November 30, 2023 · 38 minutes · Episode 383
About this episode
Professional birth worker Caitlin Wilder is back just one week after having her second baby. We recap Caitlin’s harrowing birth story including her mindset during labor, the rush to the hospital, and what she’s learned.
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Key quotes
“And she was like, absolutely not. You think you're in charge. Spoiler alert. I am. And she did not come.”
“Yeah, mentally, it leaves you in a really unwell spot where you are wanting something to happen, not wanting it to happen, trying to control something you can't control.”
“And it was so powerful to get to feel those feelings and I'm so thankful that I was able to because I didn't really know what birth was like”
“No, because honestly, I'm on such a birth high from the experience and how amazing it was and how powerful I felt that I'm like, oh, why not do this again? And I'm sure in a week, I'll be like, you are a deeply unwell person for thinking about this right now.”
“Well, that's why I was like, oh, I can control this labor because I'm a person who thinks I can control anything, but I was very determined to have this birth”
Related episodes
- Ep. 382 Caitlin Wilder: Before Birth
- Ep. 329 Valentina Trentini: After Birth
- Ep. 363 Dr. Steven Rad: The 20 Week Anatomy Scan
- Ep. 377 Traci Burk: Before Birth
Transcript
AI-generated transcript with speaker labels — may contain errors, especially names and medical terms. Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC appears in blue; Caitlin Wilder in orange.
Download PDF of the Transcript
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:12] Welcome to the Informed Pregnancy and Parenting podcast. I'm your host, Pregnancy Focus Chiropractor Dr. Elliot Berlin. My guest today, you'll remember from the last time we talked to her, is a former entertainment professional, currently a certified dual ed childbirth educator, and last time we spoke here was literally about to give birth, and now has had the baby.
Caitlin Wilder [0:57] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [0:58] Caitlyn Felter, welcome back to the podcast.
Caitlin Wilder [1:01] Thank you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:02] Congratulations.
Caitlin Wilder [1:03] Thank you. It's wonderful to be back.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:06] Okay, so we spoke to you really at the very end of the pregnancy.
Caitlin Wilder [1:11] So we thought, actually, we thought it was the end of the pregnancy. I was so convinced I was like going to give birth any minute. I did not give birth for almost two weeks later. I gave birth on my due date. There's the day after.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:25] I mean, this is great because we didn't have to rush so hard to record.
Caitlin Wilder [1:30] That was the story of the end of my pregnancy. I rushed everything and then was just sitting around for weeks.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:36] Twiddling the thumbs.
Caitlin Wilder [1:37] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:38] Okay. If we could recap your first pregnancy and birth experience, you had a good pregnancy, if I remember correctly, smooth.
Caitlin Wilder [1:45] Yes.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:46] Was the word you used.
Caitlin Wilder [1:47] Yes, very smooth.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [1:48] You had this plan for birth and it didn't go exactly according to plan. You had back labor, and then back labor makes you feel like you're going to break in half. So you got a epidural, but it was not the great epidural experience.
Caitlin Wilder [2:02] No. For some reason, it felt heavy handed to me and I was very drugged and out of it by the epidural and basically was not present for my entire labor. Right. And birth.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:17] And birth and then had to go on magnesium after for 24 hours and was even more out of it. So a very medicated, not present 48 hour experience. Okay. And then your plan was, I guess at first to go into labor before your due date, which didn't happen. Spoiler alert. And then to do an unmedicated or lightly medicated hospital birth.
Caitlin Wilder [2:44] Yes, exactly.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [2:46] Now we join your story already in progress. So what did you do with the two weeks when the baby didn't come?
Caitlin Wilder [2:52] I did a lot of what I called a quote unquote releasing, which was really just me giving up mentally and accepting that I could not control when this baby was coming. I always say our children are like our greatest trolls. And apparently my children start that in the womb. And I convinced everyone I was going to have this baby early. And she was like, absolutely not. You think you're in charge. Spoiler alert. I am. And she did not come. I also think for me a lot of it because of my son, I have a two and a half year old. I was really worried about him and how he would handle everything. And so I truly think I had such a mental block on going into labor because of
[3:38] that, that I just couldn't let my body relax enough. And finally I did. And my son seemed OK. And I just decided we're going to hit the ground. We're going to walk a ton. We're going to let go.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [3:53] Were you doing things during the two weeks to try to encourage?
