you at Wilder Beginnings and we'll hang out over there. And thank you for joining me and to our audience. Thanks for joining us. And if you want more of this pregnancy and parenting media, visit us online at headinformedpregnancy.com.
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