Caitlin Wilder [3:58] I was. And I also wasn't doing as much as I should have been doing because I didn't want to go into labor because of my son, because he had had like a sleep regression thing. Like it was a whole situation. So I was eating dates. You know, I was doing the evening Primrose oil, but I wasn't mouth or no, I was inserting it. OK, but I wasn't walking a lot. And I just mentally was not welcoming. Like I was not putting out like welcome party vibes for my daughter. It was like, stay back.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [4:30] You're like, where are you? But don't come. Correct. OK. I mean, where does that leave you mentally? It seems like a rough spot.
Caitlin Wilder [4:38] Yeah, mentally, it leaves you in a really unwell spot where you are wanting something to happen, not wanting it to happen, trying to control something you can't control. And then for some reason, something just shifted over the weekend. And I felt, OK, I'm ready. I'm ready to move on from this waiting game. I'm letting go of control. I'm welcoming it whenever. happens, it will all work out. I walked a bunch over the weekend and then any cervical checking. I had a cervical check at my 39 week appointment and I had not dilated anymore. I was still like one centimeter dilated, only 30% effaced. And because my doctor felt bad for me, she described my cervix as soft slash medium when before it was medium. But I think she just
[5:25] threw that in there to make me feel better that something was happening. So that was an appointment on Thursday. And that was the Thursday. And on Monday, I was going to hit my due date. So that weekend, I walked a bunch, really worked on like relaxing, really worked on like having fun with my son, getting the oxytocin flowing. And on Monday, I went and got my nails done, had a really nice day. And I just had a feeling I texted my Jula and I said tonight and tomorrow are going to be that's our time, like it's going to happen. And then it did.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:00] Wow. I mean, you should have a prediction service for all the other mommies.
Caitlin Wilder [6:06] Well, boiler alert, all of this made me think I could control what was going on. I could not control a single thing. And that happened a little late in the game.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [6:14] But okay. So when you say after all that walking, and you said it's going to be the next day and a half, what time of day and how did it start?
Caitlin Wilder [6:23] So I went to sleep that night. And I really had a feeling it was going to happen. I had had a lot more like pink tinged mucus discharge. So I was like, Oh, I know my cervix is changing and felt a little crampy that day, went to bed. And at 1130, I woke up from a contraction. And it was in the front, which was very encouraging for me because I did not want back labor. And it was not too intense. I couldn't sleep through it. But then it kind of started feeling a little bit more in my back. So instead of trying to rest and sleep, I was like, Okay, I'm going to prioritize like hands and knees, all fours, cat cow to try to keep the baby from not being sunny side up. And then also I decided again, because I thought I could
[7:15] mentally control labor, that I was going to stop being in labor for the rest of the night, because I wanted my husband to be able to take my son to school that morning. So I was like, Oh, I'm just going to totally shut this down. And we're not going to be in labor. And I found a position where if I sat at an exact 90 degree angle in my bed, like no contractions would come. So I did that. I don't know what was going on truly. But anytime I moved, then I would have a contraction. So I just sat so still for basically all night long, trying to will my body to not go into labor. And I was fairly successful until like 530 in the morning. Is your husband awake for any of this? So he was sleeping in the guest room,
[8:03] because of my son's like sleep regression. And at one point, he came in the room where I was at like 3am to get a blanket. And I said to him, I'm in labor. And he goes, okay, and walks out of the door. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll talk to you later. And apparently, he thought I said I'm awake and did not catch that I told him I was in labor. So he had no idea what was happening in the other room.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [8:32] Sleepwalking. Okay. Yes. and brand B four times. Welcome back. We are in the after episode of a before and after birth story with Caitlin Wilder. Okay, labor starts, but she tries to will it, not to progress because she wants her husband, who is sleepwalking through the house, to be able to take her toddler son to school in the morning before they go into labor. And she's doing a great job at staving off labor until 5 30 in the morning. When something happens,
Caitlin Wilder [10:39] Caitlin, tell us what happens. Correct. I should also say that during this time, this is very LA specific, but my doula was in one part of the city. My mother-in-law who was going to watch my son was in another part. And then the hospital where I was going to deliver is in a whole other part. So I also was trying to control traffic patterns and logistics while all of this was going on. And my poor doula Catherine Deeb, who's amazing, she knew I was straight up lying to her all night. And she kept texting me and being like, are you still trying to control your labor? Are you what's up? And I would be like, yeah, but it's going great. Like I'm totally fine. And then around 5 30, things started to get
[11:20] more intense. And I was like, okay, I'm not really holding on to this as much as I was before. And then at 6 o'clock, my water broke. I wasn't 100% convinced my water had broken because I was going to the bathroom, which is a very difficult time to tell if your water is breaking, but I felt like an internal pop. And I thought, Oh no, this is happening. And I texted my doula that was at 6 o'clock. And I said, I think my water broke. I still was trying to play it cool. Things were not cool.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [11:55] Okay. Up until that point, because you said your surges started in the front and then they were also kind of in the back, but you did the hand and the knees.
Caitlin Wilder [12:03] Yes. We're actually multiple times. And then I felt her flip both directions. So I could tell I had gotten her successfully at one point to be facing my back. And then at another point, she had flipped again. By the time my water broke, she was OP. So it was in the back again.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [12:24] Okay. So OP for anyone who doesn't know. The baby's occiput was posterior meaning against Caitlin's back. So the baby's hard skull bone in the back of the head was against Caitlin's hard pelvic bone in the back of her, under her spine. A match made in hell. Well said, Touche. Because this is what happened to you the first time.
Caitlin Wilder [12:49] Exactly. Exactly. And I was like, oh no, it's happening again. It was so familiar, which I think might've ultimately helped because I knew what it was this time. So I texted my doula and I was still trying to play it cool at 6 a.m. I've gotten to the shower and I felt like things were okay. Things were not okay. Eventually, my doula at like 6 15 said she was 45 minutes away. And I wrote back, I do not have 45 minutes. So already at that point, I knew I didn't even have 45 minutes for her to come here to then take me to the hospital. I started timing my contractions. I hadn't timed them before because they were so far apart until my water broke. And immediately after three contractions,
[13:38] my contraction timing app was flashing on the screen, go to the hospital now. Please go. Because my contractions at their longest distance apart were two minutes and 45 seconds lasting a minute. And that was when I started timing them.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [13:55] 245 apart?
Caitlin Wilder [13:57] 245 apart, each lasting a minute. And that was the longest they were apart. So then it was rapidly going like two minutes, 30 seconds. So my husband and son woke up. And they walked in. I'm in the shower on all fours because that still felt good for my back labor. And I said to my husband, you need to call my sister, she needs to drive me to the hospital right now. Because I had so severely misjudged how quickly things were going, it would have taken too long for my mother-in-law to get from where she was to me. I didn't have 45 minutes for my doula to get to me. Luckily, my sister lives two minutes away. And I said, she has to take me to the hospital right now. And you have to take
[14:46] our son to school right now. There is no time here. So my sister comes to my house. I think we get in the car at maybe like 7 15. When she walks into the bathroom, And I told her I have to push so we haven't even gotten into the car yet, and I'm telling her I feel like I have to push
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:07] How far from you to the hospital typically?
Caitlin Wilder [15:11] So, I mean this is very LA specific, it's over the hill going to Cedars and we were creeping into rush hour time And going over the canyon, it's not like you're giving birth on the side, you can pull to the side of the road or pull into a gas station You're in the middle of a two-lane canyon
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [15:27] What in each direction?
Caitlin Wilder [15:29] Yeah, like no one's coming to get you if you are having your baby in the car there, you're stuck in traffic So we got in the car Brewing up to be quiet Yeah, we got in the car and I was like put the front seat down, I have to be on hands and knees in the front seat So we are driving over the canyon, I am like roaring like a dinosaur at this point in time I'm making so much noise, it felt so good to make that noise and it was like a release for me But I just wish I could have seen somebody drive past us because it's my sister driving I'm in the front seat, hands and knees, facing the back of the car So if somebody's driving by us, all they see is my sister and then my butt in the air in the front seat
[16:21] Hearing these like crazy noises coming from the car, so it was a lot
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [16:27] Is there a closer hospital? Did you ever thought maybe we should go?
Caitlin Wilder [16:31] You know that would have been really smart if there was a hospital that is probably 10 minutes away And at that point in time, I did not think of that, I was like let's get in this bumper to bumper one lane canyon traffic And see what happens
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [16:45] Excellent thought Caitlin, excellent
Caitlin Wilder [16:47] Yeah, there's a lot of like really misjudging what was happening while it was happening So my husband is like racing to drop my son off and meet us at the hospital My doula is on the way, my sister is driving me My favorite photo of my labor is at one point my sister took a selfie of herself where she looks fantastic And I'm in the passenger side where you just see me like looking over my shoulder We finally get over the hill and at this point my contractions are 30 seconds apart And I am saying to my sister, I have to push, like I'm gonna start pushing now She's frantically calling my doula, my doula's at the hospital, thank god, she was waiting in the parking structure for me
[17:33] We pull into the parking lot, my sister thinks she's in the wrong place She backs up into a bush in her car while I'm again like about to start pushing this baby out She gets her parking pass and it's 747 So we pull into the parking lot, my doula is there with a wheelchair I'm in full transition at this point Like I was pretty convinced I was gonna have the baby in the car in the parking lot I had one contraction in the car, got onto the wheelchair, couldn't sit on it though So I was riding the wheelchair backwards on all fours While Katherine, my doula is trying to push me down the hall into the elevator I get into the elevator and there's a policeman and I said, oh thank god you're here, you can deliver my baby
[18:20] He got off on the first floor he possibly could So I am moaning in the elevator, we get up to the labor and delivery floor There is like a group of nurses in the hallway having a meeting and the doors open and I'm like As again riding this wheelchair backwards, they push me to reception My sister checks me in, at some point someone comes to me and is talking to me And it's so funny because to me it was this older woman wearing a nurse's scrub shirt And Katherine, my doula was like, do you remember that guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt talking to you? And I was like, did we just have a vision? Did somebody visit us both in this moment? And we totally received them in separate ways
[19:08] Because this person was talking to me so calmly And Katherine thought it was a man in a hole, like a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville guy So we have no idea who this person was They tried to get me to check in, I couldn't Katherine is wheeling me as I'm riding the wheelchair They tell me to go to one room, it was the wrong room Katherine accidentally runs me into the wall because she couldn't see over me There's so much going on We finally get into the room, they told me to lay down And I was yelling like, are you serious?
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [19:42] Oh, they want you to go on your back?
Caitlin Wilder [19:44] They wanted me to go on my back because they wanted to do a cervical check And I was like, it's pretty clear what's happening right now Do we really need a cervical check? But they did a cervical check I was 10 cm, 100% of face, plus 3
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [20:00] Okay. Baby was there. How did they even get to your service? How was your back?
Caitlin Wilder [20:05] So my back was not good, but I will say the noises that I was making provided so much relief for me and I was able to really focus on the in-between time of the contractions. So when I could feel a contraction building, instead of being fearful, intense, I for some reason was able to receive it as like, Oh, thank God it's starting because it's going to be over soon and I'm going to get back to that more relaxed place. And I just focused on that and breathing and making noise and it was very painful. And if I had been at the hospital any earlier, I would have probably gotten an epidural because it was so painful. And when I got to the hospital, they told me I was 10 and plus three, somebody said,
[20:58] do you want an epidural? And I looked at them and I said, yes, I looked at them and I said, is there time for that? Like in what world also am I going to be still enough for you to put an epidural in? And this nurse looked at me and she was like, I don't think you need one. I was like, I think you're right. So I'm on the bed. I got back on all fours. They tried to give me an IV and I said, absolutely not. This is not the time for an IV. At one point they were like, can we take your shorts off? And I just screamed, my shorts are still on. Like I didn't know what was going on. My doctor was not there. It was a resident. She was on the way, but my doula had called the hospital and the hospital didn't
[21:42] really fully believe what she was telling them about the situation we were in. So they didn't call her. She just happened to already be on the way. So it was just nurses and a resident. And they were all telling me like, it's okay. We can deliver your baby for you. And I was like, I certainly hope so because this baby is about to come out. I couldn't not push. I don't even think I actually pushed. It was complete like fetal ejection reflex. Like this baby was coming out on its own. At one point I said, I need to go to the bathroom. Like let me sit on the toilet. And like eight people yelled in unison, no. And they did not want to let me off the bed.
[22:26] I, again, didn't even really push twice, two contractions. She was out. It was delivered unmedicated, all fours, hands and knees. My doctor was not there. My husband wasn't there. He didn't make it. Literally, he got there seven minutes later. So there was not even seven minutes to spare. Like I couldn't, you know, stop it. So from the time 747, when my sister got her parking pass, I had the baby on the bed behind me at 807. So 20 minutes of pulling into the parking garage to deliver the baby. Navigating through the hospital corridors, elevators. Yep, having a contraction. Having a contraction in the car. The policeman hitting the first stop on the elevator to get the hell out of there.
[23:12] Navigating reception to having a baby was 20 minutes to the dot.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [23:18] Wow.
Caitlin Wilder [23:19] Yeah, and then no doctor, no husband. I couldn't believe how quickly it had happened that it had happened. My doctor made it like five minutes later. They were really good about leaving the cord unclamped and connected so my husband could still cut the cord. So she was connected, I think, for like almost 10 minutes. But it was crazy. And people kept popping their heads in because they could hear what was going on. I mean, imagine you're like starting your shift at eight and everything's going well. And then all of a sudden you see this wild woman like roaring down the hallways, roaring in the room, screaming. I mean, it was crazy, but it was pretty fantastic.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:06] Our first birth, my wife and I, with our first born was about 42 hours.
Caitlin Wilder [24:13] Oh my God.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [24:14] The second one was just under three hours. And it was sort of similar by the time we got to the hospital. It was about 18 minutes from arriving till the baby was out. It was a whole crazy story that I'll tell some other time. But it was a stark contrast to the first one when we were in the hospital. Well, for us, we were in the hospital and we would see people come in. Sometimes people we knew even in labor, but it was their second and our first. And like two hours later, we'd see them like come down the hall with a baby. I'm like, you got your hours after us. And then another person would come in and walk out with a baby. I'm like, do we need like an express lane ticket or what the heck?
[24:53] But it sounds like you got one with your second.
Caitlin Wilder [24:55] Well, I certainly did. I mean, there was not a minute to spare. My doula was. convinced that I was going to give birth in the car. If there had been more traffic, there is no doubt it would have happened.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:08] It sounds like it to me. That's what I thought you were going to say, like we didn't make it out of the parking lot and baby was born right there.
Caitlin Wilder [25:14] No.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:15] When you hit the bus, that could have just done it.
Caitlin Wilder [25:17] Yeah, I know. I was like, what are you doing? That's the right entrance. I mean, it was a whole thing. Then I told my sister, I had all these towels and I was like, don't you want to know what those towels are for? She was like, in case you got sick. I said, no, in case you had to deliver my baby in the car. That is how much I was preparing for that to be what was going to happen.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:39] Well, the doula in you.
Caitlin Wilder [25:41] Yes. The doula in me and having Catherine, thank goodness.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:46] All the way from Florida.
Caitlin Wilder [25:47] All the way from Florida for a 20-minute labor. Yes, seriously. Thank God she was the only one that made it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [25:54] The one who came from Florida made it. Yeah. Everybody else, not so much. Let's take one more break. When I come back, I want to just process that a little further. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [26:16] Welcome back to the Informed Pregnancy podcast. We are talking to Flash Gordon of Labor and Delivery, Caitlin Wilder. I mean, your name just sets you up for so many things, but I can't remember a wilder birth.
Caitlin Wilder [26:30] Right? I mean, somebody said there couldn't have been a wilder beginning for your daughter's life.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [26:34] Oh, that's true. Five stars. Okay, so mission accomplished then.
Caitlin Wilder [26:41] Yes, I mean, I had said I wanted an unmedicated delivery and I wanted to get to the hospital at nine centimeters. I did those things, but I put a lot of stress in a lot of people's minds, unfortunately, to get there, but it worked out.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [26:57] And nine centimeters plus one.
Caitlin Wilder [27:00] Yes, yeah. I actually looked at the report of my labor that I got and it basically said when I got to the hospital at first, they thought I was like nine centimeters and then within one contraction, I was 10 and plus three. Like the report was two lines. There was nothing to report.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:19] Everybody's favorite patient, no paperwork.
Caitlin Wilder [27:22] Yes, exactly. And then they had to come in after and we're like, can you sign this release that you consent to having a birth here? And I was like, yes, I think I've already consented by having my birth here, here we go. It was all backwards.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [27:35] I mean, is there a piece of you that can contrast being what felt like overly medicated with your first and sort of woozy out of it and being like self-medicated essentially with your second no outside drugs, just making your own very powerful drugs?
Caitlin Wilder [27:52] Yes, 100% and there are points too, especially once my water broke and I got into the shower and then that whole car ride that I was not present for, but in such a different way than I was not present with my first. I was not present in the car ride because I was just so in my own body and also I think, they say there's a point too, kind of where the mom goes and gets the baby and comes back to earth together. And I feel like that's where I was. I was present in a very different way than with the first where I just didn't even know what was going on. And it was so powerful to get to feel those feelings and I'm so thankful that I was able to because I didn't really know what birth was like
[28:41] because of my first experience. I didn't know what it could be like. It's a wild ride, I will tell you that. I don't know how people do that unmedicated for a long first labor, but I am so thankful to have had that experience to be present and actually be part of it this time.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [28:58] Did the baby come out OP?
Caitlin Wilder [29:00] So she actually turned right as she came out because when I was laboring for two seconds on the bed, I said to a nurse, is she OP? And she said, oh, your stomach is like so categorically OP. And then she right as she came out, she turned and was delivered away.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:19] Was there a ring of fire?
Caitlin Wilder [29:22] There was a ring of fire. I almost said out loud, oh, there's the ring of fire. And then it was over. I mean, it was so quick. It was so quick. I felt it and I mentally acknowledged it and then it was over.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:35] Did you tear?
Caitlin Wilder [29:37] I did tear. I had a second degree tear, which I could also kind of feel happening, but it truly was just so quick. And she came out on her own. Like I did not really do much and her head completely perfectly round because she spent like zero time in my birth canal, like no coding, nothing like that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [29:57] Well, how was the postpartum? of experience. And again, contrast, I mean, look, last time you needed the magnesium and whatnot, but
Caitlin Wilder [30:05] Yes. So last time I was bedridden for 48 hours, hooked up to epidural and then magnesium, couldn't be alone with my baby, couldn't walk and get out of bed for 48 hours. I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom 20 minutes after I had my daughter. I'd never had a single monitor on me. I never had a single wire. I didn't have a single IV. I had like nothing touched me the entire time. It could not have been a different postpartum experience.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:37] Not even shorts.
Caitlin Wilder [30:39] Not even shorts, which I was like, I can't believe they were anywhere near me at any
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [30:44] point in time. But I mean, there wasn't even time for me to like put on a hospital gap. Wow. And then how was feeding with the two different experiences?
Caitlin Wilder [30:53] Yeah. So I was pretty convinced from right when I saw her that she had a tongue tie. Also, my son had a pretty severe tongue tie and they had a similar, very recessed chin, couldn't see her lower lip at all, which my son had. So because I was so with it, I literally an hour after I gave birth was like calling tongue tie places to book consultations to just get her in right away. And the latching was a little difficult at first because of it. So we ended up doing a tongue tie revision. I had her on Tuesday. She had her revision on Friday and it's been so much better since. How old is she now? She will be a week tomorrow. Wow. It's a very fresh story. Yeah, it's a very fresh story. And I truly had to
[31:43] go through timestamps and things to actually wrap my head around how quickly things happened.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [31:50] But yeah, it's very fresh. Okay. Now that you've had these two very different experiences, I have no idea if you're planning another child down the road, but if you were, do you have an idea of how you would want to do it? Yes. I would 100%
Caitlin Wilder [32:06] do a home birth and I would plan that instead of having a possibly unintentional home birth. I would go into it knowing that would be my plan. There was a point too where I was in the shower at my house still where I thought I'm having the baby at home. Like I'm going to have to call the firemen. I mean, I don't even know who you call. Definitely not the police guy. Not the police guy for sure. But I do think if I had a third, I would absolutely, because I, I really did actually enjoy laboring at home as long as I did. There's a reason why I took forever to leave my home because it felt so safe and comfortable there. So I think if I did, I would absolutely have an intentional home birth with no traffic patterns and logistics
[32:53] and car rides involved. You save money on gas. Exactly. Yeah. So they were right to not have you sit on the toilet. Yes, they were very right because they would have definitely had my baby on the toilet. You would have essentially had a water birth. I would have definitely had a water birth. But honestly, I don't even think I would have had time to walk to the bathroom.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [33:16] I would have just had a baby on the floor. Oh, the baby would just come out when you stood up. A thousand percent. Wow. Yeah. What a powerful story. I wonder if you did the home birth, would you like wake your husband up or speak louder? Yeah, I probably would make it a little bit more clear that I was actually in labor and not having a surprise solo labor party. Yeah. Would you have your other kids there? Is it too soon? You just gave birth a week ago.
Caitlin Wilder [33:46] No, because honestly, I'm on such a birth high from the experience and how amazing it was and how powerful I felt that I'm like, oh, why not do this again? And I'm sure in a week, I'll be like, you are a deeply unwell person for thinking about this right now. But right now I'm like, I would love to experience it again. After I had my son in the hospital, I said out loud, I'm never doing this again. And after I had my daughter, I thought I would
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [34:10] love to do this again. Oh, be interesting if you have the twins at home. I don't know. You never know. So I do have one last question. So does the different types of experience that you had, do you think that will influence you at all in your work as a doula?
Caitlin Wilder [34:31] A thousand percent, no question. I think having this experience, I mean, you don't have to have children to be a doula. Of course. I think being able to experience what birth actually is will only make me a more empathetic doula and also more understanding of, you know, the power that comes with birth and also really help people work through their fears around birth. because I felt it and I did it and I can speak to that. And again, that's not a requirement to be a good dual at all, but I think it absolutely has shifted how I will work going forward, no question. And I'm so thankful for that.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:15] I'm so happy for you.
Caitlin Wilder [35:16] Thank you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:17] I mean, when we spoke the first time, you sounded determined.
Caitlin Wilder [35:23] Well, that's why I was like, oh, I can control this labor because I'm a person who thinks I can control anything, but I was very determined to have this birth and I can't believe I did it.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:35] Yeah, I can believe it.
Caitlin Wilder [35:38] Well, thank you.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:39] First of all, was there any laughing during this whole thing?
Caitlin Wilder [35:42] There was laughing when I was in the car with my sister, which was very helpful. That was the time that I needed to be laughing. For somebody who was possibly about to deliver a baby in her car, she was so calm and-
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [35:58] Taking selfies.
Caitlin Wilder [35:59] And taking selfies and looking fantastic in them. Truly, that's my favorite picture. So it worked out that she was the one that was driving me because she was so chill. She was asking me if I wanted to play music. She was trying to figure out how to be encouraging and supportive, and it was coming out so awkward and it was making me laugh. I mean, I loved it. It was great.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [36:23] Because you said that moaning that was helping you release the energy some of the pain and laughing. For someone like you, it's such a good sense of humor. Laughing, I noticed does the same thing. You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time.
Caitlin Wilder [36:40] Absolutely, absolutely. There was no laughing when I did think, oh, I'm either having this baby in the shower or I'm having this baby in the car. But there was definitely moments of levity, which I was very happy about. And I really leaned into those between the contractions and would just like pop up and have a normal conversation with my sister about what she was gonna do later that day. And then all of a sudden it would be like, aah.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:08] That's amazing. All right, well, congratulations to you and thank you for coming to share the story, especially while the details are so fresh. And it's just a lovely story and it couldn't happen to a lovelier person.
Caitlin Wilder [37:21] Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for letting me share my wild beginning.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [37:27] I think that's what we should call this one. I think that when we record this early, especially such an interesting birth, like you said, you had to check the timestamps to even work it out. Usually when we record this early and then you go listen to it in a month from now or six weeks from now, even more details are gone for you. And so you listen to your like, wow, that's a crazy story. Yeah.
Caitlin Wilder [37:53] That'll probably happen. I'm sure. I keep trying to talk to Catherine about it and I'm like, wait, what happened then? And then when did this happen? And then when did that Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville man come to me? And then trying to piece it all together because it was so much so fast that yeah, it was a wild ride. But again, one that I am so thankful for.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:12] And I'm thankful for you. Thank you for joining us here. Where can we find you online, Caitlin?
Caitlin Wilder [38:18] So I am on Instagram at Wilder Beginnings. That's also my website. And I dabbled on TikTok and I dabbled right on out of it because that was a bit too much for me. So mostly on Instagram.
Dr. Elliot Berlin, DC [38:32] I dabbled in TikTok, but I can't shuffle. So I'm out. I'm right there with you. I'll find you then on Instagram and on your website. Thanks again for joining us and at home. Thanks for listening to Informed Pregnancy for more pregnancy and parenting information, including other podcast episodes, our blog, and the all new streaming site. Visit informedpregnancy.com. And I'll see you next time. Bye.
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